Not telling anyone...

[NicksWife22 0]

For those of you who kept getting banded a secret and only told one person or so... how do you explain the new eating habits, not going to buffets and out to dinner, etc? I know my parents will notice and I don't know how to keep it from them around the holidays and stuff. My hubby is the only one who knows. My friends will suspect. Any thoughts?

[NicksWife22 0]

By the way. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Nick's Wife and I'm from PA. Getting banded on May 11th in Tijuana. Not real nervous yet, and I know this will be the best choice I've ever made. Next to picking my hubby of course. Hi everyone!!

[musicalmomma 1]

First, congratz on being banded in the very near future! In some ways, I wish I hadn't told anyone. I didn't tell too many people, just people that I spend a good deal of time with. But, now I kind of wish I hadn't told them. I don't want a bunch of "how much weight have you lost so far?" crap! As far as what to tell people...I guess I'd just tell them that I'm trying to lose weight and eat more healthy. That's all they really need to know. After all, after the post-op diet, you can eat normal food. Regarding buffets? I'll personally probably steer away from them as much as possible. I have this terrible "get my money's worth" mentality...so a buffet would be torture for me.

Best of luck to you! Keep us posted :Banane27:

[Afrykanvyolet 0]

Hey Nick's Wife,

Your getting banded on my birthday. What a lovely day it will be for the both of us. Well, I'll probably enjoy more since you will be getting over that awful anesthesia. Congratulations and the best of wishes!

I only told about 3 people. I really don't get questioned about my eating habits now, but during those rare instances I do I just reply..."Girrllll, Just trying to learn to be a little more healthier." That's all I say and they leave it a that.

I haven't lost much but people can already tell that I lost some weight. I just say "thanks, I'm trying." There's no need to explain yourself because your an adult and it's really none of their business. But, when they do notice always say thank you. It makes you feel good and motivated.

I really don't do buffets but I did go to one just to eat the crab legs. No problems. That was my second time eating out since the surgery. The first time I went with a bunch of people and no one really paid attention to what I was eating. I was just there to have a good time and I did.

[Dame J 0]

Hi Nick's wife. Congrats on getting banded. I told 2 people and two people only (my parents). I did not tell anyone else including my best friends. It was and is hard because I tell them EVERYTHING, so the choice not to tell in this case was hard to make. People are funny when it comes to weightloss surgery and I find that even those who love you can be judgemental and will police what you do and eat. I decided that I would not tell for these reasons. I figure once you tell there is no taking it back so think long and hard when you tell people.

Anyway to the point... excuses! When I started to loose weight I lost a lot of it during the pre-op diet. I told my friends that my weight was a little out of control and that for my health my Dr. wanted me to work on reducing the size of my liver so for a while I have to be on a strict diet (technically this is all true). Now that I can eat normal food again (kind of) I just tell people that I am watching what I eat and that I am watching my portions (also true). Also I was not in bed long after the surgery just a day or two so I was able to just tell people I was under the weather.

All in all not telling has worked out well for me. My mother told her best friend but I know her very well (she is like a 2nd mom to me) so I know she will not tell anyone.

Good luck with what you decide to do.

[NicksWife22 0]

I hope it's not noticable. I just keep thinking about how in the heck will I fake eat? LOL Chew the food then spit it out? Not put any food on the fork and take a fake bite? LOL I will try the "I've decided to start eating healthy." My husband said to just say "I am serious about losing weight." I would hate for the comments and questions. Alot of people in my family think the surgery is the lazy way out. Not me. I'm psyched!!

[NicksWife22 0]

So what about those scars in a bathing suit?

[Dame J 0]

As for the scars it is weird in the gym locker room. I feel like I am back to Junior high trying to cover up but really I just don't want people to see the scars. They are fading but the port scar is still pretty noticable. I wear a bathing suit (1 piece - blue) and the scars can not be seen.

Don't worry about eating in front of people. If you are serving yourself just take a bit and at a restaurant you can eat and push around the rest and then take home the leftovers. If anything people will be impressed with your willpower of saying no to eating more. At least that is what I get from my friends when we eat out.

