I'm scared; I'm sure; I'm tired.

[Ash51 32]

I started writing up a list of things that were worrying me about getting surgery and this came out. My wife was impressed enough she suggested I share it and it's probably what I'll put up on Facebook as a way of letting people know what I'm doing.

I'm scared I'll fail.

I'm scared I'll go back to my old eating habits.

I'm scared that my last chance won't work

I'm scared because I don't know what being a normal weight is like.

I'm scared I'll be judged for getting surgery

I'm scared I'll miss food so much I'll get obese again

I'm scared that I won't be able to keep up the changes I need to make over the long term.

I'm sure if I don't do this I'll be dead by the time I'm 50

I'm sure I won't be the best dad I can be if I quit now

I'm sure I won't be the best husband I can be if I quit now

I'm sure if I don't do this nothing will change

I'm sure I'll still be discriminated against if I don't do this

I'm sure I'll still avoid friends and functions if I don't make a change

I'm sure I'll still be ashamed of myself for letting things get this way

I sure I'll never climb another mountain or hike through the bush if I stay as I am.

I'm sure I'll keep missing out on a big part of life

I'm sure I'll never do the things I want or have the adventures I've dreamed of if I keep on as I am

I'm tired of being tired

I'm tired of being afraid of others opinions because of how I look

I'm tired of being in pain all the time

I'm tired of letting what I weigh determine how I can live

I'm tired of being the joke

I'm tired of being a disappointment

I'm tired of being judged

I'm tired of making excuses

I'm tired of lying to myself

I'm tired of being obese.

I can do this.

[ready2getgoing 41]

You are not alone - what you've written sums up what all of have felt and are feeling.

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

Thank you for posting your feelings, Ash51. I've had a lot of the same thoughts and feelings. I'm presurgical and will probably go for it in February. I've already completed everything that is required of me; my last appointment was yesterday with the surgical dietitian. My journey started in June 2013 when my PCP suggested I consider surgery since what I was doing wasn't going anywhere fast and at my age the only way to lose the 100 lbs. I needed to lose would be surgery; the logic being that I would have to exercise a heck of a lot more than I already am along with a very low cal food plan. I have several comorbidities that will be greatly improved with the loss of that 100#. Even though I've jumped through all the hoops already, I still haven't firmly said "Yes, I'm having sleeve surgery," nor have I told any family other than my husband who is 100% supportive of whatever I decide. Some coworkers know only because they've had WLS surgery and I wanted to hear the details of their experience. Your post has inspired me and I'm feeling the time is soon to start talking openly about having surgery. Good luck to you!!

[Cupcake 801]

Thank you for sharing this you got this as you see you have more positive reasons for having this surgery and you got this, stay focus on one day at a time and I promise you wont be disappointed, I am only 3 months out and I feel great and I know that you will too . keep us posted on your progress and good luck my friend and congrats to you and everyone else who are taking the steps to be healthy .

[sleeveme4152 16]

This is what I needed today!!!! I feel the same way in all of those statements!!!! I am going to write my own things as you did to be a reminder to my self that I am worth this!!! I will be self pay and trying to justify the cost. thanks again

[Newsuz 8]

Thank you for putting the words down to what all of us feel. I am 69 and have been heavy all of my life, I finally decided to do something about it and I am scheduled for my sleeve on 10/8. I just want to be able to live life without pain. Newsuz

[oceanbreeze 17]

I think we all have/had these fears and still have some. But I gotta tell you - my list was like yours before I had VSG surgery on July 9 - not too long ago. And I am down 40 pounds and feeling great. It was tough at first, but I totally stuck to the program and feeling SO GREAT now. And the best part....all those fears have been trumped by feeling in control and hopeful for the first time in many years. So happy I did it. I wish you peace and success.

[itsnaynay 6]

Good luck on a new adventure, a new life and a new you! Great way to spread your story!

[Thinthoughts 23]

Thanks for posting! Sums things up perfectly.

[macman 603]

I think what you have listed coincides with many of my pre surgery feelings. Many of us were where you are. My only advice is to turn your list of feelings into motivation to be successful. It can be a powerful thing! The toughest part of this entire journey is mental. You will be in ruts, stalls and at times be frustrated and doubting the decision. The willing commitment to follow through on your personal reasons for doing this ill get you to where you want to be

[Sleevarilla 169]

Well said. I needed to read this today! Best of luck on your journey!