Why are we overweight, anyway?

[BarnGirlWK 98]

Hi there

I have tried many, many, many weight loss methods since I was 19 years old (the first time I joined Weight Watchers, but not the first time I was 'fat'). That's 30 years of the weight loss insanity

And while I had success on many of them (temporary success, obviously), the one thing that was never addressed was "Why am I overweight in the first place?"

Weight loss programs focus on losing weight. Some of them have a 'keeping it off' element, but not many do. So, the focus is on reacting to the symptoms rather than causes (starting where it started with the weight gain).

Why did the weight gain start? Is it ALL because of lack of willpower or self-control? Is it because of genetics? Is it emotions? Hormones? Why are some people predisposed to putting weight on when others face similar situations and are not so predisposed? Why is weight loss so hard to maintain?

I doubt very much that I'm overweight because I'm lazy, don't try hard enough, can't control myself, etc. Which are easy judgements from people who have never had a weight issue.

I look forward to your posts.

[Recycled 2,182]

"Why am I overweight in the first place?"

Use any analogy you want but the bottom line is.........Everyone has their own individual metabolism. Put more food in than you burn and you will gain. Put in alot more in and you will become obese. Throw in an uncooperative brain and it seems impossible to overcome.

Along comes the sleeve. It does it's part by helping to control the amount. But the brain is up to us. Believe it or not, it can be changed too. Good luck

[BarnGirlWK 98]

I'll get my two cents in here.

For me, weight loss is emotional. Very emotional. It is personal.

I recognize that we're all different. But we are all human beings. We all started perfect, normal, ideal.

I'm not even consciously aware of when I started to gain weight. I was not a heavy child. I was a normal weight child. I believe I am not meant to be heavy. I do recall my 16th birthday and being appalled to realize that I had nothing to wear that made me look good for an evening out.

In our household, junk food was not allowed. Babysitters hated coming to our house. Yes, I had tasted soda pop and potato chips and chocolate. But not at our house! And it tasted good! Very, very good. And when I was 13 years old, I started babysitting, and had some of my own money. Guess what I bought with it? That's right. Junk food.< /p>

I was also an emotional person. Still am. And I was never close to my mother, though I dearly wanted to be. She just didn't want it. As an adult, I recognize that was her doing, not mine, but it still affected me. But I found some comfort in music and in the taboo foods. So, is that where it started? Food replacing affection?

But I saw other kids eating it. Why weren't they getting heavy? Why was I?

I actually didn't really know that my weight was not normal as a teenager. Until seeing cousins one summer who I hadn't seen since the summer before. And in greeting, the cousins happily pointed out that I "GREW"!! And then the 16th birthday with nothing flattering to wear. The other kids at school ranged in sizes, so it wasn't apparent that I was overweight. Though, there was some name-calling "Cow" in junior high. Oh, and my mother decided that she would also call me a 'big, fat, cow' whenever she was irritated (mostly at the sight of me). So, there was the stigma now. I am being likened to a cow. I got through high school all right, (though another emotional time during my parents separation and divorce), and made my first registration at Weight Watchers at age 19. I was done with being a cow.

By the way, my two sisters were not overweight at this stage.

And, yes, I lost a little weight before I gave up on the effort because I felt like I wasn't part of things. That was almost 70 pounds ago, the first time I joined Weight Watchers.

Are relationships partly to blame for gaining weight? I mentioned my relationship with my mother. And, of course, teenage siblings can be cruel. And their friends, too. Where my friends, some overweight, too, accepted me, fed me, supported me.

And go on in life to my naïve feelings for someone not being reciprocated; to no real interest shown to me by a man; to an abusive marriage, which I entered full of love; to divorce; to losses of loved ones. To where I am now.

I want to get off the cycle now. I'm ready. I don't want to have (emotional) excuses that make it okay to be overweight. I want to stop the insanity.

But I really do feel that you have to look at why you are overweight to begin with. Then you can heal. And normalize.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I'm obese (not just overweight), because I love food and hate exercise. Well, I don't HATE exercise, but I love a lot of other things WAY more than exercise, so when it comes to where I want to allocate my time, exercise is pretty far down the list.

I don't have any good excuses of childhood trauma or misplaced emotions. I've had a truly, fantastically happy life. I have the best parents in the world. Really, they are the BEST! There are not words to accurately describe how amazing they are.

