Obese Kids

[msfitn2014 248]

I was wondering for the ones that have children are your children obese? I was told most obese kids parents are obese?

My daughter is 21 and wears a size 4 and I think I have made her so health conscious that she is constantly on a diet and eating salads and eliminating meat because she doesn't want to look like me....My highest ever has been 16/18 18 tops and 16 bottoms. My lowest has been a size 8 bottom 10 top so she has NEVER seen me small. When I was in highschool I wore 7/8 thru 9/10.

[virtualpisces 26]

I have a 12 year old son. He is very tall (5’11), and was average weight until he broke his leg a couple months ago. Without the activity and eating what he wanted he is now about 20 pounds overweight. He feels like he looks like me, but I don’t think he does. If he stays active and eats sensibly, he is at a healthy weight. If not, he puts on weight like crazy. I believe genetics play a huge role in relation to obesity and our children, but I also believe we can create a safe environment to teach them about food for power and the right kind of exercise, etc. He has so much pressure in middle school to be “thin” not even fit. Kids tease him. It’s even worse for the girls.

With that said, I come from a family of 3 girls, I’m the oldest. Our mom was overweight most of our life (size 16-20) and was a 4/6 in high school. She has since figured she has a thyroid problem, lost all the weight and has maintained a size 8 for 10 years now. Even with that she still obsesses over weight. Our dad is 6'6, 380 and has been our whole life. Weight was ALWAYS been an issue and so much value was placed upon it growing up - from my mom and her sisters, not my dad. He is a huge bear and everyone loves him showing us size didn't really matter, but the pull of the ladies with unhealthy body image crap all the time, we struggled. We were all athletes but even with that, we had to watch what we ate. Unfortunately, my middle sister and I (at different times) both developed eating disorders partly because we were so paranoid we would look like my mom, partly because we had control issues – there is a lot of psychology that doesn’t involve food in eating disorders. Our mom had NO idea we were both anorexic and bulimic. Fortunately, our youngest sister, who was younger by 9 years – this matters to an extent because she views me as a mom of sorts- never developed an eating disorder. We made sure to tell her how beautiful she was at any weight. We encouraged her to eat healthy and were always active with her. When she started to gain weight after college, about 65 lbs, she refused to be “like us” and tackled her “weight genes” as I like to call them then. My middle sister after college gained 80 lbs. Both of them were able to loose their weight and they are able to maintain it by remaining very active, exercising 3-5 times a week and eating a high Protein diet. They “cheat” on occasion, but if they ate “normal” and didn’t exercise, I believe they would look more like me.

With all of that said, your daughter is right to be health conscious – but to a “healthy” extent. Not to avoid looking like you per se, but so her weight doesn’t get out of control. As a parent, I know it is horrible to watch and we don’t want to watch our kids stress out over what they eat. You have made a very important decision to change your life and become healthy. Once you show her by example how to be healthy, maybe she will be open to modifying her behavior some.

[msfitn2014 248]

@virtualpisces....wow thanks

[DylanRae 71]

For the record, I'm still very young and don't plan on having children anytime soon. And even when I do I am considering adopting.

Anyway I wanted to see if my two cents would be helpful here.

As an overweight daughter from a long line of overweight, mothers I happen to be the smallest in comparison to my previous generations at this age. I have always loved my mom and grandma regardless of their size. In my mind this is how she is, how can I love her for what she isn't.

As I developed into my teens, when weight really seemed to matter to me, I noticed that "I don't want to be like my mom" feeling. Also by this point my grandmother had already passed at age 59 from diabetes.

(For better understanding, my mother also suffers from mental illness and she is/was an addict to several drugs. This caused me to be put into foster care by the age of 14)

So during this crazy time of my early teens, my mother would drop weight within weeks. I was averagely a size 16/18 jeans. And she was probably closer to the high 20s to low 30s. So when she got down to my size she would dance around in my jeans. This was upsetting to me for obvious reasons, (mom is stealing my pants!!!) But more so she was happy that her use of crack was making her skinny. And I hated it!

My point I suppose is that it is hard to watch your parent be overweight your whole life then suddenly after years and years of valiant attempts to lose weight, they finally do because of the use of a drug (something that I was raised to never even think about) really turned my world upside down.

I think it is important to really be clear about why someone is overweight and also clear about how they are going about changing their behaviors. Open communication, even when the conversation is hard to talk about, is super important in any situation.

Now in my early 20s, only getting bigger, I realize that I still love my mom for who she is regardless of her size, or even behavior. And regardless of the choices she makes in her life, the choices I make are NOT going to be in-spite of her. My choices are for me, and in some way for my future children. There is nothing healthy about doing something so you "don't end up like them".

(Hopes this was easy to fallow, not the best with the English language.)

