Dont be a b***h

[elpasovet 83]

For me when I read a thread where someone asks a question if I can relate I respond if not I don't. I have saw many threads where an OP asks if anyone has ate pizza or drank alcohol at a time that seems too early to many people and I have seen many people become what I consider rude and preachy. There are so many different diets out there and when answering a question I take that into consideration. If someone asks if anyone has ate pizza at a month out for me it is rude to say ask your doctor or you shouldn't have had surgery.

I agree with the rude/preachy part. I have seen that as well. Sensitive or not they are still a human being and shouldn't be belittled or talked down to because of their choices. Who do these people think they are?

[Bob2013 326]

If you go around telling everyone "it will be ok" or "everyone does it different" your not helping anyone. They will take it as their bad choices are just fine. And for many of us who have dealt with weight problems, one bad choice may be the start of a avalanche of bad choices. I am sure most people here can relate to this on previous weight loss attempts.

Im not saying its ok to be an a-hole to anyone, but not telling someone when they make a bad choice is a hell of alot worse. Most people come here looking for guidance, and sometimes the guidance hurts. If you just condone everything, your not helping anyone.

[elpasovet 83]

There is a tactful way to say everything.

[Kissifur 244]

If you go around telling everyone "it will be ok" or "everyone does it different" your not helping anyone. They will take it as their bad choices are just fine. And for many of us who have dealt with weight problems, one bad choice may be the start of a avalanche of bad choices. I am sure most people here can relate to this on previous weight loss attempts.

Im not saying its ok to be an a-hole to anyone, but not telling someone when they make a bad choice is a hell of alot worse. Most people come here looking for guidance, and sometimes the guidance hurts. If you just condone everything, your not helping anyone.

I actually agree with you but it's not what you say it how you say it. "I would never put something like that in my tiny new tummy that I have spent so muvh money on and if you do maybe you were NOT ready for the surgery" vs "I don't think it is a good idea to eat pizza especially so early out. Try to focus on Protein so you can maximize your weight loss and take full advantage of your new tummy." Some people take every chance to belittle others and make it about them as if they never struggled with food issues and personally it's not helpful.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

So here's my question about all this.

Who gets to decide who is being "nice" and who is being a "b!tch"? Who gets to judge if one is being firm vs. blunt? What about those who are hyper sensitive? Do we get to stand in judgement of them, too? What if we ask those who are a bit more "easily affected" to say so in their posts so those who are a more apt to just speak their mind can avoid answering them (and therefore offending them) all together?

I'm of the mindset of "take what you want, leave what you don't" and not allowing a stranger on the internet to affect my day at all unless it's in a positive way. I'm weird like that, I guess.

[Kissifur 244]

So here's my question about all this.

Who gets to decide who is being "nice" and who is being a "b!tch"? Who gets to judge if one is being firm vs. blunt? What about those who are hyper sensitive? Do we get to stand in judgement of them, too? What if we ask those who are a bit more "easily affected" to say so in their posts so those who are a more apt to just speak their mind can avoid answering them (and therefore offending them) all together?

I'm of the mindset of "take what you want, leave what you don't" and not allowing a stranger on the internet to affect my day at all unless it's in a positive way. I'm weird like that, I guess.

I am hard to offend personally but there have been times that I have cringed at some of the responses. I just find it interesting that some threads paint some WLS patients as weak vulnerable victims but we don't take that into account when interacting with each other.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

Smh

i am sure you will think i am being a bitch for saying this... but being pre op, i dont think you are really in a position to judge how someone who has actually gone through this process decides to respond to someone else who is post op.

bob is being honest. he's been through the process and come out the other side. he has experience and insight you simply dont. you only think you know where his head is. you dont. after you have had this surgery, then you will be in a place to judge.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am hard to offend personally but there have been times that I have cringed at some of the responses. I just find it interesting that some threads paint some WLS patients as weak vulnerable victims but we don't take that into account when interacting with each other.

