What is the funniest thing you remember after surgery? Or do you have a funny experience?

[CTRose1160 136]

I am not much of a joke teller, but thought this would be a change in keeping this forum a little on the "lighter side."

Would love to hear what has happened, what you have experienced that maybe made you belly laugh..!

[Andrew0929 1,101]

My funniest moment post-op was something that happened a few months back after losing 120+ pounds. I discovered a bump under my chest on the side and my wife was pressuring me to go to the ER. I called our ins co nurse line and they said to go to the doctor if it's not gone in 2 weeks.

After hanging up I found a similar bump on the other side. When at a cardiologist appointment the next week he laughed and said that was the bottom of my rib cage.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

My funniest moment post-op was something that happened a few months back after losing 120+ pounds. I discovered a bump under my chest on the side and my wife was pressuring me to go to the ER. I called our ins co nurse line and they said to go to the doctor if it's not gone in 2 weeks.

After hanging up I found a similar bump on the other side. When at a cardiologist appointment the next week he laughed and said that was the bottom of my rib cage.

Love this !

[Kindle 8,667]

Nothing too funny for me, but funny for many others.... Apparently upon waking from surgery I had a FaceTime conversation with my sister. I sure don't remember but she said it was quite entertaining. Then my belly was so swollen she took pictures and sent them out telling everyone I got knocked up in TJ. And the creme de la creme.... I got C. diff from a dental procedure 1 1/2 months postop. This caused severe, uncontrollable diarrhea. One day at work ( I'm a vet tech) the " feeling" hit me and there was no time to get to the bathroom. I just grabbed a litter box from the cupboard and squatted. NOT a nice scene, yet highly entertaining to my work partner and anyone who heard the story ( which is most everyone in this small town). Some people still say "meow" when they see me.

[NewSetOfCurves 1,553]

Mine is similar to Andrew's story. I was lying in bed and felt a large bump at the bottom of my sternum. I called my husband crying, "There is something really wrong with me! I have this huge lump and I'm so scared!" Needless to say, I can be dramatic and start wailing about how I just started to live my new life and now I could possibly die. My husband leaves work so he can take me to the doctor. When he arrives, he says, "Let me feel it." So, I lie down and sure enough, he feels it too. He said, "Oh my gosh, this is really bad." In my shaky, tearful voice: "It is, right? I thought so too [sniffle]." My husband proceeds to feel it, looks into my eyes, smirks and then says, "Well, the good news is, you're going to live because you're officially suffering from getting to bone-y. This my dear is the tail end of your sternum, a bone and not some foreign bump that will cause you to die."

Lol!

[enjoyinglife 313]

Same story as Curvy. Called my doctor's office panicking, got seen the same day. He told me that is was my sternum.

[Bmjohnson 84]

The day of my surgery I was very weepy due to the fact that i was afraid that my liver wasnt shriveled enough for surgery (my surgery was scheduled pretty quick and i only did about 7 days of a two week high Protein diet). when I woke up after surgery I cried and asked the nurse, " Was my liver small enough?" I could hear her laughing and she said yes sweetheart you did great.

[McButterpants 2,846]

I was in the recovery room and they were trying to wake me up. I asked, "Is the surgery over?" The nurse replied, "Yes, you did great." I obviously didn't feel any different, because I said, "Are you sure I'm already done? Are you sure they performed the surgery?" She sounded a little annoyed and said, "Yes, honey, do you want to see the incisions?" My reply, "Oh my god, no, I don't want to see the incisions!"

[Steviefan1 126]

Ok, another 'funny for others' tale. My husband and son, plus my sister were all there when I came out of recovery into my hospital room. I was of-course, nearly incoherent and in between mumbles,they thought it was great sport to ask me questions. They said "It's 3:00, where have you been?" I said, "Filming General Hospital." They said, "What can you eat?" I said "Sparkle gravy." They said, "Who is coming to see you?" I said, "Jon Bon Jovi, he is coming off tour to see me." How do I know? HUSBAND TOOK A VIDEO WITH HIS PHONE!

[UPnDOWNinNY 26]

For me it was this nurse with a thick Romanian-type accent BEGGING me to "fill the container", if you catch my drift. Apparently I had to prove I could "go", before they would let me... well, go. I wanted to get out of the hospital as fast as I could but was afraid to push it because I didn't want to hurt myself.

