Judgement issues over low BMI

[Zane's Mom 184]

Hello. I have posted several times and love this forum but I have never posted my stats until now.

Sleeved 6/17 highest weight and preop diet weight 190 current weight 167 goal 140.

My decision: I knew I was self pay because of my low bmi and lack of insurance covering this. I went in thinking lapband was my only option but changed to sleeve because of the anxiety I had over fills and slips etc with the band. I had horrible labs, ridiculous high numbers in so many areas, hiatal hernia and ulcers on my stomach.

My family is super supportive and they are so excited to me to get healthy and active.

I have not told many that I had WLS. Wokers know I had the hernia repair. I am kind of glad the weight has not been dramatic because it can easily say I'm living healthier and the weight is coming off. I've only lost 4 pounds since June 25th.

So ... Does this anger others? Is there judgement that I did something radical because I had the money. I feel it in a way. Now I look at overweight people and think, oh my god this is so life changing ... Everyone should be getting this done.

What do you honestly think?

Backstory for me. But 99% of people do not know: I am 43 and my husband am I have 10 kids together. He had 3 I had 2 we had 1 and we have adopted 4. We have 4 at home, 1 grown, 15, 6, 6, 5. My biological son was murdered 5/22/2011. He was 18 and victim to a senseless robbery. I have been through 2 trials and under the care of a psychiatrist with 3 daily meds to keep my life stable. And yes with all of that going on I have these small adopted children in my home. Since his death I have gained and gained with failed diet after another.

I know I have to raise these kids for the next 15 plus years as healthy mentally and physically as possible. That has been my motivation.

But .... If you didn't know that, which most don't, is there judgement.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

I'm so sorry to hear of your son's death. I came *very* close to losing my 4-year-old daughter and still don't think I would know just how awful this must be for you!

I respect people that take charge of their life, helping themselves live longer. I don't care at all where people start weight-wise. I also applaud your generosity, love and commitment for your adopted kids!

Taking away the burden of being heavy should help you take care of current health problems, avoid future ones, and make it easier on you physically so you'll have an easier time moving around and turning the bend on getting going again.

All power to you!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

As for the 'judgement'? You'll get (or shouldn't get) any judgement from anyone on here!

You recognised an issue, you made an executive decision to sort it, you have sorted it and now you're in a much better position, physically, to look after the kids you have brought into your home to love and care for.

I would turn off your 'paranoia' switch- because frankly - you, my love, have nothing to reproach yourself for.

You're a legend

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Nope. No judgment.

[skylarkx 69]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Good for you for doing something for yourself. You deserve it! You sound like a very giving person and I'm glad you are giving this to yourself. I for one wish I had done this before my BMI was so high. I am self pay also. God bless you!

[LumpySpacePrincess 594]

I've seen the judgement in other places, people saying they can't understand why someone would get this surgery if they are under 200. The thing is, people who are under 200 or close it it can struggle just as much with weight loss as those of us who started out super morbidly obese. The mechanism of losing weight doesn't get easier just because you're smaller!

You know what's best for your body, others probably don't. You know yourself better than anyone on the planet, and I'm sure you made the right decision for you. We don't let other medical issues like cancer or diabetes spiral out of control before we take care of them, so why should you do that with your weight?

I say good on you for taking control of your life before you end up like me: super morbidly obese and miserable. I wish I had done this surgery in my 20's when I was still close to 200!!

[Zane's Mom 184]

Thank you everyone. I needed a little perspective. I am glad I did this for myself. I am so thankful for this site. Bless you all and much success to everyone.

[fat_free 463]

No judgement what so ever. In fact, you are the stronger one for taking the bull by the horns and dealing with your weight early on instead of waiting till you were 100+ lbs overweight. It is a terrible tragedy that you lost your son in such a senseless crime. My heart goes out to you.

[Pkdvm 175]

My deepest sympathy for your loss. I lost a son to cancer in 2012, so I know what that pain feels like.

You made the best decision for yourself, it is your body and your life and you get to decide what will give you the best chance at living the healthiest life. I wish you success and peace.

[50lbstogo 10]

Very sorry for your loss.

As horrifying as that must be, we have a lot in common. I am 35 with 4 biological children. )1,3,6,9

I was sleeved on 6/30

Starting weight 186

After 17 days I was 170 ( I'm not gonna weigh in for. Few more days)

My bmi was 30

I too did cash pay and insurance covered my hiatial hernia repair.

I only told a neighbor that I am super close too and my husband. I hope to never let the secret out to family. They don't have the education about our process and I feel like even if I was blue if the face explaining how tough this has been they will still think it was the easy way out for me. I agree I seen heavy people everywhere an don't understand how they haven't had this done yet

[JCP 619]

Anyone who judges you is not worth a second thought. May God comfort and bless you and your entire family and your dear son who has passed. What a special pair you and your husband are. Be proud of yourself. You deserve it.