So mad at myself

[snowkitten 371]

I have my surgery date set (Aug 25th) so my journey will begin soon, but as i look at everyones weight loss success i cant help being mad at myself for getting to this size. I hovered around 270's for YEARS. I thought that was huge and then in the last 2 years i shot up to 360. I cant believe i let myself gain that much, I always thought it would be impossible to lose 100+lbs so i got fed up with dieting and feeling guilty for every bite i took and let myself indulge. 5lbs turned into 10lbs which quickly turned into 100lbs! Now i have 200+ lbs to lose and id give anything to only have to lose 100lbs!! I am so mad at myself for that. Sorry for the rant, but i had to get that off my chest. Now hopefully I can forgive myself and move on.

[chrisrn 11]

I hear you! But this step is taking you to a new level- you are taking control of your life and moving forward!!! New beginnings!!!! I was sleeved 7/16/14 saw my md today and lost 15 lbs since surgery. Exciting time in my life and yours , gotta move forward let the past go!!

[snowkitten 371]

I hear you! But this step is taking you to a new level- you are taking control of your life and moving forward!!! New beginnings!!!! I was sleeved 7/16/14 saw my md today and lost 15 lbs since surgery. Exciting time in my life and yours , gotta move forward let the past go!!

Yes that's exactly what I'm hoping to do. Congrats on your loss! That's awesome

[ready2getgoing 41]

Don't beat yourself up - what's in the past is in the past and you cannot change it - focusing on that you did or could have done wont change anything.

You are moving in the right direction now and that's what matters.

Look ahead to your surgery, getting prepared and focus on dong the right things moving forward to get to your goals.

Edited July 28, 2014 by ready2getgoing

[Comeflywithme 402]

Don't look back, it's behind you. Look forward -- with lots of excitement! I felt the same but took the right road -- the WLS road almost 3 months ago and couldn't be happier, don't remember feeling this "healthy, light and happy" ever!! And I've only lost 1/2 of my weight so far. Life is giving you this second chance at "making it right" so don't dwell on the past, just focus on your beautiful, happy and healthy, low weight future. Good Luck! Stay positive!!! It's all worth it!

[mom2bubsnboo 2]

you are doing what is best....only you can control it now..........don't beat yourself over the past.. pick up and move forward.. tomorrow is a new day.... look at it as YOU being in control now.........that is how I am going to look at it when I get mine done.... I only have myself to blame if I don't stick to it...........you CAN do it.........

I feel your pain. I have never been this heavy (245) either. Not during either of my pregnancies.... so instead I am choosing to do the surgery and making myself accountable for it after it's done...........don't be mad at yourself... find the positive and make the change..............here to help you! have a great day!

[snowkitten 371]

You all are very right. Thank you for all the positive thoughts and encouragement. I will make the most of my new lease on life.

[elfnow 277]

I started at 392, hon. And I haven't been below 259.5 since I was 18 (I'm almost 36, so HALF MY LIFE).....

I also didn't think I'd get "too far over 300" but didn't have a scale, got pregnant, ate All The Pie.... And there you have it. I could barely waddle, had a hard time wiping my own butt (wouldn't admit that except to anonymous strangers, hah)

I nudged a few pounds off between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2013, and my surgery got scheduled for 2/10/14 with a pre-surgery check in on 1/27 (also the day I started my liver reduction diet).... On 1/27 I weighed 375. I was fitting into a size 28, kind of.

On 2/10 I weighed 355 (20 lbs in two weeks, but 1000 cals a day will do that).....

It's been exactly 6 months since I started the liver reduction diet ... And not every day has been perfect of course, there are plateaus and drops and more plateaus....

But today I weigh 257. That's 118 lbs in 6 months. My size-20 jeans are getting loose. I bought myself two very glamorous dresses in size 14-16 and they fit delightfully. I have gone from 3x t-shirts to XL or L. And still going.

I have 87 pounds to go.

My thighs sag like a shar-pei puppy now and you know what? I freakin flaunt it. My belly sags and if I lean forward and tighten my abs, my belly creases from top to bottom. Weird. My lower belly looks like a butt. And I have promised myself a bikini at 250.... Not a "flattering two-piece suit" no a freaking bikini because I have earned it.

You can do this.... Surgery will HELP.... And you can step into a more aware, more mindful way of eating. Because now it matters!!! Now you are stepping into being SOMEONE, not hiding behind food anymore..... and you will LOVE the changes that happen in your body.