Every time I would be in the bathroom, the nurse would knock on the door and say "How you do-ink in dere? Any-tink yet?", to which I usually responded, "that isn't really helping me, thank you."

When I finally was able to go was when she stopped trying to talk to me through the door, and as I walked out of the bathroom there she was - with three other nurses - giving me an ovation and saying "Tank God! What a good boy!". I said "Your welcome. If you have any more that need filling, just bring them in."

Edited August 8, 2014 by UPnDOWNinNY

[rose2014 81]

After surgery while in recovery I told the nurse I peed on myself. She told another nurse and they proceeded to clean me up. However, I apparently still had to pee cause I heard the nurse say "she peeing again" I was in and out from the drugs unaware of my bladder issues. When I was more alert i apologized to the nurse for peeing on her....lol

She said that was better than being pooped on. She said yes pooped on.

[terrydumont46 1,954]

love the stories. mine isn't quite like those but fellow bandsters would understand. I didn't handle my first stuck issue well. burping, flapping arms, sliming into a trash can etc. my dogs were in the room with me and got frightened seeing me do all of this. and to this day if I do even a small burp they run from the room. lol

[lisacaron 5,075]

My funny story is that I was so zonked out from anthesthia after I got to my room they wanted me to walk. So I walked down the hallway with my hubby and then I wanted to be back in my room. Instead of the bed they put me in this BIG recliner chair. It was great I was all reclined back and went right back to sleep for another 4 hours. They came along and removed the catheter and well you know...now I gotta get up to use the bathroom from all the IV fluids...but I was stuck in the recliner! I am so short that I could not reach the handle to put the foot rest down and it was so high off the floor and with my belly incisions there as no way I was even alert enough to hop down from it.

As I contemplated how long it would take someone to come into the room if I pulled off one of the leads, because the call button was clear across the room on the bed, a very very tall male nurse came to take my vitals which I wouldn't give him until he helped me out of the chair let me use the rest room and got me tucked back into my bed Then I let him take my blood pressure and temperature.

Hubs was banded 3 days after me, and I was at the hospital for him as he went for surgery. When he came out our Dr. came out to see me in the surgical waiting room and told me I should go back home and rest. Only a few moments later he and the recovery nurses came back out yelling wait don’t leave we need you in the recovery room. So I moved as fast as I could and my husband was in there screaming at them for cutting off his leg! He would not stop yelling at them that they cut off his leg and his hip was in pain.

I had to stand at the end of the bed holding his toes and ask him if he could see what I was holding and if he could feel my hand and that they didn’t cut his leg off he just had Lapband surgery!! He was finally convinced and calmed down enough for me to go home. When he had his hip replacement this past May I was ready for anything, but he woke up just fine no stress no screaming and best of all no pain!

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

I will say I don't remember the first day out of recovery , but People & Family know not to wake me up if I am sleeping ,so I guess my Surgeon & nurse's were trying to wake me up and I said a few choice words to them & my Mother was standing in the room , she told them she doesn't wake up well at least that's what my Mother told me, then of course the nurse's had to clean me ,bed, & bathroom because after they made me walk a few times things(diarrhoea) started moving & no way get up fast after any surgery.

[CTRose1160 136]

Ok here is my funny....after my surgery, I stayed at my parents house, as my mom being a nurse felt this would be best as I recovered. Ironically, my father was recovering at the same time from back surgery he had 3 weeks prior. The house essentially was more like an assisted living facility....my poor mom had her work cut out. So, here I am back at my parents house, in my old room....and my dad is down the hall resting from his surgery. Since my dad was resting this one particular day and my mom was out of the house running errands, I decided this would be a great time to take a shower. After getting cleaned up, I heard my dad in distress....so I bolted from the bathroom to my parents bedroom to check on my dad. Of course, I was not dressed covered only by a towel (barely). I was naturally scared as I really did not know what to do....my dad was having problems with his back, and all I could do was try to calm him down. As I am talking to him, my mom enters the bedroom and sees me barely covered leaning over my dad trying to help him get in a more comfortable position. Talk about feeling awkward. All a i could do is look at my mom and tell her "its not what you think....I can explain!"

Not exactly as funny as the other posts, but thought I could share....