I am not complaining but...anyone else have this "problem'?

[GalileeGal 47]

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my sleeve and am so grateful for having had the opportunity to have this wonderful tool which has enabled me to get healthy BUT...does anyone else notice that their weight loss has encouraged people to treat you like public property?

What do I mean?

Haven't you lost enough weight? Your face is getting too thin!

You have made your point and this operation worked,but don't you think you could have done it yourself?

You are half of what you were, can you believe you were so fat?

How do you know you won't gain it back?

Anyone else getting inappropriate (though well-meant) attention?

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Yup we have all gotten them and we all stand there mouths wide open thinking what would they do if I said that to them...but we close our mouths and don't say anything..

Well meant comments..I think not... Invasion of your space..i think so....

I would say if i want your advice I will tell it to you and then you can relay it to me.....Some people!

[LovetoDive 4]

@@GalileeGal Did you tell people about your surgery? Just curious. I'm so new and have kept it to myself except family and close friends so far... hadn't given it much thought, though, just being summer. Love to hear your thoughts...oh, and by the way, Congratulations on your loss!

[Nicey2u 228]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones! Everyone I know has been supportive and think It's great! If anyone has said any of those things I don't remember it. haha Although I do tend to ignore anything negative cause all I care about I That feel awesome and I can run up a flight of stairs without passing out! Hahahaha

[GalileeGal 47]

Thanks for your responses and support. I am very open about having had the surgery if people ask "what I did." I know people mean well and most are just so proud of me,but it's sort of like when you are pregnant and all of a sudden everyone has an opinion about what is going on with your body!

[GalileeGal 47]

As long as we are on the topic of BIG changes in our lives, I have also noticed I get a lot more respect, especially professionally. I guess people of normal weight are taken more seriously? Hmmm...?

[FairySleeve 297]

Hi there, I'm only 7 days post-op but I've actually have some thoughts prepared about this.

So far since pre-op, I only told my close friends and family because I knew I'd definitely need their support.

I don't think that I'll tell anyone else about the surgery at all, I probably tell them that I have been eating right (which is true) unless that person really need advice like if they've been struggling for weight loss for years as well.

The thing is all those questions people might ask, I already asked myself since I was doing the research on the bariatric surgery. The question that I kept asking and asking myself was 'Don't you think that you can do it on your own?'

The answer was -- 'probably' but it's been almost 20 years I've been struggling with my weight and I failed.

I asked my husband and he said, it seemed very difficult for you.

I've been on a diet for half of my life but I kept gaining, I don't regularly overeat any greasy or junk food. I don't graze, I don't snack, I'm not a sweet eater, I eat normally but still be able to gain weight so easily! while those people who are luckier with their normal BMI never did and never will understand what it's like to be obese and suffering with diseases.

I don't think I owe them anything to answer their silly questions, unless of course if it could be helpful.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Hi there, I'm only 7 days post-op but I've actually have some thoughts prepared about this.

So far since pre-op, I only told my close friends and family because I knew I'd definitely need their support.

I don't think that I'll tell anyone else about the surgery at all, I probably tell them that I have been eating right (which is true) unless that person really need advice like if they've been struggling for weight loss for years as well.

The thing is all those questions people might ask, I already asked myself since I was doing the research on the bariatric surgery. The question that I kept asking and asking myself was 'Don't you think that you can do it on your own?'

The answer was -- 'probably' but it's been almost 20 years I've been struggling with my weight and I failed.

I asked my husband and he said, it seemed very difficult for you.

I've been on a diet for half of my life but I kept gaining, I don't regularly overeat any greasy or junk food. I don't graze, I don't snack, I'm not a sweet eater, I eat normally but still be able to gain weight so easily! while those people who are luckier with their normal BMI never did and never will understand what it's like to be obese and suffering with diseases.

I don't think I owe them anything to answer their silly questions, unless of course if it could be helpful.

The only reason i came clean about having WLS is because my plan to come home from the hospital in 3 days and start dieting and exercising but it was not to be.. After a 5.5 month stay and complications I became known around my area and at other hospitals. so it was not an option for me to keep it quiet any longer.

So now I am taking it another direction..i am planning on kicking butts for them to get on board with WLS in my area and try to help those who struggle with the issue and the choices out there....I believe that now I shall shout it from the roof top and if there are dumb questions, well so be it..I don't have to answer them...

We have an epidemic in our society and a war against big companies who make money off of those who try so hard like you to get somewhere that this is the choice you have made..

I know the pain but you are looking out for you and your family..Head up girl and walk straight...It is going to be a rocky ride..But so worth it!!!

[FairySleeve 297]

Hi there, I'm only 7 days post-op but I've actually have some thoughts prepared about this.

So far since pre-op, I only told my close friends and family because I knew I'd definitely need their support.

I don't think that I'll tell anyone else about the surgery at all, I probably tell them that I have been eating right (which is true) unless that person really need advice like if they've been struggling for weight loss for years as well.

