To Goal or Not to Goal--that is the Question

[Teachamy 1,042]

Hello all,

Here I am, all 156 pounds of me. Feeling happy, successful, filled with energy and health. (Have I mentioned lately I have normal cholesterol, triglycerides, blood pressure, blood sugar, no sleep apnea, etc.???) I am proud of my success thus far, and feel confident if I continue to maintain the status quo as I was taught, I will have the ability to lose my final 16 pounds. Now that I am getting close to a normal BMI, I find my 2 NUTS telling me 2 different things, and I am wondering exactly how I will proceed from here.

First, let me say that my research into this surgery and what it could do for my autoimmune issues was pretty extensive. I looked at medical trials, I talked to every doctor I have (and I have many) about the possibilities for this surgery. I took a risk, and it has paid off. That being said, I am certainly not professing to be a doctor or an RD, but I feel I know my body, and I don't see 140 pounds as an unachievable or unhealthy, nor do I see it as some sort of panacea. I'd like a normal BMI. Call me crazy. I have low muscle tone at the moment, skinny little fingers, small feet. I am not big boned or overly muscular, so a few extra pounds isn't masking anything. Yet, my dietitian (and CDE) who I love and trust has told me I am a perfect weight right now. And a new bariatric center dietitian who sees my weight as slowing down (despite the fact that the least I've ever lost is 3 pounds over a 2 week period) tells me to shoot for 145. I dunno.

I see my long-trusted dietitian in a week, and she is planning to start me on maintenance. I figure we can talk about it, but I also plan to work on losing more. I will be up front with her, but man I'm the good kid who follows the rules. It will be hard to tell her no, not yet.

Anyone else stuck in a goal dilemma?

Best,

Amy

[SherB 220]

I cannot wait to have a goal dilemma like yours! Congratulations on your weight loss!

[Ima Fox 63]

Congrats on your weight loss! But let me say, you don't have to tell them JACK. You're a grown woman. It seems to me you already have the tools to keep losing if that's what you want to do. If that's what you want to do, you don't owe them an explanation or apology and you don't need their permission. Follow your heart and listen to your inner voice and your body. You know whats best for you. The sooner you learn to trust yourself and your instincts, the more true to yourself & the better your life will be. Unlike you, I'm not young. I wish someone would have told me this when I was young. Be your own best friend. Be empowered. You may have outgrown the nutritionists now. If they don't that you make those decisions....Good luck to you.

[gswags 11]

You may get a number of replies to your post and ultimately all are most likely somewhat right and somewhat wrong. When two experts have different opinions in this situation, their opinion is based on experience. You need to view each opinion as right and ultimately listen to what your body is telling you, within the parameters of the experts you are utilizing. Personally I think you need to get to the place you feel most comfortable with yourself. It's not necessarily a number. Currently you don't know what 140 will feel like. The only potential problem with what I'm saying is if you are at a point of being obsessed with a number then you should more fully rely on an expert. If not have a goal in mind but be willing to adjust it if you find you reach a comfort zone.

Edited July 1, 2014 by gswags

[gswags 11]

You may get a number of replies to your post and ultimately all are most likely somewhat right and somewhat wrong. When two experts have different opinions in this situation, their opinion is based on experience. You need to view each opinion as right and ultimately listen to what your body is telling you, within the parameters of the experts you are utilizing. Personally I think you need to get to the place you feel most comfortable with yourself. It's not necessarily a number. Currently you don't know what 140 will feel like. The only potential problem with what I'm saying is if you are at a point of being obsessed with a number. If that is happening then you need to more fully rely on the expert. If not get to the point where you become comfortable and at that point I believe you will know it.

[Teachamy 1,042]

I

You may get a number of replies to your post and ultimately all are most likely somewhat right and somewhat wrong. When two experts have different opinions in this situation, their opinion is based on experience. You need to view each opinion as right and ultimately listen to what your body is telling you, within the parameters of the experts you are utilizing. Personally I think you need to get to the place you feel most comfortable with yourself. It's not necessarily a number. Currently you don't know what 140 will feel like. The only potential problem with what I'm saying is if you are at a point of being obsessed with a number

OOPS! SORRY! LET ME SEE IF I CAN GET THIS RIGHT! (See below)

Edited July 1, 2014 by Teachamy

[Teachamy 1,042]

You may get a number of replies to your post and ultimately all are most likely somewhat right and somewhat wrong. When two experts have different opinions in this situation, their opinion is based on experience. You need to view each opinion as right and ultimately listen to what your body is telling you, within the parameters of the experts you are utilizing. Personally I think you need to get to the place you feel most comfortable with yourself. It's not necessarily a number. Currently you don't know what 140 will feel like. The only potential problem with what I'm saying is if you are at a point of being obsessed with a number then you should more fully rely on an expert. If not have a goal in mind but be willing to adjust it if you find you reach a comfort zone.

