What did you tell your children?

[livingmore 23]

My surgery is Monday and my almost 7 yr old daughter is already asking me why I am not eating dinner with them (liquid pre op diet phase, ha)!

I personally do not want to get into the details with her because I don't want to project my weight/body images issues on her or even put them in her mind.

I also am only telling my mother and husband about the surgery, so don't want her to know enough details to tell people my surgery business.

How are you handling this with your curious kids that are around this age?

[jennyinky 38]

I told mine what was happening. They are 9, 10, 13 and 16. My sister had the same surgery about 1.5 years ago so they have watched her through it and been a big help to her, actually.

When my sister had surgery, she was very upfront with them and my youngest kids had asked so many questions they knew exactly what the surgery was, what kind of staples, why so much Protein, etc. they had even watched videos of the surgery well before I decided to have it.

When I told them, they all said "but you're not big enough." I was 307 at my first appt. I had recently taken them camping and then had some back problems and explained to them that I didn't want to continue to have those problems. They understood. I asked them not to discuss with their friends. Of course they are a bit older.

I haven't kept my surgery secret though, so that makes a difference.

[cutiecake 178]

My kids are older, 9- and 13. I told the 9 year old, I was having a operation that was going to make me be healthy. I told my 13 year old more. But I've made this into a whole family participation! We all are eating healthier, the kids want to, it's amazing to me, and my hubby is too. I haven't bought bad Snacks since pre op, and they are all ok with it. We are all getting healthy, and that's the word I use, not diet, or losing weight, or getting skinny, just healthy.

[KrissySMD 38]

I told my 10yr old once I had a surgical date. My hubby and I sat down with her and explained it all. Also took questions from her. She's very attached to me. So I had to be honest. I asked her not to talk at school. That I would tell the moms that I thought were loving and supportive. I was dead on except for one who has not spoken to me. But thats ok. I know she'll come around. My daughter has been a great motivator, getting me moving and watching my diet. She's very proud of me. Plus, she wants me to do it all in Orlando this fall.

[LumpySpacePrincess 594]

I told my 8 year old son I was having most of my stomach removed because it causes me problems and how I would be smaller and healthier for it. It actually made me momentarily sad because he rested his head on my belly and said "You can't get small...you make a great pillow!" He's my biggest coach, actually. When I exercise at home he always says "No mom, you have to use the heavy weight now. The green one is too easy!" haha

[jcream 3]

I always told my kids i would be skinny again one day. So i told my boys who are 5 & 6 that I was finally having my "skinny" surgery. I said that I was trying to be healthier and then told them that the doctors were going to operate on my stomach. They asked some questions but were totally okay with it. Hope that helps?!?

[McButterpants 2,846]

I think an age appropriate explanation is that your having an operation that is going to help you get healthier and you will be able to do a lot of things you can't do right now. I don't think there's a need to go deeper into the discussion unless she asks.

I dreaded telling my then-13 year old son. When we finally did a few weeks before surgery, he asked some really good questions. Questions about the doctor, the surgery and how it was going to affect his diet. I started out by just stating a vague explanation of what was happening and let him take the lead. Our conversation didn't last long - maybe 5 minutes. I suspect yours with a 7 year old will be shorter. My son did ask random questions over the next few days.

Best of luck to you!

[Nicci829 39]

I told my 6 & 9 year old exactly what was happening. Primarily for health and secondary to feel better about myself. Told them through ME being healthier WE would be healthier! Only one it seemed to bother was the 2 year old who is too little to understand why mommy wouldnt eat anything he gave her lol Even at young ages they were very supportive and said they wanted whatever made me happy. I believe in being open and honest with my kids especially when this isnt just a lifestyle change for me it involves all those around me. They thought it was so cool seeing the pic of my stomach that was removed! lol

[Luvin_Life125 558]

I have been upfront and honest with my 7 & 10 year old boys. I explained I am having surgery because I have tried and tried to lose weight on my own and have not been successful and that I need to be healthy so I can do more things with them. I also have severe chronic low back pain I have been battling and out of work for almost 3 years for. I have explained losing a large amount of weight could possibly help the pain too. My children understand and ask questions when they come up with them. Both children have also watched YouTube videos of the actual surgery. They are quite fascinated by it.

[SeattleJane 11]

I was honest with my girls 9 and 12. Told them that I wanted to be healthy and live a long life with them. To not be worried and that I love them.

[SherB 220]

My daughter is 7 and I have not told her yet. Her dad abandoned her a year and a half ago, then almost a year ago her grandfather (my dad) was murdered. She is super attached to me and I broke my toe a few months back and she was hysterical. I do not want to worry her in advance but I am not sure yet what I will tell her. Best of luck in whatever you decide.

[jbryant 1]

I have a 4 year old and told her that mommy was going to be sick for a little while but when she was better she was going to be able to play more with her.

[MisforMimi 760]

My three year old daughter has already had surgery to have get tonsils removed and she was super brave and has a good understanding about surgery happens generally to make things better/easier.