[azmensan 1]

I got banded a week ago today - and I told no one except my husband. Not my parents, no one. I don't need anyone's judgment. It's a hard enough point to reach in your life where you'e had to admit you're powerless over food, I don't need other people who don't understand telling me a load of crap.

At any rate, I have lost 30 pounds during the whole process - 20 pounds pre-op diet and 10 pounds in the past week. Yes, people notice. I just tell them the same thing others hav e- my doctor wants me to lose weight. Which is true. The surgery, when I had it, also required a hiatal hernia repair - so I just told people that's the surgery I had - also true. Hence, the time off from work, the incisions, the change in eating - all explained away!

I do not blame you for not telling others. I simply brought up the topic about 2 years ago with my mother and she went through the roof about how I must just not have any self-control, blah blah blah - even though she knows I gained my weight due to a brain tumor - sorry, but it's a little hard to get past the "it's not fair" in my head to lose the weight! After struggling for 15 years to lose the weight brough on by the tumor, I had to do something.

Don't let anyone's judgment of you stop you from doing what's right for you and for your health and happiness!

[Ollie 0]

good luck on becoming one of "us".....I also chose not to tell anyone other than my husband and my two sons. For me it was the best decision. As far as eating goes, we go out to dinner with friends and no one really notices what I eat or don't eat. It isn't the problem that you think it is going to be. By the time you are ready to dine with other people, you will be past the liquid and mushie stages. You will be surprised at what people don't notice. On the rare occasion that someone says something, I just tell them that I am finally trying to control my eating habits because I want to live to see my grandchildren and I change the subject. Truthfully, for me, it is not a problem.

have a good journey to lapbandland!

[marys 2]

hey nikswife - congrats on being banded. My opinion is don't tell anyone other then your significant other - I told mine and now two friends and both of the friends don't live near me nor do we have any common friends. Point being - you can always tell people LATER - once you tell them thought it's done and you can't control who they tell, what they think etc.

The band is only a tool = you will still be doing 95% of the work so just say diet and exercise which will be true if you lose weight. You will just be omitting one detail.

I've been scruitinized my whole life - everyone feels like they can tell you what to eat, how to eat, everytime I ate as a kid/young adult my dad would say 'Is that on your diet" ugh

I just don't think it is anyone's buisness. plus god forbid you are a slow loser or almost no loser like me the pain of everyone knowing and wondering why the heck you haven't lost will be HELL.

lastly - my scars are almost non existent and if anyone sees them tell them you had your gallblader out or none of their business.

just my 2 cents.

[NicksWife22 0]

marys,

LOL about having your gallbladder removed! Good idea. I was thinking... because the family does know that hubby and I are going on a vacation, and the thing is I am a total picture taker. Mysteriously I will be bringing minimal photos back from our trip. What I was going to say is I got a bad case of food poisoning while we were there and I couldn't leave the room for 2 days. I think that'll work. And this summer I will just wear a black suit to the beach and try not to let any of my sisters, neices or mom see me nude!! I know it will be fine. Thanks for so much input and support everyone!

[socalgal3 4]

It's funny that you mention the gall bladder excuse, because I have a co-worker who recently came back from gall bladder surgery and I find myself watching her to see if she lost weight because people often mention that in this forum. I think she actually had it out though because she looks the same!

Anyway, I am a closet bandster and I did worry alot and I think I stressed myself out and made it worse. I had to run to the bathroom several times when I first started to eat out because I was trying to "fit in" with others at the table. The best thing to do is order an appetizer or just a cup of Soup. Or order something and ask for a doggy bag right away and put half of your order in before you even get started. Just tell people you had a big Breakfast, you are watching what you eat, whatever! More of it is in our heads about what people think. They think of us alot less that we think they do!

Where are you getting banded in TJ?

Best of luck and welcome to LBT!

[Krystal 4]

I would just say you've decided to change your life and your watching your portions. If you claim you have a sickness like G Bladder it may not be believable for too long. But if you just say your watching your portions its different.

[Meme 0]

Hi everyone o