Do I need a therapist?

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Do I need a therapist?

@@ladykatie_

i was surprised by the many people here being open seeing a therepist

being "embarrassed" about my seeing a therapist, was a subject i even mentioned to my therapist

amongst other things, she said..................

"half the world sees a therapist, the other half should"

i thought that was great!!!

frequently i think that when people ask certain questions (like yours)

they already know the answer, they just want confirmation/reassurance

some/many/most (me) can benefit from talking to someone about our food issues

food continues to be a big part of my life - (in a positive way)

how i handle certain situations, reactions from others, many things

but.............i talk about many other things too with the therapist

after talking/listening to all you guys on the board.....

boy do i need help at the end of the day

take care

good luck

kathy

Edited June 10, 2014 by proudgrammy

[blondiebabs 214]

I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago before I started the process of exploring WLS. It was one of the best decisions of my life, I've suffered from anxiety and depression for years and I've found the talk therapy very helpful. My x-spouse discouraged me from going to a therapist for years, his fear was that I would leave him if I started seeing a therapist, however I obviously did anway. In reality if it makes you feel better it can make your relationship with him stronger.

I only wish I had decided to start going 15 years ago. I think we would all benefit from going a time or two in our lives.

The first step is to call your insurance and ask them for a list of approved psychologists and you can also ask if they require a pcp referral and what the copay is. Then contact your pcp and ask if they recommend any of the dr's on the list. I was sooo nervous the first time I went in, and by the end of the hour I wasn't ready to leave.

Edited June 10, 2014 by blondiebabs

[LivingFree! 478]

So sorry you are dealing with these difficult emotions. So often the emotional part of WLS is tougher than the surgical part! But it it so important to remember that what you are feeling is SO NORMAL and to remember to BE KIND to yourself about how you are feeling!

What great responses you have been given here so far! Please let me repeat--seeking therapy is NOT a weakness or anything to be ashamed of. I have had (and continue to have) a lot of therapy, both from traditional therapists and from those specializing in WLS patients). Has it given me all my "answers" and made everything "all better?" Of course not. Does it give me a release to just spit out my frustrations in a non-threating one-on-one setting? YES! If availability for you and your financial capability allow you to obtain care, it will help you. CHANGING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH food is the core premise from which everything else falls in place for the rest of our lives. This does not happen over night--it is an ongoing process that we must work on every single day--even when we don't feel like it.

No disrespect to hubby, but his reaction to your want/need to seek therapy is typical to what so much of our society still feels about mental health care. That it is somehow a weakness, and just "suck it up" and therapy won't help anyhow. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Still, many people do not have the opportunity to get formal therapy. But they still can receive awesome help with the deep emotional issues connected with WLS that come up. There are so many wonderful books out there written by professionals who specialize in WLS, and many more to come. Search, search, search Google! There is one in particular that has so much valuable info about the emotional part of WLS. I still, at three years out, often refer to it for motivation and inspiration. It has been mentioned many times on these threads, but in case you haven't seen it:

The Emotional First+Aid Kit, A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery, By Cynthia Alexander, PsyD (psychologist). Available on Amazon.< /p>

One final thought--It's so often HARDEST to develop a new lifestyle habit (like learning and accepting what our WLS healthy meal content and portions look like) when we feel DEPRESSED. When we work hard to develop the little ways to lighten our depression, we get more POWER to work on building those new WLS habits.

[ladykatie_ 117]

Thank you so much for all the positive responses! I really truly appreciate it. I've just learned that my surgeon has hired an in-house therapist (the one that did my psych eval) and she now has an office in his office! I've made an appointment (unfortunately, it has to be after my vacation). However, it means she takes my insurance! I really liked her when I saw her, I was only hesitant to go back because 1) she didn't take my insurance, and 2) she was 1 hour away from me. Now I can see the doctor AND my therapist conjointly.

I am so relieved knowing that I am not the only one who feels sad about food. I will have to suck it up for about a month (appointment is July 10) but I know I can do it. My mom and sister are very supportive and are always willing to listen to me when I'm in a mood.

Thank you again, all of you!

[blondiebabs 214]

Awesome!!!

[sophie'sChoice 269]

YAY!! July 10th will be here before you know it!

