Social Life - Need Help from Veterans!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I might have some tough Gator Tail in the freezer LOL!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I might have some tough Gator Tail in the freezer LOL!

His word.. 'that's a'ight, I can slow cook it, or fry it!'

Love ya, baby x

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

i seriously think you should stop stop wasting so much time and mental energy on what others might think or notice. really, no one cares!! you are the only one obsessed with what you eat. for real. even if someone notices, so what? shrug and ask them how their meal is.

the more you lie the harder it will be to maintain the lie. the best way to not talk about it is to not talk about it. dont create stories, just dont engage others about it.

let it go. dont assume others really care that much about what you are eating. they dont, they are too busy thinking about themselves.

Edited July 21, 2014 by moonlitestarbrite

[InfiniteButterfly 438]

I think a lot of people here have hit the nail on the head: very few people will pay attention to what you're eating or drinking. It's not a bad thing to consider your choices before you get into any of these situations though. I know I always work better when I'm mentally prepared with what I'm going to do/say in a given situation.

But one of the other suggestions was right on point (I was going to suggest it myself): can you take the food component out of some of the social gatherings? You've described your friends as being fit and active, so suggesting a hike or bicycle ride, even a walk around the park, would not be amiss. And if you're trying to live a healthier lifestyle, it's not unexpected that you'll eat differently. If they're friends, they won't question your choices.

[Myonlybattle 65]

Thanks to all the replies. I clearly didn't do a good job asking my question. But a lot of you gave me good answers anyway, so thank you!

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

dont get me wrong... its so important to be mindful, think ahead and plan ahead. knowing what you ate going to eat ahead of time is essential to being successful with any eating plan. i coach people on special allergy diets and its #1 on my list of things people need to do. absolutely think ahead about what you are going to eat!

but its a waste of mental and emotional energy to give a single **** about what you *think* others might be thinking about what you eat. live in your own head. pay attention to your own wants and needs. take care of yourself. what others think of you is none of your business anyway.

Edited July 21, 2014 by moonlitestarbrite

[Myonlybattle 65]

@@moonlitestarbrite, thanks. I'm not worried about what others will think at all, I just know that with CERTAIN groups in our social circle the way to handle things is to not go out with them until I can sit and eat (small, healthy) and have a glass of wine. And I was just assuming that I'd wait until I could do that with these types of people and not worry about it. But what I found is that when I said we're busy (for example, when dates came up that are during my pre-op), I'm being asked to pick another date that works. So I was hoping to get a ballpark of when I can safely show up to a dinner table and order a healthy fish and have a glass of wine. I really wanted this info just so I could know how far to push these people out on the calendar in terms of getting together.

Based on the responses I got, I'm thinking I could do it 4-6 weeks from surgery (safely) and so last night I booked a few things 6 weeks out or later.

I really do appreciate all the responses, this site is amazing

[beachgurl84 456]

@@moonlitestarbrite, thanks. I'm not worried about what others will think at all, I just know that with CERTAIN groups in our social circle the way to handle things is to not go out with them until I can sit and eat (small, healthy) and have a glass of wine. And I was just assuming that I'd wait until I could do that with these types of people and not worry about it. But what I found is that when I said we're busy (for example, when dates came up that are during my pre-op), I'm being asked to pick another date that works. So I was hoping to get a ballpark of when I can safely show up to a dinner table and order a healthy fish and have a glass of wine. I really wanted this info just so I could know how far to push these people out on the calendar in terms of getting together.

Based on the responses I got, I'm thinking I could do it 4-6 weeks from surgery (safely) and so last night I booked a few things 6 weeks out or later.

I really do appreciate all the responses, this site is amazing

Ahhhhh yes, I think we all misunderstood. You weren't asking WHAT to do in that situation, you were asking WHEN could you do that situation. I think we were all scratching our heads wondering why somebody was apparently tying you down and pouring wine down your throat, LOL

Well, I certainly can't help there but being pre-op myself, you've inspired a lot of people to offer some sound advice and suggestions here for various situations. Thanks everybody

[Pugmadkate 61]

I haven't had a drink in 20 years and I'm no buzzkill! I just don't drink. My husband does and so do most of my friends. They're happy to have a built-in designated driver! Just tell people alcohol is not allowed on your new eating plan and let it go.

I'm confused as to why you would need to wait five minutes between bites of food. I've never heard of that. I just eat my puréed food in front of my friends. I don't care who knows about my surgery, it makes life very easy.

[finallyfree101 39]

If your friends are anything like mine, they won't notice! Mine noticed the weight loss but after they had a few drinks they haven't noticed my dietary and drinking habits at all. I had my surgery July 3rd and have been out on the boat with groups 3 times, one concert, a wedding, 2 bars and yes a restaurant and a camping trip, work was a little hard because we are grazers so I just go in and look at the food and talk with people then leave, it's been interesting. I excuse myself when I need to go and drink a shake and no one is the wiser. I feel supported in my efforts and will tell them with a little time. Good luck, you can do this!

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

everyone is different. i couldnt eat anything like that for at least 3 months. and i wasnt supposed to have alcohol for at least 6 months. (i dont drink) but everyone tolerates food differently. you wont know until you are there.

[rhayla 53]

I'm not sure that friends that make you feel like you HAVE to have a drink are really friends. Eat what you choose. Drink what you choose. Why would a fried care if it's not alcohol?