Should I or shouldn't I?

[malouse 0]

My first posting after lurking...

I've been thinking about this surgery for a while but just now starting to seriously do the research. I lurk on other related Yahoo groups and hear so many stories of bad post-surgery health, taking tons of pills to make up for the loss of nutrition of not being able to eat normal quantities of food, weight gain, and scary surgery complications.

This is why I'm thinking more of LapB than the bypass surgeries. I haven't gone to any support groups yet but one is coming up that I'll go to. I live in the San Jose, CA area so am just starting to research doctors. The support group I found is for patients of LapBandSF (San Francisco).

One issue I wrestle with is the thought that doing potentially life threatening surgery to lose weight is the coward's way out and that I should be able to discipline myself and ignore my food lust and lose the weight. I just turned 48 and first went to Weight Watchers at age 12 and have never been 'normal' weight since then (I always quit too soon). I get frustrated that I am unable (or is it unwilling?) to do what it takes to get the weight off and quit whining about giving up food and having to change my life (exercise more, lay off junk food, etc.). I should just toughen up and DO IT and not do surgery. Fortunately I'm fairly healthy considering being 100+ lbs overweight, no aches/pains just mental anguish and frustration.

I know this surgery is a tool and not a quick fix (I wish it was, of course) but it's hard to admit I'm a failure at controlling my desire for food and that I need this drastic solution where I should instead pay the same $$$ to a sadistic personal trainer and a cook to come to my house and make to do 'the right thing.'

Does this ring true for anyone else or am I too hard on myself?

I've never been one of those obese people who have accepted their body and don't let it limit their lives. I wish I was but I obsess about it and fantasize about the day I can be normal weight (hey, even slightly fat would be wonderful) and do all those things I want to do. My life is on hold and I'm too stubborn to accept this is my life as a fatso and just "get over it." I think if I could experience what it's like to be thin for 1 week that I can use that as motivation of what life could be like. I've always been fat (passed 200 lbs at age 18 and never looked back), haven't worn a dress since age 14, no short sleeve shirts, no bathing suit, etc.

I haven't discussed this with my husband, he's the opposite - skinny and not food obsessed. I casually mentioned surgery years ago and it freaks him out and doesn't want me to do it (scared that I'll die). I need to tell him I'll probably die of obesity related issues anyway since I have failed to get control. He says I just need to eat better but he's not obsessed like I am, it's an addiction just like alcohol or drugs (legal or otherwise) and it never really goes away.

Ten years ago I did a medically supervised fasting program (500 cals per day) and I lost 3-4 lbs per week for 36 weeks. I ended up quitting early because I was traveling too much for work and couldn't attend the required weekly meetings. It worked great for me, was easy to follow, I wasn't hungry, and no medical problems came up. I was very committed to the program after hitting my max weight of 275lbs; it freaked me out and now I'm 30lbs away from that high point. :omg: I wasn't married at the time so having no food in the house was not a problem, it made it easy. I now have regained 80% of that weight so that's why I'm thinking of surgery.

Deborah

[edieparks 2]

That was a problem for me too. I was a "good" dieter. I was a chronic yo yo dieter too. This is the first time in my life that I have been able to wear my small size jeans more then just maybe 4 or 5 days before I became too big for them. I am in my size 12 jeans for 8 weeks now.

edie