Keeping it a secret

[Kindle 8,667]

I just find it really sad that you all have so many judgmental, negative people in your lives. Between friends, family and clients, well over a hundred people know about my surgery and I've had 2 people say something negative. And for those two, there were a room full of people that chastised them for their ignorance. I never had to say a word. I've never had to defend my choice and I've never felt like my surgery was a dirty little secret I had to keep.

I'm not saying to publish it on social network or anything, but I just feel it's a shame that so many people feel the need to hide their WLS. It's something we should be proud of and society's opinion is never going to change if we keep the truth about the struggles of obesity to ourselves. Can you imagine if breast cancer or ALS or diabetes, etc were all kept "secret"?

[Luana526 61]

My family knows but I've only told a few close friends and I did, indeed, get a raised eyebrow or two. I would not begrudge an alcoholic and drug addict whatever method or "shortcut" he or she felt was needed to succeed. But I can understand not wanting to tell people. Of course, I know a handful of people who have had the surgery, and they're very supportive!

Edited September 13, 2014 by Luana526

[carol9077 25]

I kept it a secret for a short while other than my family member. When I started making all my pre-op appointments then I had to let my manager in on on it because of changes into work schedule. She was happy for me.

[CPArnold 35]

I wasn't going to tell anyone either. My husband, of course, and my mother and sister. That was about it. But I have found, as time goes by, that I do tell some people. Just depends on the feeling I get from them. If someone wants to tell me about someone they know that didn't have a great result, I just cut them off. Don't need negativity right now but I'm pretty good at steering the conversation. I just tell them that I've done my homework and I'm confident with my surgeon. Also that I don't really feel as though I have a choice. I used to be fat but healthy and it was okay with me. Now I'm on several medications and have never been able to keep weight off. I've been working on this all summer and just told our son in Florida today. We are going to visit him and his awesome wife and baby boy in November and I just wanted to surprise them. Then I decided that that really wasn't fair and that they deserve to know. If anyone EVER suggest that this is an easy fix, I think I may slap them. This is far from the easiest thing I've ever done. Weight Watcher was easy....This is having most of your stomach removed after two weeks of nothing but liquids. Even cat food smells good at this point. We all deserve to be healthy and happy.

[Mrs. Reid 392]

I'm not telling anyone at work. I work in a health food store and the people there are into natural treatments for everything. When I told a couple of people I was taking prescription drugs for my hypertension, I got a lot of negativity. I just don't want to have to defend myself. I know that after the surgery I am going to have to say something about the weight loss, I'll figure that out when I come to it. I just don't want to hear a lot of negative comments pre-op. I am planning to leave the job after my follow-up visits post-op.

I have told my best friend - she had the surgery herself and is positive. I told a couple of other friends who are both overweight and they were positive.

[NavyMom2006 119]

I have told my parents and my children. I've also told my boss and several of the gals at work. They all know there's a history of heart disease and diabetes in my family and are all very supportive. I haven't told my girlfriends yet because we have a 4 day scrapbook getaway in November and I want to surprise them!

[kimmerzj29 52]

Hey kindle...it's not that we have negative people in our lives. Well at least in my case..I know people in my life would be supportive my not telling many people is a personal choice we have made because we don't think it's many people's business and would rather not hear the negative if they have something to say...I have tried to lose weight for about 10 years and have been up and down more times then I can count, so I don't think I'm "taking the easy way out" or "giving up" like some are afraid to hear I just don't think it's anyone's business what I choose to do with my

Life and how I choose to improve it

[OnePhatWhoDat 54]

I got approved on Tuesday, and I'll be darned if I tell anybody! Frankly, it's nobody's business but mine! Back in April, I merely mentioned WLS, and oh-my-gosh!!! You'd have sworn I'd said I was thinking about join a terrorist organization the way they reacted! "Girl, why? You're not even that big!" and "I don't want you to do that!" Well...I started the process, and BOOM! Approved. Didn't discuss it with them any further. And won't! As for my co-workers...I will disappear for weeks, and no one will know why, just that I'm having surgery. If they try to ask me any particulars - and they won't because they are my coworkers & not my friends - I'll quote policy reminding them that they are out of order for even asking me about my personal business. They'll leave me alone quickly!

[Rovobay 920]

4 days post-op and no one knows besides my wife! I am happy to keep it that way for as long as possible.

[Lady Rock 25]

Initially only my husband knew and a friend who had recently had the surgery, but now I am comfortable with the whole thing so if people ask, I tell them and with a huge smile on my face

[BellaLuce4 261]

I feel the same way, I haven't told many people. Only my mom, dad, aunt, my boss and 1 other person at work because she planing on doing the same thing. I just don't want to hear any negative opinions before surgery.

I agree, I just don't want to hear anything negative, not that I would, I just don't know. So right now it's about us and taking care of ourselves. Afterwards... I'm open to whatever I am comfortable with. I don't feel the need to blast my business over the PA just at this time... Lol

[Aribay1 198]

Thanks everyone for taking the time t answer my post. Just an update if I didn't say this already my dad mom brother boyfriend 2 best friends and a coworker/friend kknow.i basically told my best friends listen this will make me happy I don't want to be sick and injecting myself for the rest of my life. And they are supporting me big time now whatever makes me happy. Recently my coworker jumped on board after realizing she wasn't my friend if she couldn't support me. I only really express my excitement to my boyfriend because he's my biggest supporter but I'm slowly getting comfortable talking about it with my friends.

[RenewMe 64]

I only told my parents, children, and 2 best friends initially, but as surgery has gotten closer (tomorrow!) I have become more comfortable with telling other family members. I will tell co-workers if they ask.

[GreenEyes604 753]

I'm really glad that someone asked this question. I am in the very early stages of my pre-op journey (3rd month of physician supervised dieting, and I strongly feel that I don't want to tell anyone. My daughter is the only person that knows my plans. I have a good friend that got sleeved 2 years ago, and he posted his entire journey from day one until now on Facebook. I asked him why he felt the need to tell the world about every step along the way, and he said that he really needed the "good job, you look great, etc.", that he was getting from everybody. In a way I totally understand because I'm sure that everyone wants to hear those "feel good" comments, but I just don't want to be judged for making the decisions that I've made. I just recently joined this site, and I think I'm more comfortable discussing things here than I ever would be anywhere else. This has been a very conflicting topic to me.

[angierue 214]

I initially told just my mom, dad, and a couple of close friends. Then I discussed it with my boss even though I didn't have to. I'm a manager at a cell phone carrier and we have a small store, only 9 total employees. I've told a couple of them but haven't been secretive about it at all. My Water bottle at work even has the clinic logo on it and I use it all day, every day. Lol

I haven't said anything on Facebook yet and not sure if I'm going to. I don't have a date set yet so I wouldn't until I know for sure it'll even be this year.

I have extremely supportive friends and family and I'm not concerned with their reactions or any negative comments. Anyone who chooses to judge me for my decision can kiss what will be my significantly smaller tookus! Lol