Ex-Friend Keeps Writing Negatively About Me on Different Blogs and Web Sites

[Mommabird 367]

Hi, Sharon,

I've been reading your posts and couldn't resist going over to the fiercefatties site to read your "friend's" post and the resulting comments. And me being me, couldn't resist posting my own. It may get taken down, as it is waiting on "approval" by the moderator. Here's what I wrote:

Having read posts from the friend on other sites, this isn’t about fat hating or being fat phobic. It’s about her health and WLS resolving the health issues she has. Yes, she will lose weight. but, really, that’s just a side effect of regaining her health. And before everyone attacks me saying that there are other ways to get healthy and stay fat. No, there’s really not. Not when the health issues are being caused by being obese. Obesity kills.
It’s that simple. Maybe there are those that will dodge the bullet, but I doubt it. Obesity comes in second only to smoking for being the largest preventable cause of death. Heart disease, stroke, asthma, osteoarthritis, cancer, fatty liver (which can lead to liver cancer), sleep apnea,renal insufficiency (kidney failure) and the list goes on. Do you really wish this on your friend? If so, she’s better off with out your friendship. Friends don’t wish ill on friends. If you have really discarded her as a friend, why do you keep attacking her in blogs and postings. Me thinks thou protests too much.

Your now ex-friend seems to me to be protesting WAY too much. It really makes me wonder what her real issue is.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

Hi, Sharon,

I've been reading your posts and couldn't resist going over to the fiercefatties site to read your "friend's" post and the resulting comments. And me being me, couldn't resist posting my own. It may get taken down, as it is waiting on "approval" by the moderator. Here's what I wrote:

Your now ex-friend seems to me to be protesting WAY too much. It really makes me wonder what her real issue is.

she never posted my comment. and it was really mild. though i dont know that i would have mentioned sharon posting on other websites... that seems like throwing gasoline on the fire that might redouble her efforts to reel sharon in again. i hope not, she seems like someone who would like getting revenge too much.

if you want to know what her real issue is, you can read the recent posts by myself, roo and greensleeves.

[Kitt3000 757]

Mommabird, that was so caring of you! Blessings right back to you. Most people would not go out of their way to stand up for and to- a bully! Kudos!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

What a hoot of a thread!

"Cosmetic surgery" ???

That person is nuts.

You should thank your lucky stars you're rid of her.

Good grief!

[Dreamin Again 112]

She is a very unhappy person and it appears she wants everyone around her to be unhappy also. Be good to yourself and do what is good for you! It's hard to let go of a friend but you have to wonder if she was ever really your friend to begin with...friends don't treat each other like that imo.

Good luck with your journey and don't let her put any more negativity in your life.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

She seems to be projecting. Not sure what your surgery has to do with her and her life. Her posts are very ME ME ME, this is how YOU doing something affects ME. Who the eff cares? If she was an actual friend, she would be supportive even if she didn't agree with the route you're taking. She was clearly only hanging around so long as she had someone to be 'better than'. The minute you started making decisions and doing things FOR YOU, ABOUT YOU, she turned tail.

Ex friend is right. Ignore that bitter, projecting person and focus on your new life. It's gonna be awesome and soon you won't remember her name.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I must say that the whole fatalicious movement is rather odd to me. It's not that I'm unaware of it, but I find it odd to revel in a condition that is so obviously unhealthy.

Yes, I think it's healthy not to hate yourself for ANY reason. But to then turn against people who are trying to become healthier -- that's seems dope.

Mostly, it seems loony to think someone is betraying you personally if they make a decision about their own body that is counter to the decision you're making about your body. That's someone with massive issues about controlling others.

OK, I'm done being agog at this.

[Rovobay 920]

haters gonna hate. just make sure you are happy, and fill your surroundings with people who love you for who you are. keep on keepin on!

[Steph W-O 75]

I don't think this really has anything to do with you-she's dealing with her own issues....and you happen to be there.... Sorry she's doing this to you!

Edited June 16, 2014 by Steph W-O

[Jack 855]

re: "I’m fairly picky about my friends, it’s true. I hold my friends to a high standard"

good point

The post I read was all about HER, not you.

Keep out of her life.

Develop your own friends based on what is important to you.

Your former friend has either separation anxiety or some kind of control-freak disorder.

Stop reading her stuff.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

re: "I’m fairly picky about my friends, it’s true. I hold my friends to a high standard.

this is code for "i only keep people around who can feed my narcissism."

[pinksjo1 137]

YIKES!! She sees you as a THREAT! You are going to change your life, she wants you to not change your life, because SHE doesn't want to change her life! Does that make sense?

Please STOP reading anything she is blogging/mailing, etc. It will just upset you.

Maybe some day, she will see that surgery is a LIFESAVER and want to get it herself. Hopefully, she will come to you and apologize and ask for your support. You sound like a very caring person, and I would imagine you would be there for her.

For now...KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!

[PdxMan 4,292]

So, here is a post that did NOT get approved over at FreeThinking Fatties. They are not quite so free thinking, I'm thinking:

Why does someone having WLS imply they are not a fat/body acceptance advocate? I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy 3 years ago because my quality of life was going downhill. My health issues were increasing and I couldn't play with my young kids at the level I or they wanted. I have been married in a loving relationship for many years and my wife has always accepted me for who I am. Am I a skinny person? No. I have lost over 120 pounds and hover just below the 200 mark. My bloodwork comes back great and I am able to avoid pretty much all of the weight related complications I was dealing with.

Does this make me a fatty hater? In no way am I or anyone else who gets WLS, I believe, judging those who are morbidly obese who wish to stay that way. Quite the opposite, actually. For me, WLS wasn't about getting skinny, it was about living longer with a higher quality of life, health-wise. I know there are many folks who are morbidly obese and healthy, but I was not one of them. Just like you don't want me to judge you for being fat, please don't judge me for taking measures not to be.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Great responses to this thread. Just loved everything you guys wrote.