Divorce rates and WLS. (link to article inside)

[bflblog 31]

http://www.healthcentral.com/obesity/c/276918/148486/soar-necessarily/

So, I have been divorced for about 2 years now, but I am curious as to how many people have had it done and are still happily married.

The article touts that the percentage is 80 to 85 within the first 2 years.

I wanted to start a discussion on this because I found it quite interesting.

[greensleeve 457]

I think if you have a strong marriage it's just going to make it stronger. If you are with someone you settled for because you were overweight, or if your mate is very jealous, or if your mate is only attracted to big people, you are going to have issues.

Fortunately I married someone who is supportive and loves me no matter what. If anything this has made us closer, because I can trust that when I'm vulnerable he is still there for me and takes care of the things I can't.

[jjinWA 511]

I am hopeful my marriage will sustain this change in my life. I have been married 40 years. I was not overweight when we got married (115 lbs). In fact, I wore the little miini skirt, gogo boots, etc of that era. I had long blonde hair and big tatas. Ha. Anyway, 40 years later, my hair is short and grey, I had breast reduction surgery 15 years ago, and I wear pants with elastic waist bands. Not a day goes by that he does not say that he loves me. He is tall and slim and very active, so his wish is for me to get healthy again so we can get back to activities that we once enjoyed together. I have strong hopes that we will enjoy the new me and our marriage will become even stronger.... And a whole lot more fun! He is getting the bikes ready as we speak. Only time can tell how this will go.

[skinnygirlwithin 693]

I have to agree with @greensleeve - My husband & I have been through our share of ups & downs (he has an AWFUL EX-Wife - they were divorced before i ever met him) if she didnt tear us apart... me losing 100lbs shouldnt either...

I wasnt always overweight. He is a very active person & always wants me to do stuff with him, but i wasnt able to... ITs been awesome that now i can! He has been very supportive. We work a few buildings from each other, and he always makes sure i have enough Water & all my Protein to eat. and when i know he didnt pack a lunch, i make sure i pack extra & drop it off to him. We take care of each other - Since i have had WLS, i feel like we are stronger then ever... It makes me sad to think that we would ever part ways because of WLS...

Edited June 12, 2014 by skinnygirlwithin

[Chelly 364]

I've been married going on 26 yrs and was always heavy but my husband is a wonderful man who no matter what says he loves me.

He's always has been there for me and still is.

He's very proud of me and my achievements of losing the weight and is very helpful in me taking care of myself.

So WLS has not been an issue with us at all because we were strong to begin with.

[music1618 879]

My marriage is stronger 2 years later, but it has taken work. Communication is the keys to happy marriage. Before surgery my husband and I had a long heart to heart talk. Let me start off by saying my husband is skinny and has never had weight issues. During our pre surgical talk I told him that I felt like he would sabotage me when I would try to diet in the past. I would start losing weight and the he would buy sweets and tell me to have the will power to deny myself the sweets. So fast forward to about 2 months post op. I was losing weight and although I was nauseous I was excited about my results. Hubby went to the store and came home with a chocolate cream pie. He said I know you can't eat much, but this is like Jello and creamy. I got hurt and started to get mad. Typically I would be mad and stay in our bedroom for a while. Today I decided we need to talk about it. So I told him this is what I was talking about. I felt like it was a sabatoge to my surgery. He apologized and said he still wanted to eat something sweet at night. I said that was fine, but he needed to find something I did not like. So we settled on coconut cream pie because I hate coconut,

The other issue we have had is jealousy. My mom made a comment to him before surgery about being able to handle men hitting on me more when I was skinny. He began having dreams of me running off with another man. Once we talked about it. I told him he loved me when I was overweight because he loves me for me. No other man could love me that way.

So communication is the key. You must be willing to ask the hard questions, and listen to those answers with an open mind.

[blondiebabs 214]

This does not surprise me.

Edited June 12, 2014 by blondiebabs

[allielee 263]

It made my marriage even stronger.. I think if you love each other.. Really love each other before surgery you will be fine.. If you married someone you "settled" for, losing weight can make you reevaluate. We have been married 23&1/2 amazing years. He loved me thick and he's loved me thin. Our marriage has always been awesome but my confidence in myself with losing weight has just added to the marriage.

[Sparklingbeauty53 202]

I don't know about that high of a divorce rate. Scary really. I hope my marriage flourishes with my new found body and me. I was fat when we married but admittedly have gotten fatter as the years have gone on. I pray this makes the marriage stronger but reading that makes me think. I working on the new me and the new marriage! He has been supportive thus far and I pray this continues!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

That's a very high divorce rate. Fortunately my husband and I have been through 2 surgeries and are about to embark on our third. As time goes on we just get stronger! Like mentioned above, as long as we communicate our feeling in a respectful manner we can get through any negative situation and compromise.

[Mrs.RRn 2,111]

Sounds scary.

[SandyM 1,956]

My husband married me when I was young and thin. He continued to love me though I became old and fat. Then, he went on a diet after I was banded and lost 45 lbs himself. I have no worries that we got this. We Celebrate 35 years next month. It would take more than a small silicone band to come between our gold ones☺️

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

My husband and I will Celebrate our 35th anniversary in July. I was small when we married and didn't gain weight till after I had children. He has loved me this long and can't see it changing. He is so proud of me and tells everyone how hard I work at getting healthy. I believe we will be just fine when I get to the goal line. I can see where things might be different in younger couples where people are getting a lot of attention that they didn't get before. The temptation can be overwhelming for some and with the ease of meeting people on line, the possibility of being attracted to somebody else becomes more possible. For us older and settled folks, the temptation for romance is not as great and I think we are more into being healthy, looking good, and being able to be active.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

http://www.healthcentral.com/obesity/c/276918/148486/soar-necessarily/ So, I have been divorced for about 2 years now, but I am curious as to how many people have had it done and are still happily married. The article touts that the percentage is 80 to 85 within the first 2 years. I wanted to start a discussion on this because I found it quite interesting.

I am married almost 44 years Been with him since I was 15 and he was 16. Been fat and thin and the same with him. But we are partners forever. Next month is 2 years with the band. The best thing I ever did for my health

Maybe people stay together because they are afraid no one will want them obese. Then they get healthy and people pay attention to them. They never knew that way of life

Arlene

[AuriP 420]

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. Since I was 17 and he was 19. I was 145 pounds when we met, he was closer to 180. We grew fat together me being 250 and him 265 lbs. He got diabetes and lost 60-70 lbs, he bounces from 190-205 depending on how his diabetes is. I'm hoping we grow thin and old together too, he married me 3 years ago (anniversary was on the 11th) and I was about 240 lbs and 2 children in around then. I believe he has loved me fat and thin, just like I have him. I know in my hearts of hearts that no one in my life can compare to him and I wouldn't trade him in for the world, I know he feels the same.