I have a loving and supportive husband. I have a good job and make enough money to live comfortably.

My weight has been the only real struggle in my life. It has been a struggle from the time I was in middle school. I've always been fat, been called fat, been self-conscious about being fat, etc. Sometimes it was enough to motivate me to try to lose weight and I'm actually really good at losing weight, because I have an obsessive personality. So when I'm obsessed with losing weight, I commit to it 100% and I lose it consistently. The problem is maintenance. As soon as I'm no longer obsessed, I go straight back to eating junk and I stop exercising.

I am really really hoping that gastric sleeve will make this a lifelong commitment, and not just a temporary obsession.

[Summer Rain 245]

I was underweight growing up. I blame it all on my 3 pregnancies lol. I started gaining weight with my first pregnancy and didn't lose enough before my 2nd pregnancy...then unexpectedly but excitedly discovered that I was pregnant with my 3rd child. With 3 little kids, working full time, and a home to care for I think I just put me and my needs on the back burner. I don't think, for the most part, that laziness had anything to do with it

There are as many reasons as there are people I suppose. I just pray that this is the right tool for me and for everyone else out there contemplating WLS and those of you have already chosen this route.

Summer

[snowkitten 371]

For me the weight gain was a mix of medical and emotional. The medical prompted the emotional which prompted bad eating habits and it was a downhill effect from there. I just recently put all the peices of the puzzle together. I think KNOWING what caused my weight gain helps alot tho.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I have come to understand obesity as a disease process.

So, for whatever reason, you get overweight/obese. I think in my case it was a combination of genetics (my ancestors survived the Irish potato famines!), childhood history of abuse and a food stuffing dad.

anyway, once you are obese, your body changes. The more obese, the longer, the more advanced the disease process is and it becomes nearly impossible to maintain significant weight loss without surgery. even WITH surgery, plenty of people regain!

It is something to google... the concept of obesity as a disease process.

[BarnGirlWK 98]

I have come to understand obesity as a disease process.

It is something to google... the concept of obesity as a disease process.

I will google that, thank you CowgirlJane.

I am very impressed with your results, too. Wow! 150 pounds in 14 months, and you are maintaining below your goal weight.

I'm assuming you followed the post-op diet to a 't' and were very focussed on your goal.

How does life 150 pounds lighter feel? What are the differences between your life then and your life now?

What is your age (range)?

Thanks, again.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Yes, I'm in therapy.

But I expect that some aspects of our digitally recorded explorations into the causes of our obesity will one day be regarded as the mental agonies of the medically ill.

What if the genus of our overweight is that we have fewer or different gut flora than The Normal Ones or a combination of different genes that makes our metabolism more efficient than those of The Normal Ones or overactive brain synapses that double our appetites compared to those of The Normal Ones. Or all of the above? Or none of the above and twelve other factors instead?

Naturally, the 22nd century's best solutions for obesity will be dramatically different from the GS, VSG and Band.

And therefore, I don't think I can know what are the true causes of my overweight. In the meantime, if it makes me happy to satisfy my curiosity about my personal history, I will entertain myself.

But, ultimately, I have to build and habituate new behaviors and allow a surgeon to modify the body I was born with to impersonate The Normal Ones. Because I don't think I belong to that species.

Edited August 11, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

BarnGirl - there is no perfection, but I make substantially good choices on a regular basis... even now in maintenance. My life has changed beyond belief. I am 50 years old and look better than I have since I was 22. I feel great, I can hike, ride horses like a demon and no longer feel so top heavy and off balance. I remember I used to feel like glass... like a slip or fall would always kill my knee or leave me lame and sore for weeks. I fell off a horse a month ago and somebody said "man you bounced right back on like a teenager!" Luckily... it was soft sand.

I do have to work it though - this is no joke. The weight comes off pretty easy at first, but after I lost about 120 or so I had to really work hard to get to my goal weight. I was and remain very motivated. I hit goal in Feb 2013 and weigh about 18 less than that now... so very slowly lost those last 18 "vanity" pounds.

I still have fairly significant body pain, sadly that was not fixed by becoming trim.I think a lifetime of super morbid obesity has messed alot of my "frame" up. I have a crooked leg... not sure if that came from carrying so much weight or something else. I have large bones... can't see that from the photos, but I really do. I think that also came from being so heavy most of my life.

