Where do you find comfort?

[superbariatricbabe 180]

Short story: I've started seeing a therapist in the last couple months because I know I need to work some stuff out before I go through with the RNY surgery.

I'm dealing with stress, anxiety, and all kinds of emotions that I don't really have the equipment to handle. My therapist thinks that I turn to food for comfort. After a binge, I feel calm... and disgusting. But calm, and whatever was bothering me is now buried under pounds of food. In a horrible way, I feel better for the short term.

What makes this really frightening is that if this is why I'm eating... how can I stop? If I get bariatric surgery without addressing this problem, I'll end up totally lost and unhinged.

My question is to successful RNYers: Where do you find comfort after your surgery?

[superbariatricbabe 180]

Yikes. Apparently I'm alone in this. :/

Is this a bad question?

[music1618 879]

I find comfort in sports and activity. My stress reliever is soccer and more recently training for a triathlon. You have to learn to deal with the anxiety a different way. Find a hobby or sport or activity to get involved in.

[Lthomas 23]

@@superbariatricbabe I'm one week postop and looking to find new coping mechanisms other than food. The first few days all I wanted to do was order chinese...I was stressed (we are moving too..so our place is chaos) and felt.. naked, like there was nothing that could console me.

Hoping new outlets will be exercise (jogging, hiking, tennis, swimming, biking...).. but what else??!

good luck!

[Sparklingbeauty53 202]

I think this is a hard one for everyone to answer. I am finding my coping mechanisms as I write this. I want to say exercise but I haven't found what works for me yet. I am only eating Protein when I feel the need to cope with food. Today I wasn't sure if I was head hungry or hungry so I ate an egg. I also calm myself with bathing. If I am stressed that helps tremendously but you can't bathe all the time. I know someone who transferred her addiction to food to exercise, someone else who cleans. I don't know what will work for me but I think it is an ongoing learning process and will always be. I hope this helps.

[Writerjennifer 107]

I have been exploring this very idea. I would suggest writing down what you are feeling, write down what you want to eat, and try to explain why. Then ask yourself the various questions. What is the goal? Will eating what you crave accomplish the goal? If not, what will? Picture in your mind the goal, picture in your mind yourself pushing the bad food away because it won't help with the goal. Imagine feeling better, see yourself smiling, see yourself attaining your goal and let the pride and peace and respect and love and happiness fill you.

Repeat as often as necessary.

I can't say for sure that it works. You need to tailor it to your own needs and feelings. But it helps me. I have yet to decide to eat the bad food after using this tool. But it's only good if you use it, and there are times I don't.

Good luck.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I agree with you it's important to try to work through some of this while you're pre-op. I'm working with a coach and she suggested I just write down when I feel the urge to eat something unhealthy just out of habit or impulse. I'm 4 days postop and don't really feel any hunger yet but I have had the urge to run to McDonalds for chocolate chip Cookies (my favorite treat pre-op) and I woke up this morning thinking about powdered donuts which was a standard in car on the way to work snack. She's suggested just writing down when I feel the urge and maybe the situation I was in at the time -- just to identify whether it's habitual, emotional or just environmental (in the car, looking for the large diet coke).

Best wishes as you move forward.

[snowblue 50]

Dear superbariatricbabe:

I too have been in 6 mo of psychotherapy w someone who specializes in eating disorders. She gave me a list of about 200 feeling words (cheesy, but it really worked) that I carry around with me all the time. If I feel the need to emotionally eat, I write down what my feelings are at the time-- just to clarify, she didn't tell me not to binge eat if I felt I needed to. She just wanted me to write down my feelings and what I ate, so we could talk about them at our next appointment.

This has really helped me go from binging nearly everyday to about once a month at this point. I have lost more than 20lbs in the 6 months, and all that has changed is this identification of my feelings.

