Are your family & friends telling you to stop losing weight?

[BeatrizS1974<3 sleeve 94]

Yes. I hear it every day. I am 7 lbs away from my surgeons goal and 13 lbs away from my personal goal and my friends think i am crazy. I don't care what they say. If I lose the 13 lbs and think I am too skinny then I will gain a couple of cpounds until I am comfortable with myself.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

@@BeatrizS1974<3 sleeve You look fabulous!!!

[BeatrizS1974<3 sleeve 94]

@@BeatrizS1974<3 sleeve You look fabulous!!!

Thanks!

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Yup, I've had a few people (all older, overweight women...) tell me that I need to stop losing weight and/or ask "How much more are you planning to lose?" in disgusted voices.

It does annoy me, but I try not to let it show and I'll just shrug or say, "I don't have a goal in mind."

I don't feel like I'm too thin at all, I mean I'm 5 '6 and weigh 159 lbs. Technically I am still in the overweight range. I met my surgeon's goal (160 lbs) last week. My personal goal is 150lbs, though I'd LOVE to get down to 140 lbs (so long as stuff doesn't start to sag).

I think I look super thin to people because:

#1: I was fat for so long so it's a huge contrast

#2: Obesity is such an epidemic in the US, that "overweight/average sized" people look super skinny because our idea of "normal" is so much bigger here than in other countries (I find this especially true when I go to the store and buy clothes. I can wear all smalls and sometimes extra-smalls now even though I am far from a small person. My friend, who really IS a small b/c she's like 5'5 and weighs 108lbs, has to shop in the children and teen section because all the smalls in ladies sections are way too big for her)

#3: Haters gonna hate (I'm only half joking)

Edited June 26, 2014 by Comfy_Blue

[BeagleLover 1,020]

Interesting point-- that our perceptions are skewed as to what is normal!

[I will what I want 271]

Yup, I've had a few people (all older, overweight women...) tell me that I need to stop losing weight and/or ask "How much more are you planning to lose?" in disgusted voices. It does annoy me, but I try not to let it show and I'll just shrug or say, "I don't have a goal in mind." I don't feel like I'm too thin at all, I mean I'm 5 '6 and weigh 159 lbs. Technically I am still in the overweight range. I met my surgeon's goal (160 lbs) last week. My personal goal is 150lbs, though I'd LOVE to get down to 140 lbs (so long as stuff doesn't start to sag). I think I look super thin to people because: #1: I was fat for so long so it's a huge contrast #2: Obesity is such an epidemic in the US, that "overweight/average sized" people look super skinny because our idea of "normal" is so much bigger here than in other countries (I find this especially true when I go to the store and buy clothes. I can wear all smalls and sometimes extra-smalls now even though I am far from a small person. My friend, who really IS a small b/c she's like 5'5 and weighs 108lbs, has to shop in the children and teen section because all the smalls in ladies sections are way too big for her) #3: Haters gonna hate (I'm only half joking)

These are fabulous points...so fabulous, I fact, I used them today during a discussion with a good friend about my upcoming surgery. She told me not to lose to much because "people often get to thin aft WLS). After I mentioned these points she totally got it - especially the part about how we are so used to seeing certain people large that it informs our identity of them. Anyway - thanks for your insight!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Yes but we know our bodies so there is no point in worrying about what people think.

[Jen35 283]

I set my goal at 150 thinking I would never get there (I started pre-op in May 2013 at 244). But now, a year out, I'm at 150. I'm happy at this weight but it is at the top of my healthy weight range for my height (5'5). I was 130 in high school (a LONG time ago) so I know I still look healthy at that weight - I wouldn't want to go lower than that. I'm in a size 10, sometimes 8 depending. So it surprises me when people tell me to stop losing. I was on a work trip where many of my co-workers hadn't seen me in 9 months. One person kept telling me not to lose anymore and that she is worried about me. Seriously? It's not like I'm anorexic and I've been at this weight for several months now. I'm not super skinny. There were several other people there that are smaller than me and no one comments on their weight. But that is their normal, my normal has been almost 100 pounds heavier, so people are used to seeing me that way.

It amazes me that because I've had WLS, people feel free to comment on my weight. They ask what I weigh now (hello?? how much do YOU weigh). And I have a good friend who is heavier than me (and pregnant) who is so down on her weight. I can't go shopping with her right now because I was trying on a swim suit and commented about not liking the way it fit and she went OFF on me. That I should be happy that I'm so thin, and look at all her cellulite. But I can bet you she wouldn't have said that to one of her friends who has always been thin. I'm giving her a break because of the preggers hormones, but it hurt my feelings. Just because I've lost weight doesn't mean my body is perfect or I love the way everything fits me. I still have some body issues. Sometimes it's just really hard to relate to people after WLS, usually because of their perceptions or expections. It can really suck!

