WLS has made me a judgemental jerk!

[jtickle 295]

Ever since I have lost 60 pounds in two months, my personality has totally changed. I am judgemental of people, really bad. I guess I am making up for all the years people have judged me for being super fat. I know I still have quite a ways to go. I go to the gym and there are always these two really large women there. Instead of me being happy for them, that they are exercising. I want to go all Jillian Michaels on them and tell them they are not working hard enough. BTW, I have a severe exercise transfer addiction. I'm also set off by any little thing. I just started a fight with someone on Facebook for no reason at all because she made a comment that I deemed smart ass. I have cut ties with my best friend, and my two brothers. What has happened to me? My shrink has me on several different meds that keep my bipolar under control. I just want to know where this meanness came from. My husband says I have a ton of confidence that he has never seen before.

[une nouvelle vie 327]

I hope you continue to work hard with your therapist to find out why because wow. Good luck.

[elpasovet 83]

I'm glad you're being honest but smh....

[roundisashape 712]

The only thing I can think about is that you might need to have your dosages changed more frequently as you lose weight. It might be worth trying to get them adjusted again. Good luck, I hope you're able to get things under control again.

[LumpySpacePrincess 594]

You are seeing a psychiatrist, but do they also do talk therapy with you? I know many don't, so I thought I'd ask. If not, I'd certainly try to find a good therapist.

I actually talked to my therapist yesterday about the same issue, i.e. being more judgemental toward other large people. It make me realize I'm not actually judging them, I'm seeing myself in them and judging how I used to be.

Also, you are only two months out from surgery and I know my emotional roller coaster didn't stop until about month 5. Its totally normal to be super touchy. And yes, I did pick a fight with someone on FB once, but he deserved it since he was trying to sell something to WLS patients that he claimed would eliminate 50+ pounds of excess skin.

[SherB 220]

At least your recognize this and that is the first step to dealing with it. You don't want to alienate the people in your life that love you.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Really sorry to hear you're going through this.

But if your new "self confidence" escalates (or even if it doesn't) it could put you in danger of being fired, verbally abused, physically attacked, socially isolated, and even jailed.

And those things could really screw with your life.

So you and your therapist gotta do what you gotta do to manage your behaviors.

Very best wishes!

[DaronB 103]

I'm a Christian so I'm going to throw a Christian phrase at you: humble yourself.

I'm still preop so I don't know what kind of reactions physically and mentally me and my body are about to experience but I pray to God it doesn't make me a mean person because meanness is an ugly thing.

The two women at the the gym, try encouraging them, or working with them. They may not have the funds or the support to consider WLS, but they've made a conscious decision to get the gym and try rather than sit at home and snack. It's not about them working hard, it's about them at least being there and working what they have.

I wish you the best on your journey. Just remember, that therapist is there for a reason and if your attitude and mood is poor, than they need to know that or there may be consequences for it.

[simply_Me 61]

Wow u need to humble yourself and stop being mean to people.

[jtickle 295]

Wow u need to humble yourself and stop being mean to people.

I never said I was mean to those girls, I said I had thought of it. I posted this to get some support not to be told to quit being mean. I have kept the majority of my meanness inside me and I have patched things up with my best friend, but I refuse to with my brothers. They deserved what they got. I have severe bipolar disorder type 1. So just changing my attitude isn't that easy. So humble yourself and quit telling people not to be mean before you know the whole story.

[Dr-Patient 830]

@@simply_Me Hello. You're new here. I just want to say that usually people on BP are nice and respond appropriately, not only as a self-described "jerk," but apparently very rude and inappropriately nasty, as well. The reply to your post proved your comment was spot on. Wow.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Your hormones are all out of whack and your meds probably need some adjusting as your body changes. It's great that you are being honest with yourself about your personality changes and acknowledge that you need to work on yourself.

Might I suggest rereading your initial post regularly so that you can refocus on what you were feeling when you wrote it? Have you considered a gratitude journal so you can write about things that make you happy and read it when you aren't?

You'll make it through this, I just want you to make it through it with your important relationships intact.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Ever since I have lost 60 pounds in two months, my personality has totally changed. I am judgemental of people, really bad. I guess I am making up for all the years people have judged me for being super fat. I know I still have quite a ways to go. I go to the gym and there are always these two really large women there. Instead of me being happy for them, that they are exercising. I want to go all Jillian Michaels on them and tell them they are not working hard enough. BTW, I have a severe exercise transfer addiction. I'm also set off by any little thing. I just started a fight with someone on Facebook for no reason at all because she made a comment that I deemed smart ass. I have cut ties with my best friend, and my two brothers. What has happened to me? My shrink has me on several different meds that keep my bipolar under control. I just want to know where this meanness came from. My husband says I have a ton of confidence that he has never seen before.

I've noticed that as my food intake went down, so did my tolerance for bull$# +. I am edgy and p!$$3d off at people more than before. It's a direct correlation to how I used to numb my feelings and reactions with food. Instead of turning my anger toward myself by overeating myself into a food coma every day, I feel the sucky feelings and have to deal with them. Thankfully my impulse control is pretty good and I don't go off on coworkers or others outside my immediate family. But those closest to me sometimes get it. I keep reminding myself that I changed, they didn't, and I need to ease up. Also going through a divorce, and talk about repressed anger there, whoa. So I feel ya. Hang in there. Take a breath and remind yourself that just because we feel it we don't have to say it. And don't eat it. Just don't eat it. .

Edited August 17, 2014 by JustWatchMe

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

fat cells store estrogen. when you burn the fat, the estrogen is released into your bloodstream. estrogen is what makes us women bitches from hell if we have too much.

its likely hormonal. doesnt make it easier, but at least it means you arent going crazy.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

You cant use mental illness to support your undesire and rudeness of fat people now. You were there and probably still are mostly so why take it out on others. There is nothing wrong with confidence but gee wiz that isnt confidence its doing things to people that you dont want done to you. So if you feel the need to judge people in the gym who are trying, why not exercise in your home where you would be more comfortable. Seriously those who have weight loss surgery and then find God or as I say go to jail and find Jesus are probably the most undeserving people to have weight loss surgery. You were right in that position and now you want to judge people. Start off looking in the mirror and learn to love who you see in the mirror.