I have my appointment with the surgeon next Thursday, in order to get a surgery date. I had everything done and ready to go 6 months ago, but my psychiatrist said he wanted me to have the therapy first. I was REALLY pissed at the time, but he was right-- so glad I have begun to work on my hideiously messed up relatioship with food before I had this drastic surgery. I feel like I have a MUCH better chance of success now.

When I went to the initial meetings with other bariatric patients and the nutritionist, I was a little shocked at some of the answers I heard. I was in this group of prospective surgery patients, and I was the only one of us who said "Yes, I eat more than I should." Nearly everyone else said "No, I do not over eat, binge eat, or emotionally eat."----Let's face it, unless someone has a severe endocrine disorder (which would be apparent with pre-op bloodwork), he or she does not become 300 pounds by having a normal, healthy relationship with food. I think once we admit this we can start to address the problem. Good for you for taking a proactive approach!

Most of my unhealthy emotional eating had to do with anger. I now have a punching bag in my living room-- if I get mad, I go hit the bag for 5 minutes. I feel better, I don't binge eat, and I am exercising!

Good luck to you! Best Wishes!

Edited September 4, 2014 by snowblue

[Amyllf2 206]

Crafts? Reading? Creative writing? Yard work?

I'm a crafter myself. I took up knitting pre-op and I've turned to it many times to keep my hands busy. It's a refocus if my mind and hands.

I also understand people turn to all kinds of different meditation techniques.

[susan55063 2]

I had my surgery August 11th. A word of advice is be patient with yourself in the time after surgery. I know I personally have gone through many changes. I have to say though I do not feel hungry. I still prepare meals for my husband like I always have and it seriously does not bother me. I do read a lot and get bariatric recipes and research healthier choices. I enjoy cooking so that has helped me. I have found though I am moody. Could be all the chemical changes. Just remember rome was not built in a day. Retraining the mind is a big part of this journey In my opinion. I have lost 32 pounds in less than a month.

Good luck on your Journey and remember if there are cravings they do past. I have been one of the lucky ones and I really do not at least at this point have a lot of desire for food.

[hippieista 12]

I have not had surgery yet, but knitting and crocheting has gotten me through some tough times. You can't eat with needles, yarn and hooks in your hand. You get to look at and touch the pretty, soft Fiber as you are working, the repetitive motion is a form of meditation and you get a beautiful object for yourself or to brighten someone else's life as a bonus.

[clara lewis 1]

Hello everyone I'm 8 days post orp and I can't seem to keep anything down. I'm still mostly having liquids but now I can also have grits,oatmeal nothing seems to stay down. Any ideas

[maggie0210 117]

You have gotten a lot of really great advice here. I think you are doing a fantastic job of taking care of yourself by seeing a therapist about your habits. I am in therapy now for years because I am bipolar. She was against this surgery at the start. But after working towards it and seeing that I was serious about changing my habits she came around. I'm one year out this month and have cravings once in awhile. But so far not letting it get the best of me. Keeping busy with other things, like painting, which I suck at, crochet, scrapbooking, walking etc.... Not paying attention to all those ads on TV for fast food. Keep up your great work and remember, you can do anything you put your mind to. Email me if you want to. Emmafiona0926@gmail.com.

[wonderwoman75 118]

I have had therapy six months prior to surgery and I will be two years out in January. It is a mind issue for me and continues to be. I am 39 and I went back to school for my bachelors and I received a promotion in my career. I never thought that I ate because of stress boy was I wrong. So I say continue your journey whichever way you think will help.

[rhodywoman 145]

This may sound odd but in 2007, I quit smoking. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I smoked on such an auto-pilot that I needed something to occupy my hands and brain. If you can occupy for just a few minutes the feeling/craving/emotion can pass. I started folding origami. Something I could do at my desk at work or at home with ease. I started small than more challenging pieces. This worked very well for me. When I decided on RNY I took out my old stuff to have on deck as my coping mechanism. If it helped me get through quitting an 18 year multipack addiction it can help me with this. Best of luck to you. I'm nearly a month out from surgery and it's been the greatest decision!