Desperate and panicking

[yescobar 42]

1 month post op. It's been a roller coaster, I got a intestinal infection my 6th day and I had to go back to the hospital because by mistake I was not drinking a antibiotic I was supposed to. Diarrea for 5 days with out eating nor drinking anything only with serium in the hospital (didn't know where the diarrea came from). Any way, today I cried the whole day to my mom because I am regreting this surgery, I'm 20 years old I don't live in the same country my parents do because I am in college (right now im in Summer so I have until August with them) I feel I'm never going to be a normal person again, I always eat nervous thinking something wrong is going to happen while eating, I never have energy. all i want to do is sleep to scape from reality, people tell me im skinnier but that doesn't even gets me happy. I've lost 30 lbs already but I am not happy because I feel that after 10 months I can regain those lbs like it has happen to many people. I feel that I am not loosing any weight since I started pureed diet because I can see it on my face but my mom wont let me use the scale. I feel im just 20 and I already messed up a part of my system and I will never be able to enjoy overeating with my friends in college or drinking with them. I've became more anxious than before (they increase the dosis for my clonazepam) because I can't sleep thinking that something wrong will happen to me. I need someone to please motivate me and tell me that everything will be okay. My psycologists are not really helping, they tell me what they know I want to hear. I know them already and they always do that. I get constantly hungry and I crave food a lot, cant stop thinking on sushi! At this point I dont know what to think or do, I've always been a motivated young girl who would always exercise and diet but I got to a point that I would loose weight and then gain again so I decided to do this gastric sleeve even though many of my friends and family told me I could do it naturally but I've been all my life trying and I do get results but after i drop them!

[mentalistfan 189]

You decided to have this surgery for a reason, think back and remember why you wanted and had this surgery. You will be healthier and happier, just give it some time. Eat and drink what you should so you won't be so weak. You know there are things you can't eat, and you knew that before surgery. Embrace your new self and enjoy losing weight, I think it will get better for you, God Bless!!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I would like to suggest counseling and support from a good nutritionalist. I have been very successful with the sleeve....lost over 160 and been maintaining. I gotta tell you...not sure how I would have done at 20. The emotional part of this is as hard or harder than the physical. Many people have regret at your stage, mourning the loss of food. You mention not knowing how this is going to impact your social life. If you hang out with people big into eating and drinking (college!) This could really be a challenge so getting advice and counseling might make a huge difference.

I am more than twice your age, very self confident and I am so OVER food as a. "Friend" and it can still be hard. I have a new friend who is so food orientated and combined with my big eating son home from college....it is exhausting even for me at 2.5 years post op to keep the carbs etc at bay but it is so worth it (size 4 butt instead of 28W).

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I am a girl that 19 months later I am still having complications due to my decision to have WLS. Do I regret it...NO!!!!!!!!!!

I am at goal and living large. So I can't eat that much or binge eat anymore. To me that is a plus. I have learned to control my eating and I am so happy I have my sleeve to be there for me when my favorite foods are dangled in front of me..

When I was young I lost all my weight and then gained it back and set into motion a life style of gaining and losing until I ballooned at 381. Oh no it has not been easy and it never will.

But you decided to catch it young and not suffer what a lot of us have suffered at the hands of other people and our own failing health.

So you can't binge any more. I think you need to really adjust that brain of yours and realize that partying that way is not normal...It is abnormal. food and alcohol are your untrustworthy lovers. They will hurt you and leave you feeling worse then when you indulged..

Everyone gets buyers remorse...Common. Work past that and get it together. You can't fail. It is not an option now... Do it..Retain your brain and go forward. Live a long and healthy life from here on through. I wish I could have had this option as young as you. But hind sight is 20/20.

Just keep swimming. You will only fail if you allow yourself to fail...okay!

Edited June 30, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

Right now focus on following your doctors orders and know that you are doing this for a lifetime of health and things that are worthwhile take time. You will get to enjoy food again but in a different way and it will take time. It will take time to adjust that social life will not focus on food anymore but on conversation, music, etc. you will get to eat out at restaurants and have sushi and other foods you enjoyed. But it will take time. You need to focus on your health now and all the benefits you will see in future. Your life will be so much more than the next binge or food event. A world of activity, and fun, awaits. I just had a delicious rainbow row this weekend and was able to have a little sushi by 3-4 months. Now I am 16 months and chose sushi for dinner 2 weeks ago as well. It's just the whole meal now not the appetizer. But still wonderful!

[deana03 9]

Miss, I felt the same way and my hair started falling out because I didn't get the Protein I should have. Please relax and fight through the anxiety and hopeless thoughts. I promise before long you will be feeling like a new skinnier version of yourself and your eating will slowly go back to normal. Just understand it's a process, new lease on life and make smart choices. You can sabotage yourself and your procedure because it does stretch out, potatoes, pizza, heavy items that you will be able to eat again ALWAYS in moderation. Walk a bit everyday and don't get freaked out. It sux especially if you eat too much you will have pain for 30 minutes. This is a sign you are eating too much. VSGers tend to eat and by the time the pain comes it's too late. Take your time, don't be so hard on yourself and don't worry about what hasn't even happened yet. If u don't feel like getting out at least take a little walk and clear your head. This too shall pass, I promise. 8 years 6 months post surgery...

[deana03 9]

May I ask, what type of surgery did you have and are you taking Vitamins?

[yescobar 42]

May I ask, what type of surgery did you have and are you taking Vitamins?

Yes, I had the gastric sleeve! And I started taking vitamins until yesterday because my Dr said I could take vitamins until i had 1 month post op.

[deana03 9]

That's good, at your 3 month mark... You'll be feeling better. My surgery was with Dr. Alvarez and he was great. Do you know what size bouge you had? Hang in there k!

[Chelenka 827]

Hey sweetie: you are so young and your feelings are so normal. You are trying to cope with a huge physical and psychological change that you chose to undertake. It's hard in the beginning but gets easier after about 6 months or so. I don't think I would have had the courage to do this at age 20. So kuddos to you to make this choice for yourself. People who haven't undergone WLS can't truly understand how freaked out you can get about everything. Try to be as kind and loving to yourself as possible in ways that don't involve food, like go get a manny peddy or a massage, take a bubble bath, you get the idea. Stick to you plan and stay connected here and with your surgeon's team. We're all here to support eachother. Lots of love to you!

[Andrea Harris-Moten 7]

I had a really rough beginning! In fact i was on a picc line for almost a year. This was my first vsg weight loss year. But i assure you things will get better, try not to focus of the present but the future. Look in the mirror everyday and say i made this choice to better me, and there is nothing holding me back but me, I can do it!!! This is what i said and this kept me, much more positive. I was 300lbs may 21,2013, my current weight is 134 lbs as of July 2, 2014. I cant tell you the amount of days in the beginning I thought like you, have faith this too shall pass....

[Stephannie 300]

My only regret is that I didn't do this earlier in my life. Congrats to you!!! It's so worth it.

[Rovobay 920]

Hope things get better for you. you have a strong support group of people on here. hang in there.