Really scared 7 days to go before i'm banded

Stacy429 · April 22, 2007

Hi everyone,

It's me Stacy again.I'm down to 7 days left before the big day. For some reason i am really getting scared about the whole mortality rick issue. I have done all the research and my Dr. seems very comfortable about it but, my little girl just keeps poping in my head. My husbsnd keeps reminding me that i am only 31, do not any health problems (YET) Do not seem to have problems with anestecia and that my BMI is not major (36.9). Seems really high to me!!!! I know in the long run this is my best option. I really do not have a choice. I guess i'm just a over pertective mother. I just Don't want her to have to grow up without a mom. But thats the whole reason for the band. Please if anyone would share there experince with any of these issue it would be greatly apreciated. And guys i am sorry to be such a downer.:cry

Thanks a bunch

Stacy:p

malouse · April 23, 2007

I can understand completely. My husband too is against the surgery for fear of me dying and/or future medical problems associated with altering my digestive system. I am 48 and have BMI of 42 and fat since age 12 but no health problems, no aches/pains either and minimally active. You know your body and your ability to control your eating and lose weight better than anyone. My husband still thinks I could lose weight on my own but then he's not a food addict like myself. I've dieted probably 50 times in my life, usually losing weight but never completely. I tell him I need a tool that forces me to restrict my eating instead of relying on my own will power.

If you really think you've exhausted all other options and gave all past weight loss efforts your best try, then this probably is the only option. Please be realistic though that it's not a quick fix and you will have to learn new habits just like any 'diet'. At least with a band it is reversible so if you find it too hard to deal with, you can remove it (I'm sure different insurance companies have different rules for approving a removal for non-medical reasons).

It is a risk, as is any surgery but there is a risk with obesity too as well as the limitations of being an obese mother and how that affects your children (especially daughters). It is a difficult decision, I completely sympathsize and agree that it's not a decision to take lightly.

Deborah

marys · April 23, 2007

hey stacy,

i understand pretty much exactly how you feel! I was absolutely petrified of the surgery - was convinced I was going to die during surgery and how ironic and bad would that be. I actually cancelled my surgery a few days before and ended up talking (crying like an idiot) to the doctor but in the end feeling better. he said if i came down and decided at the very last second it was perfectly fine and no charge etc. and it all helped me to relax. i don't have kids but was only telling my significant other and boy was I scared. I really think its normal sweetie and i know it's probably worse with your little one but the surgery is very safe and quick and while there can always be something it is very very remote.

Just keep talking about your fears and get it all out and if possible talk to the doctor for reassurance. You will be fine - really the harder part is after banding - smile!

hang in there - you can do it and you will be fine and on your way soon. take care - we are all rooting for you.

kcmcgee · April 23, 2007

I am very nervous about my lap band on May 17th and I am kind of worried that I can not last on the 10 day pre op diet of mostly liquids. Any advice.

Kat817 · April 23, 2007

The pre-op diet is not fun. The surgery is not pain free. The post op diet is not fun. But everyone one of them is so worth it!!! Tuesday will be my 1 year bandiversary---and I have lost 90 pounds. 90 pounds!!! I have gained so much though! Confidence, and power over food! I am in CONTROL!!! I no longer have to shop in plus sizes...I don't have people looking at me in restaurants, like I have no business eating...I can run and I can hula hoop! My 2 youngest grandbabies will never remember me as fat!! I no longer take any meds for high blood pressure. I am overweight according to the BMI charts---I began as morbidly obese. I can ride amusement park rides, and fit in an airplane seat without issue. I can walk 5 miles! I could go on, listing big things--little things---the changes are so many! I am not even touching the surface!

