Weight Obssesed

[donnafhaas 0]

I was banded almost 2 years ago. The first year I didnt lose much. Then six months ago after having emergency surgery to have my ovary removed, I began to lose weight rapidly. My band has been too tight for about a year now. Almost after every meal I vomit. I know everyones thoughts on this matter, but I don't care because I've lost almost 90 lbs already. At the risk of my life I'm sure. I only have 20 more lbs to go and I'm affraid I wont be able to stop. I think I'm weight obssesed. Its all I think about. I will see random strangers on the street and ask my girlfriend "am I as big as her?" When people who have not seen me in a while say that I look great now and how thin I am it embarrases me. I don't like the compliments because I still see my self as a fat person. I'm scared of the road Im headed down. Does anyone have any suggestions. I'm affraid of what I will become. Nobody who has not had this surgery understands. Will I always be fat in my mind?

[LapBandit 5]

Hi Donna, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Have you considered talking to a therapist? Losing a lot of weight can really play games with your mind and it's OK to need help sorting them out.

I am scared for you because you mention that you vomit after most meals. Being a senior bandster...you already know that this is really not healthy. Who says you won't lose those last 20 lbs if you get a slight unfill...I think you can do it. Plus, keeping your band too tight cannot be very pleasant. Just consider it...what happens if you lose your band altogether because of damage from too much vomiting? Isn't it worth it to lose that last little bit maybe a tad slower from a less-restricted band versus losing the band and having nothing to help you? Just a thought.

At any rate, I'm glad you posted and hope you'll continue to let us know how you're feeling!

[marys 2]

Hey Donna,

I agree with Lapbandit in maybe a counselor would be helpful. It sounds like bulimic behavior to me and that is a vicious cycle compounded by what will happen to your band - throwing up all the time is just a waiting game for the band to slip because no matter how well it is stiched in - it probably can only take so much. I know you want to keep your band and I think you can do it without it being so tight. Thanks for posting - i am sure there are others just like you and it always helps to know you are not alone!

Please hang in there and try to make just one tiny change a day - you CAN do this. And, I don't think weight obsession goes away either - we learn to cope and live with it for the rest of our lives - sometimes we need professional help to do it. Good luck. mary

[lizrbit 0]

I went through that when i was on Phenfen back in 1997. I dropped ninety lbs and was walking around at 120 lb! (for the first time in my life since i was 12). I worked in a small art dept with only men, women were in the extended offices. I was overjoyed to find things that were cute and that fit. in my head, i went younger i think. I became very sorely aware of jealous comments as well as the positive ones. I started wearing LESS clothing (because younger styles have a tendency to be less and to "show off"). I ran every morning and THEN did a hour long cardio routine every morning! I kinda got carried away with it, i know...and even when the bones in my chest were protruding and my husband tried to say something to me about it, i shut it down and wouldnt listen.

it wasnt until they took it off the market, and i started gaining wieght back that i saw a picture of me during my initial wieght gain (with the boney chest, upper arms you could wrap a forfinger around) and kind of freaked out. I found a therapist and started working with her.

I had to keep her on topic. it was difficult. It was very long. I spent two years with her, twice a week. I think overall she did help, in a way i couldnt have accepted help before. She certainly helped me accept the wieght gain (it all came back plus forty lbs). I would interview therapists before deciding on one. Find one that deals with this specific issue and not turn it into "my mom left me alone too much" stuff. While that might be true, and it might feel good to talk about it has NOTHING to do with making your eyes see what they need to see.

Good Luck and Post what happens with you?