What are you telling people?

[mom2lscw 8]

As I am going through this journey very quickly there is something I've really been thinking about.... I can totally empathize with not wanting the whole world to know what's going on. I've heard of people saying ulcer surgery, gallbladder removal, etc..... but for those that have already had the surgery how do you explain the very quick and substantial weight loss? I mean do people really believe the story. I trying to figure out how I want to handle telling people or not.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes just thinking "it's none of their business" and while I agree that it not it doesn't mean that it won't come up. I am not okay with responding to people in a rude way. So I just want to know if people bought your story, or how you handled it.

[azinuit1 12]

I say that I am working with a nutritionist and working out hard at the gym, my colleagues don't need to know. I don't eat around anyone at work, I leave the building for lunch. When it comes to work gatherings I get Soup, veggie Soup. When they ask what I am doing I tell them I have cut out all carbs, sugar, fast food, and sodas...lots of Protein. By then people are like hell no and they walk away. My gym friends I tell them I am running outside and working out at home. I still do go to the gym for weight work outs. I am not comfortable yet telling people, only a handful of people know the truth and even with that sometimes I feel ashamed.

Good luck and hope everything works out for you.

On 7/21 it will be 4 months, I am currently down 52.8 lbs and went from a size 18 to 10 I am blessed, never thought I could ever see a size 10.

[SherB 220]

A few months back a friend of mine at work said, "hey did you see how much weight so and so lost?" "Well, I found out she had the lap band and she has been telling people she is dieting and exercising really hard." Anyway, my friend was really upset with her for lying. (although she probably was exercising and watching what she ate). I get it was not her business but she was hurt and really kinda ticked off. I wont lie myself if asked but that is just me. Oh, and by the way the friend who told me this is 3 years out of a gastric bypass and did not keep it a secret so maybe that is why her feelings were hurt.

Edited July 16, 2014 by SherB

[LisaNLasVegas 91]

I got the band in 2003 and didn't tell anyone except family and some close friends. Well, some of the close friends who "wouldn't tell anyone" wound up telling their husbands, who you know can't keep secrets (sorry, guys!), and would say something in front of others. There are still some of my friends who don't know. I wish I would have been open about it - how do you "confess" to someone 3,4,5,6, etc years later?

I am getting a revision to the sleeve on August 5, and this time I have decided to be open about it. I know I don't owe it to tell anyone, but I think the more we try to keep WLS a secret, the more we reinforce the shame of it.

Also, if you are basically lying to people in the gym and who struggle with weight loss as well, aren't you in a way making them feel worse about themselves? How many times have we said to ourselves, I will just eat Protein, I will just follow the diet without the surgery..... I know we are not responsible for the way anyone else feels, but I'm deciding this time to try to motivate people and not be ashamed about my life decisions.

With that being said, I am still not telling people about my "little band secret." I feel guilty now about saying I had it 11 years ago - also I don't want people to say, you had WLS and you still need another one? :/

I KNOW I totally just contradicted myself - what can I say? lol I've just done it "both ways" now and I am finding for me, the open way makes me feel better. I am also surprised at HOW MANY people tell me they have been looking into WLS as well - most people know all about the different WLS, so I know they have been researching.

The bottom line is to do what feels the best for you. I am NOT an open person, but I already feel less guilt this time about just telling people the truth and not being ashamed of it! Good luck in whatever you decide!

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

I don't have a problem with discussing my surgery with my family or close friends. But I don't want my work colleagues discussing my weight or intimate details of my health. So at work I just said I was having surgery with no other description. I started dieting (and losing a great deal of weight) long before my surgery, so the changes since surgery are not so extreme. If people ask me about my diet and exercise program, I tell them. Once they hear how strict it is, they quickly lose interest.

I don't feel like I'm doing a disservice to other obese people by not revealing my surgery to all. I'm not losing weight any faster than I did pre-surgery. (Although it's true that I am counting on the surgery to help me maintain the weight loss by teaching me to eat less overall.)

[Kindle 8,667]

90% of the time when someone comments or asks about my weight loss I tell them I had surgery. Their next question is bypass or Lapband? I explain about the sleeve gastrectomy and answer any other questions they have. Everyone has been happy and express congratulations with how great I look and feel. A few have even asked for my surgeon's contact info...including my OB/Gyn who wanted to pass it on to other patients.

The end result of my openness is a better educated person who can now tell their friends "yeah, I know someone who had weight loss surgery and she looks great!" For me, it's been so much easier than lying and telling half-truths. If anyone is talking negatively behind my back, I don't know about it and wouldn't care anyways. For the 10 % I don't tell about surgery, those are usually clients that I don't particularly like and don't really want to have any sort of non-business related conversation with.

