Frustrated (((rant)))

[Pretty_In_Purple 112]

Every time I eat my mother is like "You're gonna stretch your new stomach!" I have to eat! I will die of starvation if I don't eat! Get off my back! and it would help if you wouldn't bring junk food in the damn house! Out of sight, out of mind. My mother is not suppose to eat junk food. She is on dialysis yet she is constantly bringing junk into the house and no matter how hard I try sometimes I have bad days and I eat some of the crap she brings into our home. I live with her because I love her and she is on dialysis and shouldn't live alone but she should respect that I have a problem and do her best to help me! Not tempt me! and then chastise me! If I had self control I wouldn't have had to have 85% of my stomach taken out!!! Ugh! It makes me so f'ing mad!!!

[mentalistfan 189]

I have realized I will not be looking forward to be under a microscope after surgery. Yes, you do have to eat, try your best to not let her aggravate you.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I have my own cupboard for my food that is away from my hubbies junk food. He goes there and I go to my cupboard for Snacks....

Eating at a meal, well you can pretty much eat what you want.....Just make sure the dense Protein goes in first...I am sure you know the drill......

You got this.......

[getnhealthyintx 281]

I know what your saying. I dont live with my mother but i spend a lot of time at her house. She too is 25-30 lbs heavy type 2 diabetic. But addicted to sugars. Oreos and twizzlers abound in her home. When i visit she is constantly snacking, then when I fix a nice meal she is not hungry and says well I cant eat a lot like Used to. I upset her when I say Im going home for dinner, she doesnt understand that I dont eat Hamburger helper. She is a good support she just does not understand. I can only hope a little of what Im doing will stick and she will learn something.

[Travelmego 235]

I hope you feel better soon!

Edited June 24, 2014 by Travelmego

[JillC878 59]

• RJ'S/beginning

I have my own cupboard for my food that is away from my hubbies junk food. He goes there and I go to my cupboard for Snacks....

This is a great idea! It has not been a huge day to day problem in my house, but there are days that I just want "something" and this might help.

I do hear what everyone is saying. I can only imagine how hard it is to hear that stuff all the time. The only one that tells me that stuff is me! My sister had bypass at least 17 years ago and has gained all of the weight plus more back. I have not even told her or others in my family because I don't want the judgment (my mom, husband, and select friends know). I had a lot of hesitation is this because of what my sister did. I am not her and she is NOT me!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

• RJ'S/beginning

I have my own cupboard for my food that is away from my hubbies junk food. He goes there and I go to my cupboard for Snacks....

This is a great idea! It has not been a huge day to day problem in my house, but there are days that I just want "something" and this might help.

I do hear what everyone is saying. I can only imagine how hard it is to hear that stuff all the time. The only one that tells me that stuff is me! My sister had bypass at least 17 years ago and has gained all of the weight plus more back. I have not even told her or others in my family because I don't want the judgment (my mom, husband, and select friends know). I had a lot of hesitation is this because of what my sister did. I am not her and she is NOT me!

You are right! You are not your sister. First thing first is that you admit you are a food addict. Second you fix your brain. Learn why you are a food addict and what brought you to this decision. Then look for the triggers that cause you to eat the wrong things. It is all about retraining your thinking about food. Learning that it is nourishment for your body nothing more. Finding other things to replace that dependency with other positive things.

Log the NSV and say something nice about yourself every day. And look forward to a happier healthier you. you deserve it. Take this miracle and run with it to see the girl you really are inside without hiding behind weight...It is not easy but the rewards are endless.......

[katesuccess 990]

So sorry you're going through this! i agree with posters above. Hard to feel like it's solo when you have others around who SHOULD be supportive and encouraging too. I might ask your mom if she wanted to support you in your goals. If the answer is yes, point out that you've already had the surgery, and want to make the best use of it you can--and here's what will help. Point out that she is not "just like" her other family of origin members, and neither are you. You need support in (say) three simple ways. Then lay it out, and just keep reminder her, using the same words and phrases each time, and if she still bombs, you may have to say, "This is not something we can discuss. Period." and change the subject. Informing her may help her learn, but sometimes we mother's seem stuck like a broken record anyway. You can't change someone else's behavior, but you CAN change your response to it.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

As a daughter and a mother....I can understand this trap. I did to my daughters what my mother did to/for me - try to encourage good habits. Unfortunately, I was never able to walk the talk. I knew what to do but couldn't seem to do it, and desperately did not want my kids to follow in my footsteps. I kept hoping that teaching them would be a step up. They saw it as criticism and nagging. Even when I would do what was needed for long periods of time and tried to bring them along, it was not successful. You can't make another person lose weight, or do just about anything they don't want to. So, I wonder if your mom is the same way. She may not feel she can help herself, but she probably is encouraging you the only way she knows how.

So, just like my mother was unsuccessful in enforcing my diet, as I was with my kids, you also can't get someone else to change their talk unless they want to. You can try talking to her about it, but at the end of the day, you can only control yourself. Good luck!