Who should I tell?????

[mel_e 0]

Hi everyone, just wondering if I am obligated to tell my employer sicne I get my insurance trough them. I am planning to tell my boss that I am taking a medical leave of absece, but I didnt know if I have to be specific and say that I am getting the lapband. Any anwsers are greatly appreciated!!! Thanks

[steinquilts 0]

When I started the process last October I went to my boss and let her know right what I was planning to do. She really appreciated the candor and honesty and I believe it helped when it came time for the medical leave. Because once I was approved I had my surgery a week later. Depending on your relationship with your boss, be as honest as possible.

[Daisalana 33]

I don't think you're obligated to tell your employer, because your insurance is through them. But I agree it would likely be beneficial to tell your boss if you have that kind of a relationship, so when you have time off they're more understanding..and if you had any sort of complication or slow healing, etc. they'd be more accomodating.

[Wheetsin 714]

Hi everyone, just wondering if I am obligated to tell my employer sicne I get my insurance trough them. I am planning to tell my boss that I am taking a medical leave of absece, but I didnt know if I have to be specific and say that I am getting the lapband. Any anwsers are greatly appreciated!!!

No, and no.

Your employer makes the products available to you, and that's pretty much the end of the relationship. You never owe them any explanation or detail for anything around your insurance coverage. And frankly - they don't care. In fact, the only involvement they can have is around registration - and unless they offer a contracting service (some employers do, to help their employees determine what coverage is good for their situation), the only communication you should have with them is when you have a question or you need to provide information for open enrollment.

You also do not need to tell your boss anything specific, and your boss is not allowed to ask. Type of absence (PTO, STD, etc.) and duration is all you're obligated to tell, although do mention any special accomodations you may need upon return (e.g. exceptions to a dress code, a different chair, etc.)

[Wheetsin 714]

Ack, can't edit.

As for needing follow-up time off, it's up to you what you tell. You can tell your boss you had lap-band, or you can just say " a post-surgery appointment" or "follow up care" or even "maintenance." Or - again - you could just make the request for the time off.

I told everyone, and my boss known I have lap-band -- though I still don't think he quite gets what it is -- and even though he knows, if I need a fill or something, I just say "leaving early dor a doctor's appointment." Your boss could question whether you have the time off, or wht you plan to do about X meeting or project or something like that, but they could not turn around and ask, "Oh, what are you having done?" or "Oh, for what?" Big big no no on their behalf.

(On a side note, to give you an idea of how touchy this stuff can be, I once told a boss that I was leaving early for a Dr. appointment. She asked me why, and at the time I didn't know any better so I told her I thought I had an ear infection from a recent scuba dive. She said to me, "That could be because you're a redhead." An HR rep overheard our conversation. She later pulled me aside and told me it was well within my rights to file a (forget the term but it amounted to a hippa violation) for her asking what my appointment was for, AND I could file a discrimination report for her relating my medical problems to being a redhead. I refused, of course, and found out later that my boss was pretty harshly reprimanded anyway.)

[Daisalana 33]

Wow wheetin.

[sleepyjean 0]

An HR rep overheard our conversation. She later pulled me aside and told me it was well within my rights to file a (forget the term but it amounted to a hippa violation) for her asking what my appointment was for, AND I could file a discrimination report for her relating my medical problems to being a redhead.

Forgive my denseness, but how is that discrimination? Did your boss have special restrictions for redheads? Brunettes and blondes can take time off for medical appointments but redheads can't? LOL

Outside of my doctor and my shrink, the only two people who know about my surgery live thousands of miles away from me and each other. I am thankful every single day that I didn't tell anyone else.

[musicalmomma 1]

Outside of my doctor and my shrink, the only two people who know about my surgery live thousands of miles away from me and each other. I am thankful every single day that I didn't tell anyone else.

I sooooo wish I had opted to keep everyone out of my business!!!! I'm one of those open type people and didn't think of the possible ramifications (sp?) of telling people other than close family. I KNOW I'm gonna be under the eagle eye of some of those people..."can you eat that??" "How much have you lost so far?" Why o WHY did I tell people???? Oh yea, it's cuz I talk before I think!!! LOL

I'm a stay at home mom, but my hubby is also having WLS and is only telling his boss that he's been going to pre-op appointments and will let him know when the surgery is scheduled. He also let HR know he'll be out for a while and may need short term disability. No one has asked him what the surgery is for and that's the way it should be. They've really respected his privacy.

[Wheetsin 714]

The HR rep felt the discrimination was made by stating a health condition was related to a physical attribute that had a "stereotype" connected to it. Now did I agree? Totally different thread.

