Women critical of other women

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

I think I agree with KattattaK. Please don't think I am excusing that type of behavior but I sometimes wonder if there is some primal need to compete with other women? I've always wondered that. Do we have some mechanism in the brain that makes us see other women as contenders as mates for the dominant male? I'm no psychologist or sociologist but I've always wondered that.

Or is it lack of maturity? Lack of development of one's confident ego?

I work very had to see people by their actions and interactions with other people instead of their appearance. I don't always succeed though.

Kathleen

[tkauhi 90]

Those people are like empty calories, you don't need them! (Pun intended)

[iceman80 10]

If 20 lbs makes the difference is that really the guy you want?

[Jersrose43 837]

If 20 lbs makes the difference is that really the guy you want?

Amen!

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Well today I have to go back to work. My job is stressful and my manager is verbally abusive, sh would just say that is the way she is but honestly it's hurtful....she told a new employee that all the employees there are "bitches". I have been there 12 years and getting close to being able not to have to work there anymore but right now I need the money. I am not a bitch. There is so much favoritism, I work very hard, I know how to do my job and I do not need direction. I am not looking forward to going back I am sure there is going to be so many negative comments and it bothers me personally. I try to live my life as a good person, I do my best to not out down other people. I am not perfect. However, I have struggled with domestic abuse, verbal abuse along with many other issues. My employer is not sympathetic. I am sure no one did any of my work while I was gone, it will all just be expected to be caught up when I return. So I am sure my desk is full. And trying to deal with my new way of living and eating this is going to be a very challenging day/week. I am about in tears, I don't want to go. I have been tired and emotional since my surgery and I just don't know that I am ready for this. I would take more time off but I am only allowed 10 days off without pay, before I left I asked my manager, what if I am unable to come back in two weeks? Maybe due to complications or whatever my doctor says. The ONLY answer I got was I don't know the answer to that it has never happened. I said I would like to know the answer thinking she would ask the doctors I work for but no, I worried about it the entire time I was off. The first week after surgery I had a lot of complications so I wasn't sure I would even be able to go back today which has caused me a lot of stress.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Well today I have to go back to work. My job is stressful and my manager is verbally abusive, sh would just say that is the way she is but honestly it's hurtful....she told a new employee that all the employees there are "b*****s". I have been there 12 years and getting close to being able not to have to work there anymore but right now I need the money. I am not a b***h. There is so much favoritism, I work very hard, I know how to do my job and I do not need direction. I am not looking forward to going back I am sure there is going to be so many negative comments and it bothers me personally. I try to live my life as a good person, I do my best to not out down other people. I am not perfect. However, I have struggled with domestic abuse, verbal abuse along with many other issues. My employer is not sympathetic. I am sure no one did any of my work while I was gone, it will all just be expected to be caught up when I return. So I am sure my desk is full. And trying to deal with my new way of living and eating this is going to be a very challenging day/week. I am about in tears, I don't want to go. I have been tired and emotional since my surgery and I just don't know that I am ready for this. I would take more time off but I am only allowed 10 days off without pay, before I left I asked my manager, what if I am unable to come back in two weeks? Maybe due to complications or whatever my doctor says. The ONLY answer I got was I don't know the answer to that it has never happened. I said I would like to know the answer thinking she would ask the doctors I work for but no, I worried about it the entire time I was off. The first week after surgery I had a lot of complications so I wasn't sure I would even be able to go back today which has caused me a lot of stress.

Tbahm, I hope you get to your job today and focus on your workload, and forget about everyone around you. The day will fly by, make sure you have Water and food close by and keep working. Snap, the day will be done. You do not need a sympathetic boss, trust me, ignore her and do your job. I have had a boss like that, a man, 24 years, who is the only person in my life that ever called me a bxxxh. I also have been in a horribly abusive marriage. I am Hercules today, I survived both abusers and i am incredibly happy. You will be a little emotional, I felt that way too after surgery. Just remember, you are not a victim. A new you will emerge from all of this and you will be a changed person. This is the first step. In one year I can see your life maybe going in a totally new direction. Focus on what is in front of you, not around you. You can do this. Suck it up, be strong, one day at a time. Hugs and God Bless! Linda

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Pick the most urgent things to get done today and focus only on those. Get OUTSIDE on your meal break. Get some oxygen and walk even if it's just around the block or building. Breathe some air. Hydrate. Plan something comforting when you get home. Light a candle or take an hour to read or listen to music. You are changing your life and you've already started. Soon your attitude will start to catch up to your body changes. You're worth this and NOBODY can take it away from you!!!

Edited September 8, 2014 by JustWatchMe

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Thanks for the encouraging words!

[waitingtoexhale 174]

@ have you applied for FMLA? Your employer CAN NOT deny FMLA. NO employer can. I pray things begin to look up for you. Be encouraged....

Edited September 9, 2014 by waitingtoexhale

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Waitingtoexhale, our company does not quality for FMLA they would have to employ greater than 50 employees and we have probably 45.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I don't understand why are women so critical of each other? Why not be supportive and say, hey good job and continue doing what you are doing, or hey can I help you in anyway. I am sick and tired of being criticize by women constantly. I have heard some of my so call girlfriends saying, oh yeah if you lose some more weight, even 20 more pounds, you will get the guy you want. I am thinking, do you know what I have been through and what I am going through. So far I am proud of myself, I was 210 and have lost 57 pounds and now I am down to 153. With my height being 5 feet, I should be at around 120-130. I am almost 5 months out from my RNY and I have to work really hard to lose the weight. Working out 3-4 times a week, eating the right foods, having a food diary and staying motivated is not easy but heck I went down this path to make my life better. But being criticize for not reaching the goal as yet is just hurtful. I feel bad for women who pass judgements like this...I feel that they are insecure and can not see other women happy. I would never criticize another woman, matter of fact I would motivate them to eat right and exercise which we are all doing. I believe if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Even a man who is super over weight who I am trying to help with the surgery process say to me, oh if you lost another 20 pounds you will be so hot. Why not say, hey good job and keep at it. And mind you, his wife is not so thin herself...

Just had to rant today...

Well....people can just be dumb. I've been guilty of it myself. I don't know these people, but they might even think they are being encouraging. I also think people give more away about their thoughts than they mean to sometimes. Either way, it says WAY more about them than you! You are doing a great job, you are making permanent changes, and you are gaining confidence that will change your life! How they react to that is up to them.

Honestly, if you were my daughter, I'd tell you to just take those statements with a grain of salt, unless you suspect there was some malicious intent. It really just sounds like a thoughtless statement more than a criticism. You are in charge of how YOU feel, and you should feel great because you have accomplished a lot! Great job!

[KayleeC14 159]

I have found out first hand some women are just catty b*tches, and your better off having friends who will push you and be motivated with your journey. I have rid of toxic friends especially some women in my life who were jealous that I was losing weight faster than they, or couldn't wrap the idea around their heads that I will not be the fat friend anymore. I had one friend of mine actually told me to my face that even though I am losing weight I will never get a man. I was like really? Buh bye dear was my reply back to her. Men can also be just as bad as women at times which is weird to think that. Congrats on your weight loss, and let the haters hate, move on and be beautiful and continue your journey! You got this girl!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

shake it off.

Omg I just quoted Taylor Swift. It's the end of the world as we know it.

[msalas86 2]

one had Medicaid amerigroup as insurance and if so please let me in on the details on getting it approved my BMI 57 salas.marlene27@gmail.com