Should I tell my boss I am having WLS or just say I need medical leave?

[crazzeescrapper 125]

I struggled with this too. Originally I thought I wasn't going to tell anyone, but decided to tell my boss and the person that is my back-up. Both of them have their own weight issues, so that helps with deciding to tell them.. I work in a small office and have known them both for 10 years, it's a pretty close group . They were very supportive of my decision and promised to not tell anyone else. Which I believe they haven't because you can tell when other people know stuff by the way they act. Plus some of them still wouldn't be able to keep themselves from saying something to me. I explained I didn't want to tell other people until I return because I don't want to hear the questions and opinions before getting it done. I think it's going to be impossible to keep the secret after I return, which I'm ok with. I'm at piece with my decision to get this done and won't care what they think afterwards. There is not much of a turnover at my job, so most people know I've been struggling with weight since they've known me. I'm honestly going to be surprised if people will have negative comments after I tell them. Then again you never know!

[Pookeyism 1,143]

I actually put it off to January of '12 when I was told I needed surgery by the first week of December. However, I had a stomach tumor that didn't wait on my permission to reduce my tummy.

Hmmm...I don't know, I have a very small office. They can't make you provide information on what is happening while you are on medical leave. Do you think it would provide understanding for needing tome for doctor visits, etc. or would it create issues?

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I actually put it off to January of '12 when I was told I needed surgery by the first week of December. However, I had a stomach tumor that didn't wait on my permission to reduce my tummy.

Hmmm...I don't know, I have a very small office. They can't make you provide information on what is happening while you are on medical leave. Do you think it would provide understanding for needing tome for doctor visits, etc. or would it create issues?

We saw our surgeon 3 weeks after surgery (for 10 minutes), 3 months (for 10 minutes), and now set 1 year out. I cannot see why you would have to be off much. We saw the NUT once after surgery, and cancelled tomorrow's visit because we get everything we need from our group on Bariatric Pal. You can do that during a 1 hour lunch period. We both had hernias repaired with our surgery. A lot of people just say they are having hernia surgery which is true. Good luck.

[Jersrose43 837]

I told my boss last year and she reacted very negatively.

I proceeded anyway.

As she realized I was serious she is now accepting of it. Not exactly like she can do anything about it.

I also told my coworkers and my direct employees.

I don't care who knows really. Their small mind opinions are there own

[HaddocksEyes 205]

UPDATE - My boss asked me yesterday why I was having surgery and I just didn't feel comfortable telling her. She was super cool about my decision to keep it to myself.

But, as someone else pointed out, I will eventually have to spill the Beans, so to speak. It's hard to keep something like this a secret because the weight loss coupled with the time out of work is a huge indicator.

I think I will be okay with being open with people later on. In fact, if I can help someone else make a change to improve their quality of life, whether with diet and exercise or with surgery, that is always a very positive thing.

[JCP 619]

Tell them only what you need to in order to protect your privacy and feel comfortable. Don't feel guilty! This is a private matter and it's up to you what you say; you don't owe details to anyone. Just say it is vacation if you want. But if you are requesting some sort of medical leave, just say you are having a medical procedure done and leave it at that. If you decide to share more later, then you can always share anything you want, whenever you want! No guilt!

[JCP 619]

Wow, Linda, HR spread that? I hope you know that person could be fired and even prosecuted for a HIPAA violation. You could also sue. I assume you don't want to do any of that but HR needs to be schooled and how. I would be all over them if they did that to me. It is illegal, unprofessional, and extremely unethical.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

JCP, on 19 Jun 2014 - 13:53, said:

Wow, Linda, HR spread that? I hope you know that person could be fired and even prosecuted for a HIPAA violation. You could also sue. I assume you don't want to do any of that but HR needs to be schooled and how. I would be all over them if they did that to me. It is illegal, unprofessional, and extremely unethical.

Actually JCP I read that in a thread, and it made me realize you cannot trust anyone if you sincerely want your privacy. I worked in a Government building and gossip was the foundation for many years. So glad I am retired LOL.

[mrslb5 333]

I didn't tell my boss what i was out for I decided to keep my office out of my journey, last year two ladies where I work had WLS and it was the talk for months people watching what they eat and how the progress went so I decided to keep it to myself. i just let my boss know I was having a procedure done.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Good for you mrslb5!

[bikrchk 1,313]

I "thought" I'd tell no one, but ended up telling everyone in the end. Once neighbor asked if I'd been sick, another didn't recognize me until I walked up my driveway so the change has been... hard to hide. Now a days I tell because you never know who needs to see the example you are. I feel amazing and I'm happy to share the tool I used to help me get my health back! I've had no negative reactions. If I ever get any, I really don't give a cr@p if they're not on my side. This is MY journey and I wouldn't trade these results for the world!

[janeta16 15]

I didn't tell my job either but I plan to be out for at least 8 weeks I'm a nurse and my job is very demanding.I am hoping everyone will just think I lost weight while having female surgery that's what I told them...lol.

[Travelmego 235]

Just tell them you are getting hernia surgery. It's close enough and will also explain the special diet you have to be on post surgery.

Edited June 20, 2014 by Travelmego

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I told people before surgery I was having a hernia repaired (which was true). I didn't have to do any paperwork or anything for the time off because we have PTO (paid time off) that doesn't differentiate between sick or vacation. I told 2 of the candy pushers about the bypass because they are very good friends and drop candy off at my desk when they know I'm stressed. So, it was pretty important they know or they would have left "get well soon" candy on my desk for when I got back.

I am telling people freely now, why not? So far everyone has been supportive and 2 of my friends I told are interested in surgery themselves, so I can kind of be a poster child for them.

I feel better just telling the full truth rather than trying to come up with other stories. Nobody at work can stop you from having the surgery when the doctors and insurance company agree it's necessary. And, I can take a few negative Nelly's and their comments. This was for me and about me and I'm satisfied with what I've done.

[Jersrose43 837]

I would not lie and say it's related to your existing condition

That condition is covered by FMLA and if you don't apply for new FMLA you are not protected