Family is unsupportive :/

[Tisa 52]

Sigh. I don't know if I'm right or wrong here.

So I was sitting down talking to my mom about my surgery, and she says "we're going to get through this as a family". So I think cool, they want to help me, I start explaining to her about how I'm going to be on a clear liquid diet for a while and other things and I ask her if she could stop buying certain foods (Cookies, ice cream, and muffins) because it will help me not be tempted and she starts freaking out, like I shot her or something. She said I was self-centered, that I'm not the only one in this house, that I need more self control, that I'm ungrateful ect.

I can't believe someone would react like this over some junk food. It makes me think maybe I'm not the only one with a food addiction, and It just makes me sad. Do you guys think it's selfish of me to ask her not to buy these things? I don't think I've asked her for too much. I'm paying for everything related to my surgery on my own. In my opinion nobody really needs food like that anyway, in fact my family would be healthier without it.

I always kind of figured I'd be in this alone. I'm kind of the black sheep in my family.

[Jersrose43 837]

I am figuring you live with her and other members?

If so just try to avoid the treats. Maybe clear out a shelf in a cupboard of your go to things.

I am sorry that they don't seem more supportive.

[4me4them 381]

But Tisa you are NOT alone in this...you have US! Your road will be more challenging without their support but you will succeed in spite of it... Keep up the good work!

[Kathy812 794]

Tisa, be fair to your family. You are NOT the only one who live in your house. YOU made the decision to have this surgery, not them.

At the beginning beginning you mentioned your mom said " we're going to get through this as a family." It sounds like they are supporting you, maybe not in every way you want, but they are supportive.

Hang in there, fight the urge. Come to this site or call supportive friends when you feel tempted. YOU can do this. You are not alone.

[fccm04 39]

Wow! Well I didn't tell my family about my surgery. Only my husband and he's been very supportive. He doesn't eat in front of me at all. I cook for my house but I don't eat it at all and although I cook the food, they don't eat in front of me. And my household is filled with healthy Snacks now.

When you live with someone who buys the groceries, I'm sure tensions will flare when their not on the same pages this is a true test for you. Don't worry, you can do it. Just stay focused on you end result.

[SLF1027 136]

I don't really have anything new to add as these ladies have given some good advice, but sometimes change is hard. Get yourself a cozy little corner in the kitchen and a small section in the fridge for your foods and let them do their thing. Hopefully soon they'll be impressed with your will power and want to join in your success!

[LivingFree! 478]

It really is one of our toughest challlenges at the beginning. WE are the ones who have to learn to change our old eating habits in a world where we are CONSTANTLY surrounded by junk food and the people who are constantly eating it. And that includes right inside our own homes. Maybe they can compromise and be more aware of not leaving it out all over the place and not eating it all the time right in front of you. And you can be starting to find substitutions for the junk food that are healthier choices that you can eat while the family is having the "traditional" junk food.

It took me well over a year to not be bothered by seeing the junk food and others eating it. Now I can see people eating it, or I can just see it sitting there and I say things to myself like, "I don't eat that anymore," or "I choose to eat healthfully now." If you work hard on changing your habits in that first year, the junk food loses its power over you, or better yet--YOU gain YOUR POWER over it! You can start making these changes little by little, because the rewards will be for the rest of your life!

[BarntruckCutie 21]

You are not selfish, I just think its unrealistic to change everyone elses eating options. I feel it may be more difficult for you with those tempting foods around but its not fair to say they can't have it because you choose wls. You and me too just have to discipline ourselves and make changes that are good for us. You can do it! Stay strong and remember there are tons of us out here going through this too! Best of luck to you!

[Skywalker 170]

I can kind of see both sides, but sorry she's not more supportive. I took a look at your BMI, and you'd think she would be a little more concerned about your health (rather than her food selection) at almost 300 lbs. I don't know if maybe there is a way you guys could compromise, like she puts her treats in a locked/secured drawer in the fridge or cabinets so you couldn't access them?

[8Krystal8 5]

I got sleeved June 24, so I'm about 3 weeks out. My family was unsupportive as well. Making comments like why would I do this to myself and so on. My mother said she wouldn't change her eating habits. After surgery I put my groceries in a shelf and put refrigerated items in the fridge like normal next to cakes (my weakness). The first week was hard only because I had "head hunger" , but I'd stop and consult with my stomach. "I'm not hungry and don't even feel well enough to really crave food". I'm 20 lbs down and it's noticeable my mother now wants to eat better unlike the first days after surgery where she would cook all my favorite dishes and say "you can't eat this unless you want to end up back in the hospital". At first, when your tempted that'll run through your mind a lot too and when you see the weight coming off you'll realize that eating those things aren't worth it. At least that is how it's been for me so far ????

[Forsythia 882]

My husband is a human garbage can with a super fast metabolism. He has all kinds of crap in the house. Ice cream, buddy bars..Chocolate for days. He doesn't need to lose weight and is not interested in changing his food intake. I just ask that he put most of it in his special cabinet way high up above the oven because I can't reach into it. Short of moving out, you can't guarantee that anyone is going to change their lifestyle for you if they do not want to.

[Gianacruz 19]

She's the ungrateful and self centered one. If she can't make a small change in her diet to see her daughter make a life change to better her health than she's not doin what a mother should do. I'm only 19 and I just got a sleeve 3 days ago. Me and my mother did it together but she's lives in PA and I'm in FL. It's not like ur asking anyone to do the diet with you. Anyways my post op diet I just drank Protein Shake for Breakfast and lunch, I had yogurt and Jello for in between if I was hungry of course sugar free. U can also get sugar Popsicles to if u want. But for dinner I had a small piece of meat NO breaking. I had no complication with my liver being to large I even drank a little bit of alcohol a few days prior. Just make sure it's no calories and u drink a lot of Protein Shakes. Diet soda will be ur best friend too in between the shakes because that's like the last time you will be able to handle carbonated drinks.

[Gianacruz 19]

She's the ungrateful and self centered one. If she can't make a small change in her diet to see her daughter make a life change to better her health than she's not doin what a mother should do. I'm only 19 and I just got a sleeve 3 days ago. Me and my mother did it together but she's lives in PA and I'm in FL. It's not like ur asking anyone to do the diet with you. Anyways my post op diet I just drank Protein Shake for breakfast and lunch, I had yogurt and Jello for in between if I was hungry of course sugar free. U can also get sugar free Popsicles to if u want. But for dinner I had a small piece of meat NO breading. I had no complication with my liver being to large I even drank a little bit of alcohol a few days prior. Just make sure it's no calories and u drink a lot of Protein Shakes. Diet soda will be ur best friend too in between the shakes because that's like the last time you will be able to handle carbonated drinks.< /p>

[Zane's Mom 184]

I wish your family was more supportive. My hub and did the week long pre op liquid diet with me. We did not cook that week. The kids got microwave meals or sandwiches etc.

He kept up with me after surgery and I did not enter the kitchen to cook until 3 weeks out. He did not eat in front of me or he ate what I was eating. He likes all the sugar free items and yogurt and cottage cheese etc.

Now they love that I'm back to cooking. As a family we eat very healthy at meals and our downfall is Snacks. There are a lot and not healthy. Trying to change that for them now!!!

They will probably come around. It's impossible to see how good you will start looking and feeling, and not be envious. It will be the best thing you've done for yourself. That's what matters.

[scootergirl 118]

Don't fret too much about your mom'a reaction. Sometimes it is scary to the folks around us who need to adjust to our changes. The good news is that you will very likely to not have any desire for any of those food right after your surgery. As your weight starts falling off your family may have a change of feelings and choose to leave those foods at the store