The thing is all those questions people might ask, I already asked myself since I was doing the research on the bariatric surgery. The question that I kept asking and asking myself was 'Don't you think that you can do it on your own?'

The answer was -- 'probably' but it's been almost 20 years I've been struggling with my weight and I failed.

I asked my husband and he said, it seemed very difficult for you.

I've been on a diet for half of my life but I kept gaining, I don't regularly overeat any greasy or junk food. I don't graze, I don't snack, I'm not a sweet eater, I eat normally but still be able to gain weight so easily! while those people who are luckier with their normal BMI never did and never will understand what it's like to be obese and suffering with diseases.

I don't think I owe them anything to answer their silly questions, unless of course if it could be helpful.

The only reason i came clean about having WLS is because my plan to come home from the hospital in 3 days and start dieting and exercising but it was not to be.. After a 5.5 month stay and complications I became known around my area and at other hospitals. so it was not an option for me to keep it quiet any longer.

So now I am taking it another direction..i am planning on kicking butts for them to get on board with WLS in my area and try to help those who struggle with the issue and the choices out there....I believe that now I shall shout it from the roof top and if there are dumb questions, well so be it..I don't have to answer them...

We have an epidemic in our society and a war against big companies who make money off of those who try so hard like you to get somewhere that this is the choice you have made..

I know the pain but you are looking out for you and your family..Head up girl and walk straight...It is going to be a rocky ride..But so worth it!!!

:-D Thanks RJ for your spirit, sorry to hear about your complications and I'm glad that you came through it!!I also thought about coming clean about the surgery but this thought came only after the surgery, the doctors and nurses really encouraged me along the way. I was quite surprised that they (for more info--they are French) actually gave me compliments, cheering me up, saying how brave I was to go through this major surgery on my worst days and I thought Wow, I really didn't choose the easy way out! It was painful, I have to turn my life around, It take courage to do it and the most important thing, I decided to take action to improve my life! I probably will come clean about my surgery some day too, and I won't be ashamed about it, thank you.

[SuntannedToes 6]

Yes, something I have had concerns about. My VSG was 8 days ago. My husband, children and hairdresser have been told. No one else. People, including my family (sisters), have commented on my weight for years, sympathetically, rudely, even with meanness. Why would I include them in this life changing decision. I will probably never tell anyone. They don't deserve to know. Love and respect should be given to people, thin or fat. I say let them wonder!

[ColtonsMom 2]

I am 22 days post-op. I have told my family and close friends about my surgery. At work I only told my boss, and a couple other women that I am close to in my department. I've chosen not to tell the others in my area simply because this is a very personal thing to me, and I don't want to feel like they are judging me. Which some of them will. Each of our weight loss journeys are personal to us as individuals. Those that have never battled with their weight truly cannot not understand the emotional effects being over weight can be. I am new to the bariatricpal.com community. I look forward to getting to know everyone, and to have the additional support that I've seen on here. Congratulations to everyone for making the choice to better yourselves physically and emotionally. May your journeys be successful.

[getnhealthyintx 281]

I have had some of that, what I keep running up against is... "what your basically doing is starving yourself, could you have not done that with out surgery?". And... "We would have loved you to come but we are not sure there was anything you could eat! ".

[Darianna75 131]

I have had some of that, what I keep running up against is... "what your basically doing is starving yourself, could you have not done that with out surgery?". And... "We would have loved you to come but we are not sure there was anything you could eat! ".

I've had similar type comments.. There ain't too much The Sleevester handles well. So eat almost the same thing everyday and I still have trouble eating veggies. I've been told I'm not eating healthy and I'm eating to little and I need to eat right.. Well this is what I can eat sorry!! Also if one more person says "well there is nothing here u can eat" or "oh is this okay or that something you can eat??" Don't worry peeps I can find something to eat !!! I got this covered and sometimes I don't need everyone trying to "help" out and give me advice.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

And this is why I'm not sharing my medical history with the world.

BTW, "just telling a few close friends" is not the way to keep a secret. There's no way the few people you tell about your surgery, after watching your weight loss and finding it fascinating, won't tell other friends, family members and even strangers.

[Jersrose43 837]

I told everyone.

But the comments I get the most this last week make me sad .... You look great. Looks like it's working. Keep at it because I know too many people who had the surgery and just gained it all back.

Frustrating.

So yesterday I got pissed off at someone who is way bigger than me when she said it. And well here was my responses

So what surgery did they have ? I'm not sure

What did you see them do that caused this gains ? Well they ate very little like you but when they went back to normal eating they started regaining

What so you mean normal eating? So like when will you eat normal again?

Normal? What's normAl? Wings, dips, pizzas, etc? Uh yeah. Well like never if I can help it.

This isn't a cure it's a lifestyle change and it sounds like the people you know failed because they didn't remember the prime directive.