Who does Number 2 work for?

[babygrl1234 6]

Not my son. Is it seriously too much to ask that my almost 4 year old use the effing toilet? It's been damn near a year and a half of potty training and I am about to throw myself in front of a friggin truck. The kid knows he has to poop. He hides in the corner or behind something every time he has to go. He will sit on the toilet for hours with a turtle head poking out and he refuses to push it out. I have tried games (drop the bomb on the little target drawn on toilet paper was fun), cheerios, rewards, cool lookin underpants, colace, stool softener, diet change and pretty much everything I can think of. I hate keeping him in a diaper because he will just pee in it but I am tired of cleaning crap filled underpants.

Ugh. I just had to get that out. Any ideas I maybe have not tried?

[katschai 0]

Hi - wow I can hear your frustration and stress. My son had a lot of difficulties with potty training. We think he had IBS and even when he was about 12 he had a colonoscopy (everything fine.). So you need to rule out medical issues a peds gastroenterologist. And you do want to make sure everything is ok so problems do not persist. I know someone who tried an unusual technique but it worked. She was able to devote a week at home and no diaper no pants no nothing for the week, he ran around with nothing on. She said it worked. And find a mom support group for you! Good luck.

[Carlene 12]

I am the mother of three (now grown) sons and one daughter. Two of my sons were anti-potty poopers, so I truly feel your pain.

I never found a real "cure". I decided it wasn't me, since son number one and the daughter were both soooooooo easy to train. So it had to be those two hard-headed, rotten-to-the-core, out-to-drive-me-crazy middle boys, right? (Yes....it was.)

Eventually they will conform to the norms of society and poop in the toilet....I promise. Any type of social setting (pre-school, mom's day out, etc) will help. Once the other kids start calling him names (and they will), he will straighten up and fly right. Do not protect him from ridicule. If he doesn't want to be known as "Stinky Pants" then he will suck it up and use the potty like everyone else. His choice.....life has consequences.

Console yourself with this thought....no one ever started school in diapers. Although I have a granddaughter who had to wait a whole year before she could attend pre-K for that very reason. And her mom's a Kindergarten teacher. She was totally humiliated (my DIL, not the granddaughter).

[BJean 16]

Carlene's right. They all march to the tune of the drummer in their little heads. I learned that the more insistent I was and the bigger deal I made out of it, the more one of my kids used it to exert some control over ME.

My advice to you is to have lots of patience. I know it is hard and a very dirty job and no one appreciates what you're doing, especially the kid. But once he gets it in his head that going in the toilet is better, he will surprise you one day.

[Hazelbunny 0]

My youngest (I have 3) would not poop on the potty for 8 months after she was pee trained because she slipped and her little tush fell in.

We had to try about 6 different potties until we hit the magic one. Even then when we transitioned to the big potty again I had to squat and let her hold my shoulders "just in case" she slipped.

Trust me I feel your pain but this too shall pass.

[babygrl1234 6]

Console yourself with this thought....no one ever started school in diapers. Although I have a granddaughter who had to wait a whole year before she could attend pre-K for that very reason. And her mom's a Kindergarten teacher. She was totally humiliated (my DIL, not the granddaughter).

LOL. The only thing I keep thinking is that he would not be able to go to Kindergarten because he won't use the toilet by then. I feel like I am going to have to start stocking up on Depends now because he is going to grow out of baby diapers soon.

[susannah 2]

Gday Babygrl, I work in Early Childhood and am toilet training children regularly. Have you spoken to your son about how he is feeling about the whole process? Maybe something happened that has made him fearful of using the toilet.

Bowel control often takes longer to master,but I can understand your frustration Baby.

Susannah

[paladin 0]

My advice is to not push it. Contrary to popular belief (at least in our extended family) it doesn't have anything to do with your parenting skills or anything you are doing wrong. They won't poop until they are ready to do so. Our son was 4 when he finally decided to poop in the the toilet and actually, it was LBT that helped.

Here's the link to the thread:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=16640

Someone on this thread recommended that you show them what poop looks like coming out with a tube of toothpaste. They are afraid it will hurt if they aren't hunkered down in a corner somewhere. This can show them how easy it is. Gross, I know, but as parents, we do what we can.

I would not recommend any form of punishment or ridicule. This can damage their self esteem and prolong the process. Just be encouraging and loving no matter where they poop and potty training will come when they are ready. I wish you the best and hang in there!!

[babygrl1234 6]

Susannah, I have had many talks with him. His biggest problem is that sometime in the past he became constipated. It hurt to pass the bm so now he is afraid to do it. He continues to hold it back until he can't anymore and it usually becomes so big and painful once it comes out that he does not want to do it again and the cycle jsut continues. I have changed his diet adding in more Fiber and giving him less dairy and bananas. I have had him on Senna(stool softener) for awhile. I try to ween him off of the stool softener and he just holds it back again. He gave me a huge scare yesterday because he had not gone in a few days and he could not get it out. I was trying everything including using gloves to pull it out. It was stuck and once he fially passed it was the size of a baseball. My pediatrician has not been much help in the situation since all she has recomended was the Senna and a diet change which is working but once I take him off the Senna he just goes back to holding it. For now I am just going to put him back on the Senna until I can get him in with his pediatrician again. If she doesn't do something else about it I will probably go see a specialist or something. The last thing I need is for him to distend his bowel.

As for the training I am just going to give it a rest. He can just wear diapers and I am not going to say a word about it. Once he decided he is ready then he can start doing it.

[susannah 2]

Hey Babygrl, Is your son drinking enough Water? He should have a water bottle that he can sip pn throughout the day. Lack of fluids can also cause Constipation in children.

Don't worry, he won't walk down the aisle in a diaper!

Susannah

[babygrl1234 6]

I can just see it now, him taking his prom date in the bathroom to help change his diaper lol. I have bought him a special waterbottle to drink out of. Makes him feel special lol. He really just doesn't want to let go of that poo.

[Carlene 12]

You could try a bit of Benefiber each day. It is colorless, tasteless, and harmless. It just adds Water to the colon. It's not a quick fix - more like a maintenance thing. But it works GREAT!

[babygrl1234 6]

The Benefiber is a good idea. I have tried Metamcil but he does not like the flavor or consistancy.

[Lap_dancer 8]

I played this game with my son.

I was at Target one day and walked by the big boy panties and told him one day he would be able to wear them once he could poop on the potty.

This peeked his interest but my son had an issue with the smell, the look, the strain of #2 coming out. He wanted no part of the disposal of it.

One day when he did go, I had those big boy panties ready. I ran into his room and grabbed them and clapped and told him NOW he could wear them and we put them on and put his pants on then went to grandmas and let her peek just below his waistline to see the elastic of the big boy panties which had Ninja Turtles on them.

When he had an accident, time to clean up. He got a little help from me but when he is old enough to say "I have to go poop" then he's old enough to go poop but he might need help with wiping.

The whole experience is just a bummer and the important thing is to not have them feel sub-human because they aren't getting into the potty thing.

[perry101 0]

I am a medical assistant at a pediatric office, and I have had several patients that have had this same problem. One was just a behavior/attention problem, the other had issues with being hypoglycemic. If I were you, I would explore all options for this. Good luck!!!