[fccm04 39]

I totally understand. I've always been the one to work out and diet....my story us I'm working out more and completely changed my diet...which us true. The extra is not needed. I just don't want ppl in my business. I guess my fear is if for some reason it doesn't work or I gain the weight back, I don't want to hear it. Not really fear....I just don't want to hear it!

[Dragonsmate 107]

When asked at work, I just respond with "eating healthier and exercising" which is complete truth. I don't feel it necessary to share surgery details with anyone other than my husband, mother and a couple of close friends. It was a very personal decision for me and there are folks out there with very different opinions from mine regarding bariatric surgery, and I just do not feel the need to justify my decisions to anyone.

I feel it is similar to taste in music and there are folks out there who just don't like AC/DC which I totally get, however I decline to debate the awesomeness of "Back in Black." Silly answer but it is 1 am and that is all I have right now

[bmoo 7]

For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor? or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? For of him, and through him, and unto him, are all things. To him be the glory for ever. Amen. (‭Romans‬ ‭11‬:‭34-36‬ ASV)

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Most of the time I tell people I had surgery (generally have to explain the sleeve because they only know bypass and lap band, just like @@Kindle says), and that since my surgery I am eating a high-protein, low carb diet and tracking everything I eat on MyFitnessPal. I also mention I try to keep up with exercise. I don't mind talking about surgery -- after all, it might help the people I am talking to, or someone they know. But I also don't want people to think that surgery is some sort of magic wand and that you don't have to work at it after. I've only had one person give me a negative reaction to surgery.*

The times when I don't talk about surgery are in large social settings - like at a party with people I don't know well, or one time when I was actually in a receiving line at a funeral -- no one actually wants to get into gruesome surgical details or boring minutia about how MyFitnessPal works in those sorts of situations, so there I kind of brush it off and tell people to email me or message me on Facebook if they want the whole story.

*this woman was a total jerk about it and kept talking about how it was "unfair" and "cheating" that I "got to have surgery" and she just has to diet and exercise to get from a size 14 to a size 12 and she just can't do it. So I silently gritted my teeth and made it my next goal to get to a size 12 -- I was a size 16 at the time. Yes I am competitive! So I am now hovering between a size 12 and a size 10 and I love being smaller than her. I won't lie, I also enjoy being smaller than another woman at work who used to lecture me about my weight and how horrible it was and how I needed to lose weight.

[Momma J 53]

Only a select few about my surgery! When the weight started coming off and people ask what I was doing, my response was a complete lifestyle change. It's not a lie, we are doing a complete lifestyle change. I told them I had a Nutritionist and working with her. I had already changed my eating habits before surgery. They knew I was exercising because I was asking the guys questions on weight lifting. This satisfied everyone's curiosity. It even inspired some of my coworkers to loose weight and get fit. I believe the biggest challenge for this is to get your mind in the right place. This journey has to be for you and you only!

[evanslaura79 45]

I have only told a select few. My mother, however, has told everyone with an ear. I guess she is excited for me

[Terri Lynn1383837796 139]

For me, honesty has been my policy. I tell everyone! I remember thinking back years ago when Star Jones had her weight loss surgery but wouldn't admit it...she knew she had it and everybody else did too! She just looked crazy with the "eating right and exercising" line. People who I work with, went to school with and so on know I have been big my entire life. I have absolutely zero problem telling them I had the sleeve and many ask me about the procedure. Hey...maybe I've helped someone!!

[RayJunCayJun 41]

As popular as the "sleeve sugery" is getting- everyone is bound to know somebody that has had it done.

People can't really keep secrets, the juicer the secret the harder it is for people to keep, think about how many times you told your best friend something and added "don't tell anybody" or her to you.

If you told more then 3 people you can be sure several already know so it don't make sense to have a big lie about it but you need to do what feels right to you. People love judging other people over anything.

[slvrsax 301]

I'm with Kindle on this, I handle it in a similar fashion. Before surgery I was tight lipped. I wasn't sure how things would turn out, if it would work, etc. Post surgery is an entirely different story. I am open to anyone who asks. Could I say I'm watching what I eat and exercising and be telling the truth? Yes - but for me that is only part of the truth. Weight loss surgery is my truth and if someone thinks less of me, so be it because I refuse to be ashamed of taking control of my health My employer asked me to write for our "be inspired" health column. When I mentioned WLS, I was told I could not not include that because "it might create confusion because our health coverage doesn't cover it". Guess what? They don't get my story because I refuse to omit an important component of my weight loss for the sake of being politically correct.