BID...Anyone?

[tracew 2]

Hey guys....

Just a little about me and then hopefully you will give me your opinions. I was banded in January of 2004. Since then I have managed to lose 125 lbs, run a triathalon and change my eating life forever.

Here is my quandry! I am struggling with BID...commonly known as Body Image Disorder. When I look in the mirror I see that woman of 125lbs ago. I don't see the new me. I only see what still needs to be done, I see the surgery that I am going to have to go through to fix what I have done. There are times that I think that I haven't done the best thing for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I am a super up person, I love life, I have friends that I care about and a gorgeous family and partner. But when I look in the mirror I don't see the reward that the people see when you are at the grocery store. When people say OMG you look awesome, I find it hard to believe.

I had an amazing person say to me one day when I phoned crying about how I look in the mirror. Kids okay? Yes I said. Your honey okay? Yes I said. Mom okay? Yes I said.....Well then what the hell are you doing looking at yourself naked in the mirror. I haven't done that since the kids were born. She really is a pet.

Bottom line and final question is this....does anyone else feel this way? Thanks for lending and ear....you guys all rock!

[Big As Life 0]

lol...your friend sounds like a real hoot...she gave you good advice...don't look at the negative...focus on the good....I know what you mean about body image disorder....but...I bet you look really good...don't worry about what is not perfect...Just enjoy being thinner....

Di

[tracew 2]

Thanks nice advice....I am the eternal optimist when it comes to everything but me....lmbo...thanks and btw she is a hoot...everyone should have one of her! POPT

[Mommy0105 0]

I can relate to what you are feeling. To date I have lost a little over 80 pounds. While I am relatively happy with the clothed me, I am still horrified at the naked me. In fact, I tell my husband that a big part of me believes I looked better naked when I was 200+ pounds. Part of me says "Who cares what you look like naked. Your husband is the only one who see you that way and he doesn't mind." But I care anyway.

I went bathing suit shopping for the first time in a few years and left feeling disgusted. The lack of top support left my chest looking disgustingly flat in 95% of the suits I tried on. And a skirt or short bottomw were a must.

While I don't regret the surgery, I do lament on the fact that I now have sagging breasts (need a good push up bra 24/7) and loose skin on my stomach. A great deal of my disappointment over this comes from the fact that I was so worried about it happenning that I seriously hit the gym doing cardio and weight training for 2 hrs a day 5-6 days a week in an effort to minimize the whole loose skin thing.

I have my eyes set on a breast job and a Tummy Tuck after I maintain my weight loss and have baby #2, but the truth is, purse strings are beyond tight, so I doubt I will ever be able to afford or justify spending that kind of money on myself.

So yes, I can relate to you on some level...

[tracew 2]

Yepp I hear ya. My hubby and I are kayakers...bathing suits and gear are a definite part of my life and I dread it. I am sure you look awesome and your hubby is your greatest support, but I am in a new relationship of 9 months. He is the absolute best man alive, but I still think sometimes...what does he really think...you know? He loves me for my heart and my mind he says...I say I am the luckiest woman alive to have him....thanks for the post....POPT

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I think I understand because I am going through something similar.

I have lost 60lbs and while I know I fit in seats better, my clothes haven't fit in ages and I have purchased several different sizes since I started losing, people notice I have lot weight... I'm not seeing it. I look at myself and see every single bit of my original 252lbs.

I don't see how I possibly have anything less than 100 pounds to lose from this point. My head tells me that is not right, my eyes tell me something completely different.

[Marimaru 7]

I do okay looking in the mirror. I can see that my stomach is smaller (yes, I hate the skin, but I try to focus on that it's smaller and what I can see that it doesn't cover anymore), etc, but when I look down at my thighs, when I am sitting in a chair or something, I feel like I'm still 280 lbs. I also hate that if I am laying down and lift my leg up in the air it looks great, but when I stand up my thighs sag and make my knees look fat.

One thing that I think we need to remember though, is that there are people who are skinny who look at themselves naked in the mirror and hate their bodies as much as we hate ours, just in different ways.

My fiance told me last night there was a huge difference in my body and gave me a big hug. It's stuff like that which lets me know I am doing okay despite what I still don't like.