I, too, cringe at responses from time to time. Usually only when the name calling or judgement starts, though. I never assume someone is weak or vulnerable and I'd be hot if someone ever thought that of me.

The only time I get "offended" is when someone speaks for me (saying things like "all of us" or "everyone here", etc.) or when I get scolded for taking the time to answer a question and it's not to the satisfaction of whomever is pretending to be my keeper. Even then, I'm not offended, per say, I just get pissy.

Edited August 30, 2014 by LipstickLady

[terry1118 1,274]

So here's my question about all this.

Who gets to decide who is being "nice" and who is being a "b!tch"? Who gets to judge if one is being firm vs. blunt? What about those who are hyper sensitive? Do we get to stand in judgement of them, too? What if we ask those who are a bit more "easily affected" to say so in their posts so those who are a more apt to just speak their mind can avoid answering them (and therefore offending them) all together?

I'm of the mindset of "take what you want, leave what you don't" and not allowing a stranger on the internet to affect my day at all unless it's in a positive way. I'm weird like that, I guess.

It's a matter of perspective. Unless someone comes out and says something clearly and specifically insulting than it's all shades of gray. If it's openly offensive, report it. Ultimately we choose what to read and then we decide what to take out of it. So your mindset to "take what you want, leave what you don't" is the best way to handle things. What it boils down to is I don't know any of you and you don't know me. Why should an opinion formed and based on a few comments matter one way or another to any of us? I try to offer my personal experience and knowledge (based on my medical team's education) to try to help or reassure someone. I try to offer it in a non-judgmental way. I have no control over how someone sees my comment. That is entirely their choice. We all have a vastly different experiences that, when shared, often can help someone else cope with their own fears and problems. That's worth hanging around for. :-)

[elpasovet 83]

i am sure you will think i am being a b***h for saying this... but being pre op, i dont think you are really in a position to judge how someone who has actually gone through this process decides to respond to someone else who is post op. bob is being honest. he's been through the process and come out the other side. he has experience and insight you simply dont. you only think you know where his head is. you dont. after you have had this surgery, then you will be in a place to judge.

Yup I do think you're being a bitch. Because no matter where I post you are always following me and trying to "egg" me on.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

It's a matter of perspective. Unless someone comes out and says something clearly and specifically insulting than it's all shades of gray. If it's openly offensive, report it. Ultimately we choose what to read and then we decide what to take out of it. So your mindset to "take what you want, leave what you don't" is the best way to handle things. What it boils down to is I don't know any of you and you don't know me. Why should an opinion formed and based on a few comments matter one way or another to any of us? I try to offer my personal experience and knowledge (based on my medical team's education) to try to help or reassure someone. I try to offer it in a non-judgmental way. I have no control over how someone sees my comment. That is entirely their choice. We all have a vastly different experiences that, when shared, often can help someone else cope with their own fears and problems. That's worth hanging around for. :-)

Agreed.

[elpasovet 83]

So now I will block you since you want to be ignorant and try to cause an argument on a thread. Moonlite :-)

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've been trolling for a little while and posted a few threads. I've seen others get verbally attacked and bullied on this site and all I want to say is don't be a b***h to folks here. Most of us already have suffered some type of abuse in some form or another and it isn't necessary.

Is hurting other people making you feel better about yourself? I thought this site was to build people up ...let's be positive to one another and not hateful there is enough of that in the world already!!!!

Yup I do think you're being a b***h. Because no matter where I post you are always following me and trying to "egg" me on.

What was that about "smh"? Ha! Pot, meet kettle.

Edited August 31, 2014 by LipstickLady

[elpasovet 83]

What was about "smh"? Ha! Pot, meet kettle.

Smh means shaking my head. I didn't say anything wrong at all but if you read the last part of his post that's what I am shaking my head to.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I know what it means. Just pointing out the glaring hypocrisy.