This is my favorite recent pic of me... those shorts are size 4 and that top is from the juniors "one size fits all". Shocks me as at one time I wore 32W pants!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

A tractor girl!

Love it, CGJ.

[BarnGirlWK 98]

BarnGirl - there is no perfection, but I make substantially good choices on a regular basis... even now in maintenance. My life has changed beyond belief. I am 50 years old and look better than I have since I was 22. I feel great, I can hike, ride horses like a demon and no longer feel so top heavy and off balance.

I do have to work it though - this is no joke. The weight comes off pretty easy at first, but after I lost about 120 or so I had to really work hard to get to my goal weight. I was and remain very motivated. I hit goal in Feb 2013 and weigh about 18 less than that now... so very slowly lost those last 18 "vanity" pounds.

This is my favorite recent pic of me... those shorts are size 4 and that top is from the juniors "one size fits all". Shocks me as at one time I wore 32W pants!

Well, I'm a little younger than you are. I was NOT a chubby kid. I was of normal weight right up to about 14 years old. And I have only been 'this heavy' for about 6 years.

I guess I'm trying to ward off any of those ailments. And others. There are days that my body hurts so much (from exercise the day before) that it is hard to find a pain-free way out of bed in the morning. Carrying extra weight affects my ankles a lot, my knees somewhat, and my hips somewhat. Especially during exercise.

I do hike at this weight, too. And I'm going to ride horses again when I'm at my goal. I'm a city girl, but I can find horses to ride. I'm part of the chuckwagon community here in Alberta. I'm around horses plenty, just don't ride them.

The picture is one I would be proud of, too. Size 4 shorts and a junior's one size fits all top. Woo-eee! You look like you've never had a weight issue. And I see no excess skin. What did you do with it?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I had plastics - lower body lift, arm lift, boob job and a "small" thigh lift. i still have excess thigh skin but I can live with it.

The picture of me standing next to the horse is what I looked like with no Shapewear, weighing about 150 ish (about 10# more than the tractor photo) - pre plastics. I had a bit of a melted snowman look about me didn't I? However, shapewear completely hid that so I okay without plastics too - I just love having a normal looking body without the shapewear!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Ann, i read your comments on the mysteries of "why me?" I find it a puzzle that I am able to eat more and more and maintain still. Like - why aren't I regaining? I do eat healthy, no junky or fast food. I think that something changes once you get rid of the excess fat. i remember doing weight watchers and was freaking starving but couldn't get under about 240. Like, wow, this is as small as I get?

It is a mystery to me, but like success breeds success... best I can tell is that "fat breeds fat". this is a simple way of thinking about obesity as a disease process - with the help of the sleeve I got my body fat to a reasonable percentage and then it seems to be easier to maintain versus experiences in the past where I never got to goal and ALWAYS bounced right back up.

what my surgeon told me at my 1 year check up is to never forget i still have the disease of obesity, I am just managing the symptoms well right now. That has been a very "clarifying" way for me to think of maintenance. i used to think of weight loss as something you did.. you got to goal... and then lived happily ever after. HA. no, it doesn't quite work that way. I still post and read here as I consider myself still on the "weight management" journey even at goal. Maybe in some ways the support is even more important now that I am at goal.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I am not sure why I was morbidly obese, other than I ate more than I burned. I like what VSGAnn said that maybe it's something we are missing that normal people have. I had a great childhood and life, so I can't blame it on that. I'm pretty balanced mentally, so I can't blame it on that (though I am a stress eater!). I think there is no one cause, I think it's a variety of things, including genetics, diet, activity and other unknown variables that come together as a perfect storm. I also think (actually, I know), that I don't lose 1 pound when I decrease my calorie intake by 3500. I also know gain several pounds if eat 2000 calories more over the period of a week. So, who knows. I'm just happy to have a sleeve, and have gained some insight about this and my body.

Obesity is absolutely a disease state, as CGJ mentioned, and having lost weight simply puts us in a well managed state. Stop being compliant, and we know what happens. Right back to where we started. Having been able to lose the weight quickly, and honestly WAY easier than ever before, gave me a jump start. Now I have to watch it all the time, but at least I'm in a good spot while I continue to be diligent.