Food Sympathy, do you get this?

Daisalana · April 21, 2007

The day after surgery, before our 3 hour drive home.. (It was me, my fiance, my mom, and my grandmother)..they wanted to stop to eat. I was hopped up on demerol, so I was up for anything. They wanted some barbeque.. I didn't like bbq pre-op regardless, so no big deal. I go in with them, they kept asking 'you sure this is going to bother you since you can't have it?' and it really did NOT bother me. The whole dinner, they had these guilty faces, wouldn't look me in the eye, and if I said something looked good, just because I thought it did, they'd think I was sitting there wanting it. I wasn't hungry post-op until the day after this and even then it wasn't a lot of hunger. I had a glass of Water while they ate, and no one believed me that I was not bothered by this.

This week, our family is planning a Tunica trip for May (WOOHOO) which is a mini-las vegas in Mississippi for those who don't know. When we go, we frequent the buffets for most meals, and gorge on room service. I had already thought about this, and by time we go, (End of May), I will be end of mushies or just into solid food. I figured I would browse and get things like eggs, grits, mashed potatos, etc. Not a big deal.. But my mom is already worried that I will have a problem being at the buffet with them while they eat all the 'good food'. I keep trying to explain, I'll be FINE. *I* am not worried about what they are eating and they shouldn't be either. But it seems like every day (I call to give them an update on my status... xxx lbs down and pain is feeling a lot better, still excited about the band, etc.--that's another thing, they thought I'd regret it when I realized the food I couldn't have anymore :rolleyes: ) they bring up 'oh you can't have that, maybe we shouldn't do this' yadda yadda. Our family has a Sunday cook-out every sunday in summers at my parent's house. We started last weekend, I love it. Not just because of the food.. mostly because of the swimming pool and we have a big family so it's a lot of fun. Food is darn good though

They were talking about cancelling this weekend because I can only have clear liquids!! :faint:

I keep telling them I am OK with them all eating, and smelling the food, etc. Right now I only have head hunger for things like that, and I've kept it under control. But they are so worried.. and feeling guilty about eating around me.

Anyone else have this, or a solution? I need them to relax and realize I made this decision WHOLE HEARTEDLY and I am not judging people everytime they eat, or worried about what I can't have. When people eat, I'm thinking about what my body is going to be in a year! :clap2:

edieparks · April 21, 2007

Dear Laura,

You have a good attitude. Your familiy could be saying , you shouldn't have done it, it won't work for you, etc.

It does get even EASIER to be around food .

Just expect their comments , you will get alot of comments . I love the one now , NOW you can eat right ? Like I haven't been eating. lol

Hang in there and look foward to those smaller sizes. I feel so normal in a crowd now not the really fat woman anymore.

your band sister,

edie

areellady · April 22, 2007

The only reason I am not going to be attending as many family barbeques is because NOONE knows except my in laws..none of the brother or sister inlaws...and I want it that way for a while!!! The food doesnt bother me either as of yet..its more of a head hunger like you said..I wonder what that would taste like...not oh my god I WANT FOOD RIGHT NOW kind of thing!! Good luck to you!!Deanna

Carlene · April 22, 2007

Laura...

You have a great family! Just keep telling them that it's okay to eat in front of you. Otherwise, they will never be able to enjoy another family function.

Until you achieve good restriction, you will be able to hold your own at the buffet table. You might want to make good choices, but you will be ABLE to eat pretty much anything, and in a decent quantity. So don't worry about Tunics. (And I'm jealous, by the way.)

By the time you get a few fills under your belt (literally), they should be used to seeing you with your little salad plate and your half cup of food. Restriction is a gradual process.

Daisalana · April 22, 2007

Thanks for the input!! I think I'll just have to wait till they get used to it, and insist NOTHING is cancelled until they do. My family supported me 100% and parents paid for it for me.. I think they're afraid I won't be able to handle it, because (obviously) in the past, I am obsessed with food. But that's changing :rolleyes:

Daisalana · April 22, 2007

I had to post-it just happened again!! :phanvan

Mom just called and asked how I'm feeling. Then I said "Where are you?" because she was on my dad's cell.. and she goes 'we were driving around'-something they've NEVER EVER done. She rarely goes anywhere.. much less drivin around for the sake of drivin around. So I said 'To where?' and she said 'Just driving'. So I thought, they went to dinner and she doesn't want to say dinner like it's gonna hurt me? Then I hear my dad in the background ordering birthday cake ice cream :rolleyes:

So I Said 'so you went to get ice cream' and she laughs and goes 'Yes, I was going to see if you wanted us to get you and Russell (my df) some, then I remembered.. SORRY!!!' And I said "It's OK! I don't want ice cream, but you could still bring Russell some.' she goes "I don't want to do that to you, he can get some when he comes over tomorrow". Grr. I reitterated, it does NOT bother me! In fact, I just ate my dinner of chicken broth and I'm quite full at the moment.

Just ranting..

kyethra · April 23, 2007

LOL. They will get used to it. At first my DH asked if it was ok for him to order pizza and eat around me because I didn't allow him to eat with me around when I was preop because of the intense hunger from my preop diet. After I got banded, different story. Explain to them that you just had something sewed to your stomach so you're not too hungry at the moment so you really don't care if they are eating. They will get it eventually.

Autumn444 · April 23, 2007

I am already 3.5 weeks postop, and have done wonderfully. As for family, my mother in law had the gastric bypass and eats more food than I ever thought one with such surgery could hold.

So, needless to say, when I messure my food ect, it makes her feel like I am trying to show her up! Problems with family can be jaw dropping at times. We just can do what we can do and be happy with the pounds melting away!

You are doing so great! Keep us up to date! Love your post!

dwarden · April 23, 2007

I think it's kinda nice that they want to help you in their own way. My family did some of the same things. They watched it be so difficult for me for so many years before the band and wanted to be supportive. They're trying in their own way to be thoughtful. You're lucky to have a family who wants to take your feelings in to considerations.