Ugh my Mother!

[Cassiopeia 9]

I am debating not even telling my mom for this very reason. She is so intrusive and rude and at 125 pounds her whole life, knows nothing about obesity or what living this life is like.

that being said, i understand your pain completely. I would hate for something to happen to be god forbid and she didnt know, but in all honesty i am all set with her drama.

now that she knows the cat is out of the bag. i would just change the subject and make it clear your eating choices and lifestyle changes are not up for debate.

[KrissySMD 38]

I had my surgery in June and my Mom is still making me nutty. My hubby and Dad are really supportive. But my Mom and Sister-in-law drive me batty. Both are very overweight and know I have struggled for so long. But it's like this was a personal attack on them that I had this surgery and am losing. I've been having some problems with vomiting here and there and when my daughter (who is 10 and totally proud of me) says anything to my Mom about how worried she is when I'm not feeling well gets "Well your Mom made a bad decision and now needs to live with it." Nice, huh? I have learned to shrug it off instead of blowing up. And my daughter has stopped saying anything to Grandma because she herself supports me.

If you have to keep them out of it. DO IT! Make your life easier and don't let others get you stressed or discouraged!

Best of luck to you!

[ready2B 263]

Oh, wow, Krissy! What a horrible thing for your mom to say to your daughter! And very uninformed. I am glad your daughter sees through that and is supportive. Can you imagine how awful it would be for her if she didn't understand how things work and thought you were going to have to "live with" something terrible the rest of your life? What a cruel fear to try to plant in a child's head.

That's exactly the sort of ignorant statements I want to avoid. In my family, because we've all been very obese, there's a weird dynamic of competition when anyone does lose weight. I had lost a bunch a few years ago and my sister wrote me a nasty email saying she was really upset that she wouldn't be the smallest one at family gatherings anymore! (She wasn't anyway, but whatever!) Although they can all say very derogatory things about each others' weight, they also don't like it when someone is successful in losing because it highlights their own weight problem more. One of those "misery loves company" things or "if you want to feel thinner, make everyone around you fatter." Is it any wonder my family is all obese with that sort of dysfunction? It's really crazy and I am so done playing that game with them!

[#9grammy 274]

I wish I could tell my mother. She has dementia and wouldn't remember 2 min later what I said :-(

Even before the. Dementia I could've told her and she would've been happy. She has gastric bypass in 1978, lost enough weight that she looked healthy. Never had the money to have plastics though. To this day her surgery hasn't been good to her.. Back then they didn't know eat Protein drink Water, was just surgery and your done. Her hair has gone, she has the dumping a lot and doesn't understand why. Her health is so bad, I'm glad we've come farther in the study of wls that we know how to take care of ourselves now.

Good luck to all...

[Monasongbird_38 73]

OKay I have a rant as I'm preparing for my upcoming surgery. I told my mom about the surgery well because I didn't think it was fair to going into surgery and not tell your parents. Maybe I was wrong. Ever since I told her about it she has been driving me crazy. I live in Florida, she in Illinois. She calls and the conversation always goes to the surgery. I have been on my weight management for a couple months and actually meet the last time Friday. She always says "are you still eating your six small meals? Are you losing weight? Why don't you just keep doing that? OMG I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!! So I was adopted and my mom, her sister, my cousins are all small. All have weighed 130 or less pounds their whole life. Small hands wear size 4 1/2 and 5 rings, etc. when I was in high school I weighed top weight 150. Now I'm 5'6" and I was in gymnastics and cheer. According to my mom 150 was too much and by the time I graduated senior year and having my mom make my food for me and that's all I could eat I weighed 123. I wish I was 150 and maybe just maybe I will return to that weight. I'm going to have this surgery....but why does she drive me so crazy about it? I can't lose weight on a diet. I have been on everyone out there and have spent millions on diets. Get over it Mom. Okay rant over.......

I can relate. ..my husband and I have decided to tell our families that I am having my gallbladder removed just for this reason. ...In a way I feel guilty for not being open. ..but really.....Do we have to tell our families everything? I question myself all the time about this topic. ..but when I think of being 2, 3, 4,5, months post op and back to 130 lbs.... I know it will be worth it...and if something goes wrong we will worry about it then..... Btw...We're not revealing my surgery date until the day before. ....

Edited September 23, 2014 by Monasongbird_38

[Monasongbird_38 73]

Sounds like they don't want you to be happy....