Look at your feet, and your hands, and look for your collar bones n' stuff like that. That's what I love looking at.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

I'm so glad you brought this up. As much as we try to tell ourselves that we're not alone, it certainly feels that way when you're looking into the mirror and your mind interprets what you see differently than what is really there.

I've had BID since..........well forever. When I was 285lbs, I knew I was fat but I had no idea how big I really was until some horrid person showed me a photograph of myself. It was then that I decided I couldn't live that way anymore.

Now that I'm 197, I know I'm less. I feel less. I feel good. I can see it when I look down despite the sagging boobs and loose skin on my belly or between my thighs. But when I look in the mirror it's just not the same as when I see myself in photos.

I've learned not to think too much about it and focus on my clothing size, how it fits and how well I'm moving. Because I can move so much better now than I did when I was bigger.

I agree with the others. As far as naked, who cares what I look naked as long as my husband is still interested. Although I must admit I'm a little repulsed by my own sagging belly skin.

[tracew 2]

Yepp girlies....thats exactly what I mean....my guy rocks and he is interested.....the skin and boobs and thighs can all be fixed....its my heart that needs to realize that all the work I have done is a reward...not to my detriment!! you guys are the best....POPT

[kim2bhealthy 3]

Wow! I could pluck paragraphs from each of your posts, you guys are completely echoing my thoughts as of late... How in the world did I let myself get to 317 lbs... my skin is stretched and oh... the stretch marks. If I knew then what I know now... I definitely have a breast lift, lower body lift and arm work in my future. I've worked out a lot and drink tons of Water, but my skin has been stretched out my entire life.

I get compliments on a daily basis "your melting away" or "wow I didn't recognize you, you look like a totally different person" or "you don't need to lose 50 more pounds", etc. I can feel it in my clothes (I've gone from a 26 to a 14/16,), but when I look in the mirror I don't see everything that I have accomplished in the last year, I see the things that still need to be fixed. I'm definitely not happy when I look in the mirror.

[tracew 2]

Thats funny cause I get the same comments...you have 30 more lbs to loose? Really? I am like yeah ya think...lol. :fish: Lower body lift....foooo sure.....other than that....I am not sure I want to go through all that pain. But the tummy for sure. POPT

[tracew 2]

http://broadbandsports.com/node/6215 BTW...if you go to this link...I am the chick in the kayak...lmbo..it was super fun.

[NaturalBeauty 2]

You ladies have echo'ed everything I feel from day to day. I to workout like a crazy woman, 6 days a week 1 hour of cardio & several evening doing strength training & more cardio. My family thinks I'm crazy and sometimes I have to wonder myself.

The hanging skin makes me feel like I haven't lost a pound but I know I have. When I go into a store & look at Medium size tops & 10/12 jeans & slacks I just don't know how I'm going to get into them but I do. My hubby is the best, he tells me everyday how sexy I look & I look at him like he has 6 heads. What is he seeing that I am not, I just don't know.

I think we have had bad images of our bodies for so long that we don't know how to embrace the positive. We still look for the negative things that still need work. Even with PS (which I can't afford) will I ever be happy? I really don't know. I am hoping that this is a work in process and that I will eventually get better.

Best wishes goes out to all of us who deal with this issue. I will say it's good to know that I am not alone. Thanks for this thread.

[ginger3151 0]

I maybe wrong, but you all need to focus on the POSITIVE - you have lost the weight, we are able to be active, enjoy life and not feel as bad as you did when you were heavier - - I have to admit I'm not there yet, but every pound I loose is a blessing and my way of getting back to the way I was. I'm sure I'll have to deal with the excess skin, I know that, it's part of loosing weight, but for me when the weight goes, so does the medication, the disgust I feel towards myself and maybe, just maybe my great sense of humor and love of life will come back!! Yea right now I'm so down on myself, that I would change places with any of you!! Sorry - I'm not trying to preach, but I would love to know what it's like to loose 80 to 100 lbs.

[NaturalBeauty 2]

Ginger you will know what it's like to lose a 100lbs based on your weight lost goal. I do understand that we should focus on the accomplishments & not the negative factors but for some of us, it's what we have done all our lives & as easy as you think it is, you will find out that it's not that easy.

Please take no offense to what I have said, it's just the truth for most of us. You may be the exception to the rule.