Who did you tell about your surgery? Friends, coworkers?

[happymama2014 206]

I struggle with who I want to know about such a personal choice. At work my coworkers all eat well, work out, they are young, hip and cross fit junkies. We did a biggest loser at work and I won and I lost 50 lbs but as soon as I had a hip injury and wasnt mobile I gained it back and thats been so embarrasing because everyone I work with has seen the transformation to a healthy me and then back to the me that wears the same clothes to work all the time because nothing fits. I know they will see me losing weight again but this time will obviously be more drastic. I could not handle the input I would get from them. I did mention to one person that my Dr had said surgery may be an option for my health and I got an immediate negative response and the story of I know someone who had it and blah blah blah...anyway I go on blogs and support groups and see the positives and the negatives and with all that information I made my choice.

I know a few friends who have different types of bariatric surgery so I have told them and asked alot of questions of them. None have had the VSG though. I have a young child and I dont want him to worry about me having surgery. I know he will tell people if he knows I had surgery. So I still havent told him. I have only told a handful of people that I know will support me and not judge me or give me their OPINIONS on my health and my body. My only fear of not sharing with my son is that he will question why we dont eat the same things. In the beginning when I cant eat meals sitting with him at dinner will seem strange with no food.< /p>

Has anyone gone through and not shared with their smaller/younger children?

[bpbqueen 45]

Everyone knows about my surgery at this point. My previous employer knew about it and was ok with the time off (I had vacation saved up for it). I was laid off though the entire office was and it was closed down in June. It's amazing that once I "came out" about my surgery the number of people who have sent me private email messages telling me they've had the surgery and are offering their support if I have questions. There are some friends that don't want me to have the surgery because they're opposed to it but since they love me and support me 100% they said their piece and are behind me with my decision (gosh I love unconditional love). My family has offered to pay for my co-pay because they are so behind this decision. My husband has seen how much this is working for me and is starting his own journey to sleeving with his own insurance company. My sister who is on summer vacation from her teaching job is staying with me after surgery to care for me (my husband SUCKS at that stuff). So, I have total support.

On the flip side, I have friends who have lost friends because they are having this surgery. I have a friend who had this surgery who is losing her marriage. I have another friend who cross addicted from food to meth. So, there is a dark side to this as well. But, I know who I am, I know who my husband is and my friends and family are and I'm doing this for me, no one else.

[Jersrose43 837]

I was clear with everyone what I was doing, that it was a personal decision that was right for me and not for everyone. I don't need the negative nellies and I need supportive commentary only

[bpbqueen 45]

BTW, if you don't want to tell all the "hip" people at work, don't. It's really none of their business. If they ask how you're losing all that weight just say "eating less, exercising more." Basically, that's the truth. As for your young child, how young? I think that you could explain not eating to him as "mommy has a tummyache and has to eat special food for awhile." Children don't really need to know about their parents health and/or surgeries. They aren't really capable of processing/handling those types of things. They just want to know that mommy's ok and that she's going to stay that way. If he does ask questions I would simply say "they fixed mommies tummy."

[Westfield27 54]

I have told all of my family as well as my coworkers. Most of my coworkers are really fit and eat healthy. They all support my decision to get WLS. I have yet to run across someone who has been negative towards my decision. Well I take that back I had a cousin post a status on Facebook about it on the sly but I feel it was out of jealousy so I disregarded it. It's totally up to you and whom you feel comfortable sharing your decision with.

[knzt 69]

I have selected to tell no one, only my husband knows.

I am not even telling my children, I have had enough judgement on my weight and don't want any more. It's my choice to have my operation and no one else's business.

You just have to do what you want to do and only you can decide..

Good luck

[stacielynntate 88]

I have told everyone pretty much. Most knew I already had the band from 2008 and was switching to the sleeve. There is a group of us at work that is close and they keep me on track and have taken turns making gym dates with me so I don't have to go alone. I like having the support system and it keeps me true to the diet because so many people are cheering for me.