Honestly? The company I worked for at the time was very high in the public eye - a household name, and also going through quite a bit of legal issues, some of which revolved around violations of the seven protected. I think HR was in ultra mode.

[Paulax 8]

I agree it is no one's business but your own. I think sometimes we feel as though we need to give all the details and that is just not true.

Facts are facts, you have a right privacy and to use your insurance if your work offers that.

No need to say anything further than you are having surgery and will require X time off.

Good luck. If any employer asks for specifics, they are probably just curious or concerned. But they have no legal right to ask for specifics.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Hugs

[kacee 3]

I think a lot of people ask questions about the lap band out of curiosity. Can't fault someone for that. I don't mind educating someone if they ask. I'm not worried about what other people say or think. Been on this earth way too long for that garbage to bother me anymore. I've told my boss, all my co-workers, and close friends and family. I'll answer anyone who asks me afterwards how I lost the weight that I was blessed to be able to get a tool to help me cuz I've fought and won many battles but I was losing the war. If someone thinks I am weak for making that choice for my body....hey, no harm no foul that's their problem. I'll just take it on down the road.

[Paulax 8]

I think a lot of people ask questions about the lap band out of curiosity. Can't fault someone for that. I don't mind educating someone if they ask. I'm not worried about what other people say or think. Been on this earth way too long for that garbage to bother me anymore. I've told my boss, all my co-workers, and close friends and family. I'll answer anyone who asks me afterwards how I lost the weight that I was blessed to be able to get a tool to help me cuz I've fought and won many battles but I was losing the war. If someone thinks I am weak for making that choice for my body....hey, no harm no foul that's their problem. I'll just take it on down the road.

kacee, I love your attitude. My dear friend who was banded a year before me is just like you. She tells everyone who will listen and I love her for it. But not all of us are like that. She is an extrovert, I am an introvert. As much as I admire her for her open honestly, I just can't be like that.

I do feel as though if someone were to ask me and I felt that they would benefit from my experience, I would most certainly tell them. I guess it comes down to personality and comfort zone. We are all different.

But hugs and cheers for all of you who can be open about your weight loss surgery. It is because of my open friend that I came to know about this life saving surgery. And for that I honour her for being my mentor.

[Daisalana 33]

I didn't intentionally mean to tell everyone, I told friends and family, and I work with a lot of family and they ended up telling everyone. I don't mind, my only issue was that since everyone here knows at least 1 person who has had GB, and NO ONE knows what Lap-Band is, so they kept wanting to know why I didn't get GB.. then tell me the success stories of people they know who did GB, then saying I should try that instead, etc.

Now that it's over, the girls in the office go 'you look skinny already' or 'you're just wasting away!'

I know they're trying to be nice and helpful, but *I* know I'm not going to waste away in 2 weeks so I take it the wrong way.. like they're patronizing me maybe.

I don't care who knows, I just have to take everyone's reaction with a grain of salt. I have no problem explaining what it is, what I'm going through-will have to go through, etc. But I don't like when people are wanting to know why I'd choose lap-band over GB, because they don't really know the risks of GB to begin with, so it's not very educational to them.

Seriously, everyone I work with is a size 0. :rolleyes

[kacee 3]

I think your co-workers are trying to inspire you and give you encouragement. I most definitely expect those kindof comments after my surgery (no different from when you announce to everyone you are going on a diet and after the first flush of success - yeah, those first 5 pounds - people start making those comments to you....then of course you fall off the wagon and gain it all back:eek: ....but that was THEN and this is NOW....no more of that! ). To be completely honest I would probably find myself saying the exact same things to someone else in the same position. We're not being mean...we are just reveling in their potential success...

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I don't care who knows, I just have to take everyone's reaction with a grain of salt. I have no problem explaining what it is, what I'm going through-will have to go through, etc. But I don't like when people are wanting to know why I'd choose lap-band over GB, because they don't really know the risks of GB to begin with, so it's not very educational to them.

Seriously, everyone I work with is a size 0. :rolleyes

Keep in mind that we have a really hard time taking a compliment. People have their own bizarre ways of showing support when someone is trying hard to reach a goal. Skinny people just don't get it. They think that when we are morbidly obese we appreciate being told we are wasting away after 10 lbs. Intention... I always strive to remember intentions are good and really, that is what matters to me. I'd rather they tell me I am wasting away than to tell me I'm so fat it doesn't matter. I'm beyond hope! LOL I have decided to take their compliments and support and run with them! I'm keeping the good stuff.

As for skinny people not understanding the HUGE and MASSIVE differences between bypass and banding, it's a topic they wouldn't know. Just like I don't know the advantages of bigger hips/better curves in a size 2 vs. a size 4. Heck, I'm trying to get rid of my current curves.