surgery date 9/3 and strange thoughts

[salem244 7]

After a year and a half of trying to get this to happen I went last week and the surgeon gave me the date of 9/3. I am going for all the pre-op work on August 11 and start the liver shrink diet on the 20th. My first reaction to the surgery date was very positive and I was upbeat. I want this because of my health and want to live longer to be with my daughter as she grows up. My husband died 6 years ago and it has been hard. The surgeon told me that because of my age (65) I would be in ICU one night. Even that did not bother me. I figured that way I would be well cared for. I know I am an emotional eater and started to think about the emotions I might have after surgery and could not mask with food. Then it dawned on me that I have my using my fat body as some sort of shield and protection. I thought I could hide behind my fat body. Now I think about being thinner and am scared. Who in the world would I be if thinner and what if I still have this need for protection and shield and my shield would be gone. Has anyone gone through any thoughts like this? I see a therapist and am going to discuss this, but I wanted to know from you guys if this kind of thinking you have experienced. My anxiety level is certainly rising. Thanks Salem244

[ambpete 26]

I think we have all felt like you more times than we would like to admit. You have made the decision to be healthier and be around for your family. It took me as many years as you to wake up and realize that food was not my friend. I too am an emotional eater. I eat when i'm happy, when sad. I would eat when bored, whenever. Food was my crutch for everything happening life. I woke up 7 months ago and decided it was my time at age 68. My surgery was July 8, 3 weeks ago today. And I couldn't be happier. Down 25 pounds since surgery and 38 0verall. My knees aren't hurting, and I can move around with more energy. Go for it and you too will find the freedom and happiness you deserve. When those pounds start dropping and your aches and pains start to disappear, you will forget about the walls you had up to protect you. It is a big decision. but you will be so glad you you did it. Good luck on your journey and please keep me posted.