[enjoyinglife 313]

I just had my nine month post-op follow up and my doctor and my NUT are a little concerned about me. They both feel I have lost enough weight. I told them I have not. I have had family members, co-workers, and friends ask me how much more I plan on loosing. I tell them I have no idea but ten more pounds would be awesome. They all look at me like I am crazy. I probably am, but I am having so much fun that I don't really care what anyone thinks. I am in uncharted waters and until the boat starts to sink, I am going to keep sailing. Awesome topic!!!

Edited June 30, 2014 by trever

[terry1118 1,274]

@terry1118 Wow, you really need to update your stats!!! Congrats!

Sorry! My desktop died and my tablet limitations won't let me update (or if it does, I can't figure it out - I'm a low-tech person who still uses an eight year old flip phone!). :-)

[sassy14 178]

Great topic! I hear this too. I had surgery 2/28/13 and started at 291. This morning-168. I am 5'6 and want to lose another 10-20 lbs. I am in a size 12 or 14--- huge change from 24-26!

I have not told my parents I had surgery. They are 87 ( I'm 57) and very judge mental and I see them only a few times a year. However, my mother after congratulating me on FINALLY losing weight, said you have a lot of wrinkles! Really!!!!! I have upped my moisturizer, but dear lord.

My friends are supportive and tell me daily I look great. But the best thing was a friend who said to me, "you were always professional and dressed well. Now you're just beautiful!"

Oh, and I am having that awful skin removed and an abdominal lift. The doc says there is about 10 lbs of skin, fat that will go there. It's more than just cosmetic as I have rashes and several hernias so all will be repaired in one surgery.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

It's really sad that people seem to comment on someone's weight, etc. in a way that makes them feel like an object, and that's it's OK to do so. I can imagine it would hurt your feelings!

[Andrew0929 1,101]

As of late everyone is telling me to stop losing weight and rather than trying to justify my continued efforts to lose I just tell them I've stopped .

While I'm close to my original goal I may revise that as my love handles and inner thighs are still sporting more fat than I'd like.

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

As of late everyone is telling me to stop losing weight and rather than trying to justify my continued efforts to lose I just tell them I've stopped . While I'm close to my original goal I may revise that as my love handles and inner thighs are still sporting more fat than I'd like.

That's my strategy too! I am working on maintenance now but if I happen to lose 10 pounds while working it out I don't need to advertise that. I lose so slow at this point people,e who see me every day won't notice.

[Teachamy 1,042]

I set my goal at 150 thinking I would never get there (I started pre-op in May 2013 at 244). But now, a year out, I'm at 150. I'm happy at this weight but it is at the top of my healthy weight range for my height (5'5). I was 130 in high school (a LONG time ago) so I know I still look healthy at that weight - I wouldn't want to go lower than that. I'm in a size 10, sometimes 8 depending. So it surprises me when people tell me to stop losing. I was on a work trip where many of my co-workers hadn't seen me in 9 months. One person kept telling me not to lose anymore and that she is worried about me. Seriously? It's not like I'm anorexic and I've been at this weight for several months now. I'm not super skinny. There were several other people there that are smaller than me and no one comments on their weight. But that is their normal, my normal has been almost 100 pounds heavier, so people are used to seeing me that way.

It amazes me that because I've had WLS, people feel free to comment on my weight. They ask what I weigh now (hello?? how much do YOU weigh). And I have a good friend who is heavier than me (and pregnant) who is so down on her weight. I can't go shopping with her right now because I was trying on a swim suit and commented about not liking the way it fit and she went OFF on me. That I should be happy that I'm so thin, and look at all her cellulite. But I can bet you she wouldn't have said that to one of her friends who has always been thin. I'm giving her a break because of the preggers hormones, but it hurt my feelings. Just because I've lost weight doesn't mean my body is perfect or I love the way everything fits me. I still have some body issues. Sometimes it's just really hard to relate to people after WLS, usually because of their perceptions or expections. It can really suck!

I have decided to start asking people what they weigh when they ask me about my weight. What an excellent idea! Should make people understand what it feels like to be a WLS loser. (And it's good for my research into the evil minds of others...Mwa haa haa...)