Bariatricpal scared me shitless

[JCP 619]

I think these are all valid points and concerns. I take comfort in the support group I attend where there are pre ops like me as well as people 4 years out. We have plenty of time for swapping stories so I feel comfortable with that. Also my surgeon's nurse is one of his 4 year vets. She meets with us and exchanges emails, answering all questions and she is very up front about her experiences. She has turkey, dressing, and pie at Thanksgiving but in small servings. I saw my mom die a slow death from morbid obesity. I have faced that I lack the skills or qualities or strength or whatever it is to lose this weight on my own. I'd prefer not to have surgery. But I am more afraid if facing what happened to my mom. Morbid obesity will kill me so I have made this choice. God bless you all, whichever path you choose.

[keepingmysecrets 36]

@@keepingmysecrets You REALLY DON'T have to go through such a drastic life changing, organ altering experience for yourself. BP is not the only forum to get the information good or bad, that you're seeking. I'm sure there are actual support groups at the facility that you've sought out where you can meet face to face with people who've had various bariatric surgeries and can tell you face to face their own personal experience. There's also Google and YouTube with great information. This decision will be your own personal journey and like everyone else, you too will have your own story to tell whether you decide to go for it or not. Best of luck.

I never suggested or implied that the information regarding both sides could not be found elsewhere. I am personally familiar with all those sites you quote. They are irrelevant to my post since they have nothing to do with what I was responding to.

I was responding to a post who suggested that anyone about to have this surgery NOT read the complications thread. And I still say, WHY SHOULDN'T they? That is indicative of exactly the type or reasoning that promotes this surgery (by some, not all) as indicative of the way it is going to work for everyone based on their own personal experience.

BP is a great source of information and community. But there are two sides to everything, and no one should be recommending that anyone else go into surgery based solely on the good experiences of themselves.

Good luck to you as well.

[agirlnamedfrankie 69]

I was responding to a post who suggested that anyone about to have this surgery NOT read the complications thread. And I still say, WHY SHOULDN'T they? That is indicative of exactly the type or reasoning that promotes this surgery (by some, not all) as indicative of the way it is going to work for everyone based on their own personal experience.

What she actually said was to not read the thread for the 2-3 weeks before your surgery. Presumably (hopefully), by the time you've scheduled your surgery, you've done all kinds of research, both good and bad. Once you've made an educated decision for yourself and decided to have the surgery, a lot of people experience a fair amount of anxiety in the time just before. I believe she's just suggesting that perhaps hanging out in the forum meant solely for complications isn't the best way to psych yourself up for the decision you've already made. I don't think anyone would advocate blindly going into this and just ignoring all potential side effects. I hope.

[Patsyb98 13]

I think everyone gets that uneasy feeling when you get close to your surgery date. I read the bad post as well as good post. I can tell you I had my surgery on Nov 4 2013, and it is one of the best things I have done for myself. I'll not say it was easy at first, because you do struggle at first and may even think why did I do this. You need to keep doing what you are told and it gets better and better every week. Then you start feeling the benefits of the surgery and you feel great. Even to this day I have to work at eating properly, and I catch myself slipping on my eating the right foods and wanting to fall back to my bad habits because I have a lot of stress in my life at this time. I know I better get to one of the many support meetings to get back into the right frame of mind. It is very easy to fall back to the old ways.

Again it is one of the best things I have done for myself Healthwise. I know I really feel wonderful every time I get compliments on how good I look and feel.

Stay positive and strong and follow through you won't be sorry.

[waitingtoexhale 174]

@@keepingmysecrets

I never suggested or implied that the information regarding both sides could not be found elsewhere. I am personally familiar with all those sites you quote. They are irrelevant to my post since they have nothing to do with what I was responding to.

I was responding to a post who suggested that anyone about to have this surgery NOT read the complications thread. And I still say, WHY SHOULDN'T they? That is indicative of exactly the type or reasoning that promotes this surgery (by some, not all) as indicative of the way it is going to work for everyone based on their own personal experience.

BP is a great source of information and community. But there are two sides to everything, and no one should be recommending that anyone else go into surgery based solely on the good experiences of themselves.

Good luck to you as well.

Smh:(

[industrial_age 8]

I feel like my point didn't come across crystal clear, I would never advise anyone to go into bariatric surgery blind - EVER. Yes, read the complications forum, know what you might face post-op, but there is no sense reading it right before surgery when your anxiety is at its highest. I had to unplug for a good week before surgery or I would have driven myself mental.

I researched VSG surgery for about 3 years before I had my surgery - I didn't go into this blind, it's a huge decision, because for me basically everything in my life changed I'm a 32 year old single male living in an urban area, I partied...my ass off, and now that isn't my life anymore, it was hard as hell to say goodbye to and it took me a long time to be able to say goodbye to that life. Know that things will be hard for weeks after surgery, there will be pain, you might puke, you might have a stricture but if you follow what your doctor's orders are word-for-word you'll more than likely be okay. I've been lucky (NO I've been disciplined) and haven’t had any complications or vomiting, but you know what it's hard, you have to deprogram the old you and do a lot of thinking before you eat and drink.

Good luck, but please don't let the small risk of a complication prevent you from getting healthy.

[HaddocksEyes 205]

I was 100% sure about the gastric sleeve until I read some of the posts on this site. Now I'm scared shitless and I'm meeting with the surgeon in 3 days. Anyone else back out after reading some threads here???

I had my surgery on the 18th. I really appreciated the posts detailing negative experiences. I really wanted to know the good and the bad.

i didn't back out because I knew if I didn't do this, I would be setting myself up for a life of obese misery. Yes, I was scared right before they did the surgery. i wanted to jump off the table and run out of there!

