Being a fat lady at a skinny gym...

[mi75 1,235]

hey everyone, i saw the surgeon today and he says i am doing AWESOME!!! when i asked about working out, he said "join a gym tomorrow".

there is a great gym in my town, about 4 miles from my house. they even have child care for my little one and classes for my tween to try, including a pool and swim lessons!

i really like it there and took a tour of it last year when i was considering joining then. but.........

this gym seems really full of REALLY thin and fit people. i'm still a VERY big person. i have issues about being around people socially simply due to my weight. i just feel like in public, everyone is noticing my weight. at a gym, well i think it would be worse. they open at like 4am so i have even thought of going there at 5 and working out when, hopefully, the attendance is minimal...

HOW do i get over being a fat lady a a skinny gym?

[une nouvelle vie 327]

You just go. I'm 100 pounds more than you are right now and I just pay attention to me and me only. Luckily my gym is ladies only so I feel people are there to work out and not be seen by the opposite sex, but you have to believe that they're paying more attention to themselves (as they should!) than they are to you.

Do it because in the long term, to be successful, we need to incorporate exercise into our lives. Do it because you value YOU more than what they think of you because truthfully, they probably won't think much about you either way

[swimbikerun 1,045]

Girlfriend listen to me:

Your money is the SAME size and color as those skinny people.

You know how they got skinny and stay that way? By not caring what some other person with a hangup has and getting in there and working it!

You will have role models in front of you to keep motivated.

I didn't care. I was in a gym for college age people. I got out there walking and then cheering on any one else larger. I then kept working it until I was down girlfriend ...

do not under any circumstances, after you've come this far, let someone with a small mind interrupt your Quest to be healthier.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

That is a problem you will have even when you reach your goal. you will not see yourself for who you really are for sometime. That is the nature of the beast!

Surprisingly though the people at the gym are not looking at you. Most of them are busy trying to get in shape or stay in shape. Most people are not looking around. And if they do, most of them applaud you for coming.

35 lbs down nothing to sneeze at I would say..Hold your chin up. Get your bag together and get there and work it girl! You deserve to be healthy. just like anyone of those people at that gym. Who knows you might inspire others as they see you working out because you are doing this and making changes for yourself no one else!!!!

35 lbs of butter on the kitchen table is a remarkable accomplishment......Go, do it and think about the fact that you are 35 lbs smaller then you were when you started this journey! Kick ass!

[snochick2005 172]

Like RJ said, almost everyone is focused on themselves and their workout. The cardio machines at the Y have TVs in them, so people are watching those as they do their cardio... If they aren't watching the TV, they are listening to music... Lifting weights, people are focused on their form...

Personally, I felt the exact same way as you. I thought everyone would stare at the fat girl and wonder why i was even bothering... I couldn't join a gym until I had lost over 100lbs. Boy do I regret that! Once I started going I realized no one cares about anyone else (unless your on a weight machine they want). When I look around, no one else is looking around. Everyone focuses on themselves... When I see a bigger person, I'm actually jealous that they have the confidence and I didn't. Just think of how much further (or less loose skin!!) I might have if I'd started earlier...

All that said, you go and work out! You deserve to be there as much as anyone else. Have that confidence I didn't. Rock the gym!!!

[utahgirll 81]

oh hellfree i am feeling ya. if you feel a bit uncomfortable there, go to a few different gyms just to see how you feel. in my large city, we have a lot to choose from. I just remember going into a gym, wanting to put a bag over my head, overweight, and kinda crawling home. i felt best about planet fitness (10/month) as even their ads are geared toward normal folk that don't grunt as they lift weights or something. there's also curves. i also loved the idea of swimming to get in shape, so there's that. and if you have no other possibilities, take the advice of these other ladies and just DO IT. i DO want to start weight lifting, so I will be joining you at some future date.

in support,

triss

[4me4them 381]

One thing that helped me was a few sessions with a personal trainer...that way I was focused on her not the people around me. It also gave me a chance to learn gym etiquette as well as learn the types of exercises/weights I ought to be doing...which gave me confidence to go back by myself.

[Texasmeg 568]

I read one article that said one of the best indicator of whether someone will keep off lost weight is the people he or she hangs out with. Make some friends while you are there!

[pink dahlia 2,513]

You and I are the same height (5'3), and I started out almost the same weight as you. ( 225 lbs). I joined our local YMCA just before I was banded, and started 3 mornings a week , , in a fast moving swim fitness class, at 6 am . In a size 18 bathing suit. If I can do it , so can you ! It helped me lose 65 lbs , fast but healthy ! We had , and still do , ALL shapes, sizes and weights. We have one lady who has lost 100 lbs, she still shows up, probably weighs 300 still. Who cares ? Not us ! Quit worrying about what "other people " think and worrying !

[snowkitten 371]

hey everyone, i saw the surgeon today and he says i am doing AWESOME!!! when i asked about working out, he said "join a gym tomorrow".

there is a great gym in my town, about 4 miles from my house. they even have child care for my little one and classes for my tween to try, including a pool and swim lessons!

i really like it there and took a tour of it last year when i was considering joining then. but.........

this gym seems really full of REALLY thin and fit people. i'm still a VERY big person. i have issues about being around people socially simply due to my weight. i just feel like in public, everyone is noticing my weight. at a gym, well i think it would be worse. they open at like 4am so i have even thought of going there at 5 and working out when, hopefully, the attendance is minimal...

HOW do i get over being a fat lady a a skinny gym?

Does the gym have a "family" work out room? I have the same issues you do. Sever social anxiety, mainly weight related. My husband and I joined a gym which also has a family work out room. It's got the older equipment in it so barely anyone goes in there. It helps alot

[Cupcake 801]

I would focus on my health and nothing else I agree with the above statements visit a few gyms and most give free pass to grind the one for you, good luck .

[fat_free 463]

As you are on your journey you will be losing weight and if anything the people at the gym will notice this and comment you on your loses and the hard work that you are putting. They will know this because they will be seeing you at the gym too

[mi75 1,235]

thanks everyone, all great suggestions. I am also looking at the Planet Fitness in my town and my 11 yr old asked why we couldn't consider the "Y"...so we are going to tour all three this coming week and decide.

[Marathongirl 106]

Just walk in there with your head held high! You're doing something better for you and your health, who's going to judge you. And, if they do, it says way more about them than you! I went in at 320lbs, but I was doing it to make myself healthier. You can do the same. Good luck!

[mrsto 2,925]

I agree with all of the above posters. Yet, in all my years, never felt comfortable in a gym. I was okay with it during thinner times, but other times I just wouldn't put myself through the humiliation. I'm in a good place now with my weight, but still choose walking the hills over the gym. If you find that you're just too uncomfortable at this point in your journey, there are other options for exercise to get you to the point where you're not crawling out of your skin in that environment.

This post made me remember something..... Many years ago, when I was living in Los Angeles, I wanted to lose weight and get some exercise, but was too humiliated to join a regular gym. Richard Simmons had his studio close to where I lived, so I went in a took a class there......knowing that I would be around people with my same struggles. Interestingly, as heavy as I was, I was the smallest person in the room. That brought on a whole other brand of discomfort. The difference was extreme in the other direction, and I felt out of place there as well. My best successes with exercise, have been routines I setup in my own home; treadmill, free weights, etc. I'd crank up the music and go to it! And I didn't have to drive anywhere and sit on machines with someone else's sweat That's what's worked out for me over the years.....finding a place and routine where I didn't have to force myself to feel a confidence that I wasn't in a place to feel.

Edited August 11, 2014 by mrsto