Need help with what to tell work.

[snowkitten 371]

Im really hoping someone can help me figure out what to tell my boss. I HATE to lie. It doesn’t come easily to me but I know its necessary in this case. I work for a very large hospital (billing part) that requires both pto and advance notice for time off. The problem with that is I don’t have any pto, and probably never will as Im on FMLA for a chronic disease (Immune Deficiency). Because I don’t have to give advanced notice or have pto for anything related to my immune deficiency I would like to tell my boss my surgery is for something related. Technically the wls IS related (obesity lowers the immune system, there are increased infections associated with it, and my treatment isn’t working because Im at the max dose because of my weight); however I don’t want to tell her im having wls because I don’t think they will believe me when I say its for my immune system (she’s kinda anti-wls).

I know by law I don’t have to tell my boss any details, but im kinda close to her and tell her everything so It would look funny if I all of a sudden decided to be secretive. This would especially be true since were both coders and we tend to want to know everything about medical.

SO my question is this; do you have any ideas of what surgery I could tell my boss that im having that is related to the stomach/immunity.

Im thinking something like worm removal (since she knows I have a Protein deficiency and this would be consistant) or intestine obstruction. Something just embarrassing enough that she wont ask questions. Any ideas??

[DarbiMolly 188]

Why do you have to tell him "why" you are having surgery? That should be covered under privacy legislation. My boss only knows I'm having surgery. not why.

[snowkitten 371]

I dont HAVE to tell my boss why. but like i said, were pretty close so it would look suspicious if i refused to tell her what it was.

[Beach Lover 1,084]

I dont HAVE to tell my boss why. but like i said, were pretty close so it would look suspicious if i refused to tell her what it was.

I didn't tell my boss or co-workers anything for several months afterwards. However, I had the summer off to recover and come back to work. If you are struggling with being a co-worker and friend as it sounds like you are then my guess is you will be more uncomfortable with the secret than actually telling her. I truly understand your struggle and I hate keeping something from someone close to me. This is a sensitive surgery with many opinions. Look closely at your relationship and how she would handle it. If you think she would be supportive than talk with her it will probably only bring you closer and you will have a friend for support. On top of that you will be relieved of feeling dishonest even though you aren't because it is no one's business but your own. This is your journey and I hope you find the answer that will allow you to enjoy the process. Best of luck to you!

[muhsi1 19]

one surgery that is often done at the same time as a wls is hiatus hernia repair.

the scars are the same and you would have the same discomfort.

nothing would seem out of place.

often after ann hiatus hernia repair, if it is too tight patients may experience some dumping and all the symptoms that one has with wls in the early days.

laparoscopic hiatus hernia repair would be the most appropriate and closest to the truth in syptoms and appearance. look at the 2 procedures on you tube and you will see that your cover up will be successfull.

[TonyaNKy 79]

When you start losing weight she's going to know something's up. Then it will be extremely uncomfortable since you two are close.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Just tell your boss you are having surgery and it's personal. End of story. You owe her nothing else.

[BabySheldon 158]

^^^^^Im with LipstickLady....its no ones business and this is about you, your health and your journey ....your friendships should never be put to test because you're prioritizing something so important and so sacred...just my thoughts...

Shel

[a.conners 15]

I also work for a large healthcare facility and had to submit a medical leave request. I just said I was having laperoscopic surgery, didn't elaborate for HR sake or anyone else for that matter. Of course 6 weeks and 46 pounds later, I am very open about it. Several people in our office have had wls and I have seen what my insurance paid the hospital and can assure you that my one week off was nothing compared to the thousands they raked in!

[snowkitten 371]

I also work for a large healthcare facility and had to submit a medical leave request. I just said I was having laperoscopic surgery, didn't elaborate for HR sake or anyone else for that matter. Of course 6 weeks and 46 pounds later, I am very open about it. Several people in our office have had wls and I have seen what my insurance paid the hospital and can assure you that my one week off was nothing compared to the thousands they raked in!

How did things go when they all discovered what your surgery was for? We're they upset with you for taking the time off?

my boss is new and relies HEAVILY on me. I've hired a new employee so we won't be in the hole with workload, but I do the work of 3 people so I still forsee a backlog and I'm concerned I will be frowned upon for taking even more time off

[snowkitten 371]

Thank you all for your input. I appreciate the ideas.

[a.conners 15]

Nobody really said anything. All my coworkers have been very supportive and positive. I am the only person within the entire system who monitors and manages pricing for all the billable products, so it was kind of a pinch because when my boss has to fill in he is the first to admit it won't be nearly as accurate as when I do it. Regardless, I took my leave and had the surgery. If I were having a sex change and they protested wouldn't that be sexual discrimination? This surgery was deemed medically necessary and if denied leave wouldn't that be weight discrimination? That's why there are laws to protect us and ultimately we are protected, nobody knows that better than a healthcare facility!

[Steph W-O 75]

Hernia or fall bladder surgeries are similar. I didn't tell my boss anything. That IS your right to keep your health information private. . Good luck!

[marycw1955 40]

I initially told my boss I was having elective surgery. She did not question the procedure until I began the pre-op phase and noticed my weight loss. She asked if I was ok and I ended up telling her. Since I don't know the real recovery time, I put in for 5 days and wanted her to know it could be a few more if needed. Since she is a nurse, she understood and I'm glad I did not have to continue the secrecy. There's enough to be anxious about, I didn't want to continue to add to it..My surgery is 6/25 and I'm starting to have those pre-op doubts but my will is winning out. See you on the post-op side!!!

[GottaDoSomethin' 31]

Thanks so much for this thread. I'm struggling with the same thing. I got a promotion and start my new position July 1st but am hoping to have surgery sometime in July. Of course, my employer doesn't know about the surgery yet since I didn't want to reveal that in the interview. It's difficult for me to take time off with a new position but I can't wait because my company is changing insurance providers in Sept and the new insurance company does not cover WLS the same. I am just going to tell them I am having laparoscopic surgery that has been in the works awhile. They might be upset initially but they will be ok once I'm back, right?