Yes, I was scared too. I had a new grandson, just over a month old, and a granddaughter who had just said Granny for the first time. I did not want to die and miss all that. But the risk is so minute, and the risk with obesity was so high. I knew I was going to be a limited part of their life, my weight was holding me back. I couldn't fit on amusement park rides with them. I couldn't chase bubbles in the yard, or run through a sprinkler. I can now. I understand you are not wanting to take a chance that something might happen during the surgery---did you ask if he had ever lost a patient during lap banding? Mine had not---I DID ask!!! I have never in all the people on this board, heard that any of them, knew of someone to die during banding. It is not a high risk. What it come down to with me was quality of life. I could refuse to take the risk, and live my life in my house, hiding from the world, as the obesity slowly killed me in many other ways. OR I could take that slight risk, and do something about the weight, and actually LIVE my life! Now I am out and going--a lot!!! We took a motorcycle ride to the Grand Canyon---and will be heading to Sturgis in August. I would NEVER have thought about it before, it would have killed my back, plus the looks I would get on the bike at my size (even if I only imagined them)--I would have stayed home...not any more. 90 pounds later, I go wherever I can, and every single day I am thankful that I took that chance, and regained control of my life. Anytime you undergo something like this is it scary. If you weren't nervous, it would be strange!! Imagine the life you can have with your child---it IS worth it!!!

kcmcgee----when you think you can't handle the preop any longer, pop in here and look through the before and after page---grab a bit of incentive, and inspiration. We will all be here to help you through the tough days!

Welcome to LBT you guys---it is an awesome site, they are doing some upgrades, but will soon be back to normal, you will be so thankful to have this site, and the support offered here!!!

When you need us we will be here!!!

Kat

joe7777 · April 23, 2007

I can understand completely. My husband too is against the surgery for fear of me dying and/or future medical problems associated with altering my digestive system. I am 48 and have BMI of 42 and fat since age 12 but no health problems, no aches/pains either and minimally active. You know your body and your ability to control your eating and lose weight better than anyone. My husband still thinks I could lose weight on my own but then he's not a food addict like myself. I've dieted probably 50 times in my life, usually losing weight but never completely. I tell him I need a tool that forces me to restrict my eating instead of relying on my own will power.
If you really think you've exhausted all other options and gave all past weight loss efforts your best try, then this probably is the only option. Please be realistic though that it's not a quick fix and you will have to learn new habits just like any 'diet'. At least with a band it is reversible so if you find it too hard to deal with, you can remove it (I'm sure different insurance companies have different rules for approving a removal for non-medical reasons).

It is a risk, as is any surgery but there is a risk with obesity too as well as the limitations of being an obese mother and how that affects your children (especially daughters). It is a difficult decision, I completely sympathsize and agree that it's not a decision to take lightly.

Deborah

Get him to watch the documentary: Fat: what no one is telling you...just search the forum and you will find i put the link to watch it online.

Also as per another post who said i don't think i can control it myself...this issue is also discussed in the documentary. *loosely from documentary* You have 2 brains...the primitive one is the one telling you to eat....and it always wins in the long run. It's like telling yourself not to increase your breathing after running up 6 flights of stairs...you can fight it all you want at first you may control it...but in the end you will end up speeding up your breathing.

areellady · April 23, 2007

Kat!! That was such a good post! I had tears in my eyes!! It is ALL true!! We are expected, as fat people, to NOT eat in public. Like we are an embarassment!! Oh my, all the wonderful things you can do with your grandkids....how great is that!!!

As for being scared.....I dont think I know of ONE person who IS NOT scared when they go in for surgery..and that is ANY kind of surgery!! This just has a whole lot of other emotions that are attached with it. For instance, if you have carpal tunnel surgery, you also arent having to worry about when you are going to be able to eat again. If you have you hip replaced, you know that when you wake up, you will be able to eat!! I really think this is such an emotional thinkg to undertake anyways, but I totally agree with TALKING IT OUT!! AS much as possible. Even if you just write your fears and feelings in your own personal journal, getting out what you feel, feels a whole lot better than holding it it hun!!! And the people on this forum are right there when you need a lift up. Someone will say something that so totally fits what you feel its like they are your gaurdian angel and it makes you feel SOOOO good to know that you are not alone!! Hang in there!! Deanna

Stacy429 · April 23, 2007

Thanks everyone you all have a heart of gold. I fill alot better just knowing it's not just me being a baby.:clap2: I know i can do this I know i can. Oh and I'm sorry I don't think i made myself clear but my husband is my #1 supporter. Sorry for any misunderstanding. and I will keep intouch with you guys through my jurney. I will never be able to thank you guys enough.

Thanks a bunch:p

Stacy