Sucks to be a Newbie and be considered Offensive

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sandstress, you didn't offend me at all with your posts. And I'm the OP of that "Why are some WLS patients so clueless" thread. Thank you for your contributions there.

I hope you keep posting authentically and transparently just exactly what you feel / think / are curious about. Besides, nobody's post is ever all they think about a topic or the last thing they will ever think about it.

In many ways, message boards are like a big city where some people grew up, others moved in from smaller towns, and others moved there from different countries. On these boards you find disparate cultures colliding with each other. The most unsophisticated visitors assume that their own personal values and culture are the superior values and cultures and should be reflected by everyone else on the board. They spend a lot of time bitching about how others aren't following their rules, making them more comfortable or meeting their needs.

This is a message board. It's not anything else. And you're not responsible for others' feelings.

IMHO.

Edited August 26, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Shersun, I like your

I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.

I have had to learn to get a little thick skinned here and put my tender little feelings aside, and it has helped me greatly here. I need Bariatric Pal in my life!

[jjinWA 511]

I made a comment yesterday about not being able to conceive of people who would put their surgery at risk by drinking alcohol or eating a burger so quickly after surgery... It got a lot of feedback, most of it negative. I'm so sorry. It was never my intent to offend anyone, and clearly...I don't know too much of the emotional piece of this lifestyle change. I thought I was well informed about the mechanics of the procedure and the aftermath, however, I guess I'm not. I'm just trying to get healthy and fit so that my retirement with my husband (who is 8 years younger than I am - He's 55, I'm 63), will be as enjoyable and full of activities as possible. I have RA, Psoriatic Arthritis, Sciatica, Fibromyalgia, and a Meningioma in my brain. I am - yes - a little vain and have been asking questions about excessive skin because I'm frightened of the rash and pain that can be associated with it. But mostly...I'm afraid of the unknown. No matter how much you think you know and have read about it, you can't know til you are out of recovery. I'm nervous and anxious awaiting the approval from insurance and surgery date. I want to publicly apologize to anyone who I may have hurt or offended. Again...it was not my intent.

Sandstress, your thoughts are as valid here in this forum as any veteran. We are all in different stages of this journey and our emotions can be as different as well. I was told that since I have only been on this site since April that I basically didn't know jack. Well that may be true! Ha, but again all perspectives of a topic should be allowed to be heard and even if not everyone agrees with yours, it does not mean you have to hold back on your comments. I agree with others that have said here... As long as it is not mean spirited, hateful, and hurtful, you should be able to speak your mind.

[Sherry S 103]

Thanks. I think most of us on this list being brought up in the era we were have to protect our feelings from being easily hurt. I'm still working on it. I've gotten to the point that I don't care what other people think as long as I know that I'm a good person, I try to be kind to others and try not to hurt others. I've finally learned I can't control what others think or act, that's their problem and It's what I think and know that is important in my life at this age.

Good luck to all of us on this journey.

Shersun, I like your

I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.

I have had to learn to get a little thick skinned here and put my tender little feelings aside, and it has helped me greatly here. I need Bariatric Pal in my life!

[Sandstress51 19]

_{I am so happy to read all your comments ... It's great knowing there is a really good support system here. I have so many questions and concerns. I had my GI Series this morning so that my surgeon can repair a hernia I have at the same time he does the sleeve. I imagine I'll have more pain than just the sleeve surgery. When they say you'll go home with pain meds what do they mean? I thought we can't take pills. I really a chicken-poop when it come to pain. Any thoughts??}

[docbree 199]

I'm going to have a hiatal hernia repair at this same time as my sleeve, too. I believe they send you home with liquid (oral) pain medication such as tylenol with codeine.

[bikrchk 1,313]

If you are unable to conceive of people who would put their surgery at risk by drinking alcohol or eating a burger so quickly after surgery, by all means don't let go of that mindset! It will serve you well to be a compliant patient when your time comes! That said, everyone's struggles are different, and we ALL need to be aware of judgment vs well-meant advice when replying to other on this or other similar sites. It's so hard to communicate intent on a web site posting or text or IM sometimes things get misconstrued. Simply prefacing with "my experience has been" or "what works for me" and "your mileage may vary" can help in a response. Try not to be disheartened, this is a great place to get and give advice!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

_{I am so happy to read all your comments ... It's great knowing there is a really good support system here. I have so many questions and concerns. I had my GI Series this morning so that my surgeon can repair a hernia I have at the same time he does the sleeve. I imagine I'll have more pain than just the sleeve surgery. When they say you'll go home with pain meds what do they mean? I thought we can't take pills. I really a chicken-poop when it come to pain. Any thoughts??}