Dylan

[SherB 220]

My daughter is not overweight but I feel like I constantly worry about it for her. I never talk about diets or weight loss or negative thoughts about my own weight. She is only 7 and trust me, they already talk about it in school. She has asked me several times if she is fat? Do her legs look too big. Her pants make her butt look big. I was shocked since I only tell her to eat healthy. Obviously she can see I am overweight but she would never say anything about it. Plus I am her main role model so that does not help any for me to try to get her to eat healthy and she can see I am not doing such a good job myself. I would hate for her to be overweight. I cannot wait to have my surgery. I hope I am not messing her up. =(

[Roo101769 742]

Being the obese daughter of an obese mother with an obese sister and a heavy set grandma I vowed my own daughter would not be allowed to be obese. Fortunately she does heavily take after her father's genes and has not had weight issues thus far. ( She is only 5 though) If allowed she will eat all day. Her tastes do at least include fresh fruit ( grapes) and yogurt along with cheese. I try not to have junk in the house knowing how she is.( and how I am for that matter) It has been a huge concern for me that she not be allowed to get heavy. I know the difficulty and social stigma of being a "fat kid", I don't want her to go through that. Plus, it is such a life long battle if children become obese. I also have a very active child. She would much rather be outside running around or riding her bike than being inside playing video games or watching tv. I encourage this behavior because I know it is the best for her. I have to thank a higher being that, so far, my daughter seems to have dodged the "fat bullet" that plagued me from a very early age. I hope this trend continues as she grows older. Of course mommy changing her lifestyle and habits and working on herself will only help further influence my girl to stay healthy.

[virtualpisces 26]

SherB, you sound like a VERY loving mom. I have tears in my eyes when I read your last line... "I hope I'm not messing her up" ... I too have thought that at times about my son and it can be crippling. What I have come to realize is that if I love him, teach him and make effort to be present every day in his life, he will love my imperfect self! I can imagine your little girl feels the same way She is going to beem with joy with you when you reach your goal, not because you look fantastic, but because you feel fantastic and that light will beam into her.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

It's a very interesting topic. I think both nature and nurture come into play here. For the nurture side of the equation -- obese people are more likely to have obese pets than normal weight people are. Clearly they are not passing obesity genes on to their pets! But people who have trouble controlling their own food intake apparently aren't good at limiting it for other household members.

http://www.embracepetinsurance.com/hot-topics/fat-owners-fat-pets

And for a really interesting read . . . this study indicates that children born to mothers who had bariatric surgery had healthier genes than their siblings born earlier, prior to mom's weight loss surgery. Yes, somehow the surgery affected the genetic makeup of the children born after and made them healthier.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/moms-who-had-weight-loss-surgery-may-pass-on-healthier-genes/

[a.conners 15]

I come from a family of overweight people. Parents, siblings, and now nieces and nephews. Due to infertility my children are both adopted and neither have the genetics the rest of us battle. Just the same, I have made a huge effort to ensure food is never a reward. The kids have a junk/snack drawer with everything from holiday candy to fruit Snacks and granola bars that is just always there, so it's never really a treat or abused. They can go to the drawer or the top shelf of the fridge where their yogurt, applesauce, Jello etc. is. Most times they puck the fridge. I think it's a combination of genetics and behavior. I'm not saying I am parent of the year, but in the area of nutrition I am proud of the foundation my kids have and hope they never struggle like I did.

[madwife2002 110]

I have 4 children

3 are super slim

1 my youngest is 13 and she is overweight for her age-from birth she had an incredible appetite, and will eat anything

I have had this sleeve done to improve my health and eating habits so that I show my daughter the right way.

By this I don't mean surgery-as I haven't told her what I have done-but to show her good healthy food choices

My husband went on a diet he was slightly overweight so in our house, all bad snack foods have been eliminated and healthy Snacks put in their place

The healthy eating started in April and without starving her she is down 7 lbs and is not gaining any weight at this time.

[msfitn2014 248]

thanks for all the wonderful input

[lylabelle 257]

I have an almost 7 year old and really worry about her too. She has my problem with just not eating if she doesn't feel like it. There are times I send her to school with lunch and it basically comes back full. She loves salad and eats less than her thin class mates by she has serious thighs and butt (like her mom).

She loves meat and will eat Protein and fruit must of the time (she just has 3 links turkey sausage for Breakfast most mornings). I just hate hate the genetics factor. I'll work hard as she gets older to hopefully get her to work out as she won't ever be super thin but she can be "normal" and strong. I know I'll have to help her fight to not be fat.

[par1959 470]

The odds go up for obese parents raising obese kids. After read many posts on this site there are many that don’t know their way around a kitchen and migrate to the prefab crap. If this is what the kids learn then staying at a correct weight will be difficult. I gained my weight later in life and as a family we always ate dinner at the dining room table. No TV or other distractions. We also shopped the perimeter of the grocery store. Very little was what I call prefab food. It was always interesting when my kids brought friends over for dinner. Guests had to select what to eat out of what was served. The dinner table was a new concept to most and we encouraged them to try different food items. For most kids eating at our house ended up being special and they as adults never pass up an invitation. My wife is an excellent cook. There were the exceptions that would only eat pre packaged crap and fast food. Life is too short to be a picky eater.

[DylanRae 71]

I have recently been learning about epigenetics... It is crazy interesting. I thought of it because I continue to hear you guys mention the "fat" gene. We'll read this article, among any others you can find in the internet and then start to think about how you can change that "fat" gene!

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/04/090412081315.htm

You can also just google epigenetics and read from the sources you trust.

[Bluesea71 698]

I have two kids who are 12 and 15. Both are of normal weight and extremely fit. My son is outside running around or skate boarding whenever he can. My daughter is a competitive dancer and takes 12 plus hours of dance per week. They both naturally gravitate toward healthy food choices. I count my blessings everyday that they have a different relationship with food and their bodies than I did at their age.