Now which that. Bring said do what is comfortable for you. You may start off with telling one coworker and as time goes by you may tell others.

[NewMe_2014 16]

I've told 2 coworkers and my mom. Aside from that a couple of my friends know that I'm thinking about it but they have no idea how far through the process I am. I will tell my brothers at some point either before or after the surgery. Really I don't care who knows after the surgery, but before I'm keeping pretty quiet.

I already get enough stupid comments about my twins, I don't need to add more people commenting on my decision to have WLS.

[bpbqueen 45]

OMG, the comments about twins! My friend has twins and some of the things complete strangers feel they have a right to say. I feel like I have to physically restrain her sometimes to keep her from smacking the idiots!

[jessiquoi 623]

i have told my daughter and a few close friends that do not interact with many other people in my life due to geography. i haven't told my mother yet, but i will sometime before the surgery, as she will KILL me if i don't tell her i'm having surgery lol, and will do nothing but worry from the day i tell her until the day i come home from the hospital, so she only gets a small window to know before it happens. i am telling the people at work that i am having surgery (not specific at all), and they are not questioning too much because my health has been deteriorating the last two years, with myriad of problems.

what will i do after the surgery when the weight (hopefully) falls off? i'm not sure. i'm used to being an advocate of anything i believe in, and have always tried to educate people about my personal choices (breastfeeding, diabetes care, etc). this is different, somehow. i'm just not sure yet.

whatever you decide, you will handle it the right way for you.

[BetterNai88 54]

i have told my daughter and a few close friends that do not interact with many other people in my life due to geography. i haven't told my mother yet, but i will sometime before the surgery, as she will KILL me if i don't tell her i'm having surgery lol, and will do nothing but worry from the day i tell her until the day i come home from the hospital, so she only gets a small window to know before it happens. i am telling the people at work that i am having surgery (not specific at all), and they are not questioning too much because my health has been deteriorating the last two years, with myriad of problems.

what will i do after the surgery when the weight (hopefully) falls off? i'm not sure. i'm used to being an advocate of anything i believe in, and have always tried to educate people about my personal choices (breastfeeding, diabetes care, etc). this is different, somehow. i'm just not sure yet.

whatever you decide, you will handle it the right way for you.

Mostly everyone knows at work, I work in a call center environment so I'd rather them know the truth from me opposed to the rumor mill flying. My immediate family knows and are very supportive my mom had the bypass done a few years ago so that helps.

[jennbrook87 1]

I've told some co workers, my best friends, and my family and for the most part they have been supportive. Most people say I look like I'm 180 but I'm really 240. The way I look makes them question my need for surgery. In the end it's my decision and I'll do as I please.

Most people ask me if I've read up on it. Basically I've made it my obsession and made sure I have the best doctor. My only wish now is I could take him with me so when they ask about the risk he can tell them "well I can tell you what I've read in books but I've never had first hand experience with a complication". Talk about reassuring.

[jennbrook87 1]

Oh and by telling my co-workers I found a sleeve buddy who is having hers on the same day in the same hospital by the same doctor! It's a small world after all!

[swtpea637 33]

I've had the same issue .... I've been called daddy's lil fat girl all my life and I'm just done with the chat that they say are jokes .. it's only a joke when both are having fun...so i'm not telling anyone but my mom and my sister...my kids know (they're adults)and only 2 people at work know....I just don't want to hear the comments...it's my decision and i'm the one that will have to live the life I chose to live....I'm not sure what to tell people when the weight starts dropping but I guess I'll take advice from the posts I read :-)

Thanks everyone for their posts....it really helps a lot of people

[derin 1]

A few people know. When I'm a month out I will make a general announcement to friends that I made the weight loss decision right for me. Those who know already are extremely supportive. Not a negative word has been expressed. My support group at Emory Johns Creek Hospital in Georgia is top on my list, along with, of course, my family.