I am now going into my fourth week and I feel really good. The amount of food I can tolerate increases a bit each week. The worst issue I have is with two of my inciisions not healing quite the way the other ones have. I also still have heartburn and acid reflux at times, but it is no worse than it was prior to surgery.

[tomi71 581]

Being scared is natural. I was too. But I was more scared of the fact that my quality of life would only get worse as I get older if I didn't do something about my weight. I have struggled with an eating disorder for most of my 43 years. My metabolism was shot and my weight just kept going up. It took me 5 years to come to the decision to get sleeved. The first two weeks post-op I was regretting it. However, it has forced me to make a major change in my habits and I have learned to take care of myself...something I never used to do.

I, too, suffer from horrible anxiety and have to take meds for it, even now. But working with a therapist about my anxiety and my weight issues really put my mind at ease about the surgery.

You have to realize, there are risks with every surgery. Find a doctor you are comfortable with. Talk to a therapist and take your time. Meanwhile, if you haven't, start making changes to your diet and try to exercise. I know its hard being a busy mom. I can sympathize, I have been a military wife for 23 years now and that is enough to stress even the best of us but if you get in the habit of taking care of yourself you'll feel better and perhaps your fear of the surgery will subside. The best part will be when you feel your clothes being to big and you have to buy smaller sizes! HUGE self-esteem boost.

I am down 53 lbs and counting. Sleeved 7/14/14 had lost 20 prior to surgery and another 33 since surgery.

Good luck and remember to think positive. Take care of yourself.

Edited September 8, 2014 by tomi71

[Chrystee 838]

I never suggested or implied that the information regarding both sides could not be found elsewhere. I am personally familiar with all those sites you quote. They are irrelevant to my post since they have nothing to do with what I was responding to.

I was responding to a post who suggested that anyone about to have this surgery NOT read the complications thread. And I still say, WHY SHOULDN'T they? That is indicative of exactly the type or reasoning that promotes this surgery (by some, not all) as indicative of the way it is going to work for everyone based on their own personal experience.

BP is a great source of information and community. But there are two sides to everything, and no one should be recommending that anyone else go into surgery based solely on the good experiences of themselves.

Good luck to you as well.

I'm confused to why you are still getting the surgery, if the medical diet you are doing is working so well, that you've lost 162 pounds.. and You dont really seem to want the surgery.. ?

[keepingmysecrets 36]

I'm confused to why you are still getting the surgery, if the medical diet you are doing is working so well, that you've lost 162 pounds.. and You dont really seem to want the surgery.. ?

I don't see why you are so confused about this, there are many reasons to have the surgery besides a lack of control of eating habits that keep the weight on a person. My primary goal is to help with faster weight loss in order to hopefully resolve my diabetes (which is already responding to what I have lost), and mild sleep apnea. Secondarily to help me keep the weight off for the remainder of my life. Also, it is not only the loss of weight that affects the diabetes in a positive manner, there are many theories out there that other things factor into the resolution of this disease when the stomach is reduced by 80%.

I am still losing weight, now down about 170 pounds from my start but still have a BMI of 42. My surgery is on the 29th and I will be going through with it. It is always a personal decision, no two people are the same.

I entered this topic because I have posted before on BP several times about my concern that SOME, not all, people advocate this surgery as a cure all, and minimize the potential for negative consequences.

I have considered all the pros and cons in my own situation and the pro surgery side tilts slightly over the anti side. So I am having it, but I do not and will not ever advocate that anyone go into it by reading only cheer leading posts on sites like this. One in 500 people having this surgery dies (Yes, I had to sign a form just yesterday that stated that statistic), and many more have complications. Educating yourself and both sides of this issue and then carefully considering your own health issues is the only way to make an informed decision.

I understand that the original poster has returned to clarify her post advising people getting the surgery to avoid the complications thread - but I don't agree with that. It is never too late to change your mind, my surgeon's nurse told me yesterday that some have canceled their procedure at the hospital on the day of surgery. Reading EVERYTHING you can before making a life changing and permanent change to your body is always a good thing. Only then can you find information that may allow you last minute questions of your surgeon, and help you finalize a decision that many are ambivalent about right up to the moment their surgery day arrives.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

You having fun?

[keepingmysecrets 36]

I think there are some people who are addicted to board posting who enjoy stirring up the pot and bringing in hostility when it is not necessary to do so. And that is a real shame.

People should be free to post their various, and differing opinions on any subject or be able to give an honest response to a post that another member directed at them, without having such unnecessary and unproductive comments directed at them.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Yeah, I think so, too.

[keepingmysecrets 36]

Yeah, I thought you would agree with me given your extensive time and experience on this board.

I fully admit that my 19 (now 20 ) novice posts cannot possibly give me the knowledge to know everything about everything that there is to know about this subject in the same way someone with so many more can do.

That is why all I do is visit occasionally, state my opinion if I have something to say about something I have read here or reply to someone else who cared to comment about something I have posted.

Spending a lot of time posting on boards leaves so much less time to actually live life fully in the real world. I would hate to have a life so lacking in substance that I would need to spend my time on evangelistic preaching about WLS to others who were not part of an interaction between myself and another person posting. But I guess that is just me, to each his own as they say.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@keepingmysecrets ...

Since i posted above, I skimmed your 20 posts and understand now that you've been attacking this problem seriously for longer than a year. All I'd seen of your posts here when I posted above were your posts in this thread, and those didn't communicate the magnitude of your IRL effort to conquer your obesity.

OK, respect. I understand better now your OTOH, OTOH back and forth about should I, shouldn't I have this surgery?

As you already know, you're an unusual case here, having lost 170 or so pounds thus far through dieting under the supervision of your bariatric surgeon (or he will be if you get the surgery).

I take back my snark. I really thought you were just jacking everybody up.

As Emily Litella used to say ... never mind.

Best to you.