I appreciate this, thanks. My goals have been shifting slightly. As it turns out, I am only 5'4", so a "normal" BMI for me is 145. I know it sounds like I am hyper-focused on a number, but I am not the type to weigh every day. I weigh every 2 weeks or so, and it has never been a focus of mine until now that I am so near goal.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Teachamy

[erp 2,016]

I appreciate this, thanks. My goals have been shifting slightly. As it turns out, I am only 5'4", so a "normal" BMI for me is 145. I know it sounds like I am hyper-focused on a number, but I am not the type to weigh every day. I weigh every 2 weeks or so, and it has never been a focus of mine until now that I am so near goal.

I readjust my goal by how I feel at a given weight. Got down to 136 the other day and was feeling really good about my body shape, clothing fit and how I move. Initially, I set 145 as a goal b/c I wanted a normal BMI. Then I decided 140 lbs, so I would have a buffer. Finally I settled on a stretch goal of 130 knowing I will be happy anywhere around 133-137 for maintenance. If I went with my surgeons goal, I would be 165 today. So my suggestion is to go with what makes you feel good and comfortable.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

It's more than height. Body type, how much muscle, even how long you were obese plays a role in how "heavy" you look at a given weight. I am 5'5" spent decades in the 250-300 plus weight class and I am big framed (wide shoulders, big ribcage, size 9.5 feet) and I currently weigh 140. I had breast augmentation but my measurements are approx 39-29-36 ... hardly too skinny. I think you would be fine in the 140s but are probably just fine where you are...personal preference.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Right there with you on this topic! I'm 5'6" and initially set a goal of 135 pounds. Right smack in the middle of the healthy BMI range for my height. At my 6 month post-op appointment I was still technically overweight, but my surgeon was telling me it's okay to stop losing weight. His reasoning was that the health conditions (hi bp, hi cholesterol, asthma, pre-diabetes, etc) that caused me to seek WLS were gone and I was off all the meds to treat them. When I asked him though, he told me it was perfectly safe to adjust down as long as I hung within the healthy BMI range. What he meant was, don't obsess if no more weight comes off. Medically, I'd reached "success".

Now in month 9, I'm no longer overweight at 149 pounds. I work out 5 days per week, hard. I have muscle, under the loose skin :-/ I had always though of myself as large framed, (size 11 shoes, big hands, wide shoulders, etc). But today I can wear a size 4, at 149 pounds! "Big Boned", for me was a crock! I've adjusted my top goal weight up to 145, but will still try to make it to my stretch of 135 if my body cooperates. I won't obsess to get there, but the loss of an even 100 would be cool even if I end up maintaining 10 pounds higher. I still can't picture life as a size 2. At all. Trying to have faith that I'll land where I'm supposed to be.

Edited July 1, 2014 by bikrchk

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

A recent thread with my musings on choosing where to maintain over the long haul... http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/312396-maintainingnow-that-you-are-a-few-years-out/

[Teachamy 1,042]

Thanks to some of the vets for posting. I have been thinking a lot about it, and I don't plan to stay in the 150's. I am currently a size 10-12, and I'd much rather be in the 8-10 range. Or even 6. Yes, maybe it is "vanity weight", but it's my body and I want to feel like I have reached the milestone I have set for myself.

Thanks especially to you,

• CowgirlJane

[diana89131 258]

Hi,

I started my weight loss journey at 267 I am now 155. I thought I would be happy at 155, but I honestly want to lose 10 more pounds secretly I want to lose 20 more pounds, but I keep hearing from Family and Friends to stop losing weight, that I look great and would look sick if I lost more. I am 5'7 so according to my Bmi I am with in normal weight just by the skin of my teeth lol. I wish my family would be more supportive. They are throwing things out like I may have an eating disorder lol. I just want to feel better about myself. I am currently a size 10, I would love to be a 6.

[Yasman 195]

I am coming late to this discussion its been a few weeks since it was really active. I'm at T minus One day for surgery (aka 5:30 am tomorrow) so thoughts on reaching my weight loss goal may seem premature. But I think that my surgeon's goal for me of about 240lb vs. a bmi chart 162.5 being so vastly different I'd like to hear more from more people about what they chose their goal to be and when/if they changed their minds. I went ahead and put in the 162.5 as my goal in my ticker because I do want to be as healthy as I can be and avoid ever getting diabetes. Which, not having diabetes and being 240 I think I would still be at risk of getting adult onset.

Congratulations to everyone who posted wherever you are in your wls journey, you all are an inspiration.

Edited July 13, 2014 by Yasman