Amen! We had no x-rays but my husband and I both had hiatal hernias which were repaired when the sleeve was done. Most people here, I believe, have hernias, from many posts I have read. I was home from the hospital in less than 24 hours, and I took one dose of hydrocodone at home (liquid in a bottle). I had no pain, neither did my husband. I drive to the grocery store 2 days later, and walked at the mall 5 days later. You will be okay. The unknown is what is troubling, and my husband and I were very frightened, because of our age and our health. I felt like I was walking on eggshells waiting for something to go wrong, and it never did!!!!!!!!!!!! Looking back, it was a piece of cake, but it felt very scary at the time. We were taking pills as soon as we were home. Many. There are pill cutters to cut pills, and some (not all) pills can be crushed. Your surgeon can tell you which. We left the hospital never to take Metformin and l blood pressure medicine, both of us (lightened that load!). I took Source of Life liquid Gold liquid Vitamin because I was scared of the big Vitamin. I went back on the big vitamin pill at 6 months post op. My husband cut the big Bariatric Advantage vitamin in half with no problem. Hope this helps! Linda

[Sandstress51 19]

I got my Surgery date. October 30th for me!! My final pre-op with the surgeon is 10/23. So happy.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I got my Surgery date. October 30th for me!! My final pre-op with the surgeon is 10/23. So happy.

Congratulations. The time will fly. I am happy for you. Linda

[mick 99]

Something else you might consider. Things somtimes sound a lot different on a forum than you might mean it to be.

[keepingmysecrets 36]

I rarely come here precisely because of the type of responses I have gotten in the past when I posted my point of view. Most of the negative comments come from some who live on this board, and have no other life outside of it, and believe that they know everything about everything and only their opinions are valid. I don't scare off easily but I pick my battles and what strangers have to say of a negative value, is not important to me.

I was sleeved on 9/29. As I feared and predicted, there were many complications that I had never expected in spite of researching this procedure for over a year while losing weight steadily. It is not for everybody, some do extremely well, others not so well. If I had to do it over again, I would not. I find that I am constantly constipated in spite of using every possible medication to assist with that. Before my surgery, I would eat a big salad regularly, but now with a small pouch, that is not possible. I simply cannot take in enough Fiber throughout the day and within my dietary allowanc3es, to keep my system running properly. I have lost about 200 pounds, of which only about 25 are post surgically.

I am still supposed to have further surgeries, (not related to weight loss) and find myself not wanting to do anything that will make my Constipation worse.

My advice is to ignore nasty people. Trust your gut, it is usually correct. And BTW, I agree with your original comments; they should not have generated the responses you got. Your opinion is every bit as valuable as anyone else's and don't assume just because you were challenged on it that you are the one that was out of line.

[k9nana 50]

My surgery date isn't set yet but is coming to that stage really soon. I get closer and closer with every appointment. At my last appointment they said have to lose 10 pounds and then I will get even closer. At the age of 65 I too worry about loose skin and hair LOSS! I started months ago with Vitamins and B12 along with Biotin just to maybe help with the Hair loss as best I can. I don't know if it works but its worth a try. Just because we are 60+ doesn't mean we can't try to be pretty again. My hair is my best asset right now. As far as loose skin..... well we already have that at this age anyway so I'm prepared to just live with it. 3/4 sleeves have become my friend. I plan on getting shape wear and looking fabulous after surgery. I'm looking forward to riding my bike, kayaking and running with my grandchildren. Maybe I'll be able to do cartwheels again!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

My surgery date isn't set yet but is coming to that stage really soon. I get closer and closer with every appointment. At my last appointment they said have to lose 10 pounds and then I will get even closer. At the age of 65 I too worry about loose skin and hair LOSS! I started months ago with Vitamins and B12 along with Biotin just to maybe help with the Hair loss as best I can. I don't know if it works but its worth a try. Just because we are 60+ doesn't mean we can't try to be pretty again. My hair is my best asset right now. As far as loose skin..... well we already have that at this age anyway so I'm prepared to just live with it. 3/4 sleeves have become my friend. I plan on getting shape wear and looking fabulous after surgery. I'm looking forward to riding my bike, kayaking and running with my grandchildren. Maybe I'll be able to do cartwheels again!

I am 68. In 4 days I will be one year post op. I realize now I thought I knew it all because I followed the rules. I really knew nothing. I have not posted in a few months. I have been traveling and enjoying living with my sweet husband who was also sleeved. I have finally relaxed a bit. I get more compliments than you can imagine, even though my weight loss stopped at 160 (from 230), then I stabilized at 170 and I look pretty great I think (LOL)! I am delighted. I will be honest with you. I took Biotin religiously for a year. My hair loss started at 5 months, especially at my temples. I have worn a beautiful wig since June 2014 and I get nothing but compliments. I tell very few people. I would say be prepared with a wig before you need it. Do not buy one online as it must fit right. It is a trade off and I will take the weight loss any day. We are kayaking, walking on the beach, cruising again, and living life to the utmost. Would not change a thing. Best of luck everyone.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Linda, there you are! I've missed you. So glad to hear you're so happy and thriving. Having fun -- that was the point of all this, wasn't it?!