[Mijohnson73 2]

I had my Sleeve done on May 6 and I have had several days like you have described. Now that I can eat a little bit more it has gotten easier. Ive been told that going to support groups helps and I have signed up for one to see if maybe that will help me. This may be something you could also look into.

Michelle

[kyleebean 209]

If you're asking if you need a therapist, you probably need one! My experience (as a therapist) is people think about entering therapy long before they do. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed about the reason you want to see a therapist. My guess is you are dealing with a lot of emotions (as we all are on this board) and need some help to sort them out. Go see someone! It can only help. Lots of luck to you.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

i dont want to be rude regarding your husband.... but how the heck does he have any idea what a therapist would say to you?? what a silly thing for him to tell you. my husband says these kinds of ridiculous things too. he has a bad cut on his leg from the woods.. it looks infected to me. i tell him to call the doctor. "why? what would she do?" finally he has red streaks going up and down his leg... he calls the doc. she waits late at her office for him. nearly sends him to the hospital. asks him why he didnt call when it first started hurting. he says, "i dont know." thats the honest answer!! he didnt know what to do, but somehow that translated to "she cant help me."

a lot of people think that about therapy. they have no idea what a therapist might say. not a clue. but somehow that gets turned around to "he/she cant help me." and the fact is, no one knows if therapy will help unless they actually go! and since people take more time choosing clothes than a therapist, it sometimes takes a few tries before you find a good fit.

good luck! it does sound like you could use some help adjusting to your new life. finding new ways to cope with life without food isnt easy. but you dont have much choice at this point. you've had the surgery, now you have to figure out how to deal in a whole new way. its all worth it in the long run... but its not an easy road.

btw, a lot of people swear by this book, since you have to wait a month to see someone, you might want to pick this up. The Emotional First + Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery.

Edited June 11, 2014 by moonlitestarbrite

[ladykatie_ 117]

@moonlitestarbrite: It seems like men just don't believe in doctors. He wasn't opposed to me going but yeah how would he know? If, for some unknown reason, it wasn't helping me, then I would know and move on.

I'm really hoping that therapy will help me adjust. Like you said, I don't have any choice, but I also don't feel like being sad all the time.

Someone else recommended that book too. I'm gonna have to get it since my appointment is a month away. Every little bit helps!

Thank you for your post!

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

ladykatie_

I think seeing a therapist is the BEST thing you can do.

I went through a grieving process after my surgery. The mental part of this to me was FAR more difficult than the physical part. Sure the pain from the CO2 was a beotch! but the long, tough slog through the mental dark, cold woods was worse for me. I suffer from depression and issues related to childhood abuse. I have worked with many therapists over the yeas to attempt to overcome them. Oh how I wish my brain had a "reset" button or I could reboot the darn thing.

For me, the real work started AFTER my sleeve had healed. I have come to terms with it now but it was tough when I was actually going through it. Having a therapist to talk to, especially one who specializes in issues related to WLS will help you to make the journey through the mental part a lot more tolerable.

I wish you well,

Kathleen

Edited June 11, 2014 by Katcloudshepherd

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

@moonlitestarbrite: It seems like men just don't believe in doctors. He wasn't opposed to me going but yeah how would he know? If, for some unknown reason, it wasn't helping me, then I would know and move on.

I'm really hoping that therapy will help me adjust. Like you said, I don't have any choice, but I also don't feel like being sad all the time.

Someone else recommended that book too. I'm gonna have to get it since my appointment is a month away. Every little bit helps!

Thank you for your post!

feel free to PM me! happy to support you. btw, at 11 months PO, i no longer miss food or stuffing myself. it was a huge adjustment, but i no longer feel sad.

[Short and Chunky 230]

Ladykatie, I am so sorry you are having these issues. My surgery was almost 3 years ago and I think all of us have been in your shoes. Seeking some therapy sounds like it is probably the right direction. Our relationship with food is what got us heavy and that demon doesn't let go real easy. I am dealing with carb addiction and I can tell you - Cookies "call my name". I can't have even a bite..none..or the entire box would be gone in an hour or less. Try to stay busy. Walk, clean house (mine is really clean since my surgery), play with the cat, hand write a letter to yourself or to a friend. Keep you mind and your hands busy. My doctor told me to sew or go on the computer, just keep my hands doing something other than shoveling food into my mouth..I know..sounds harsh..but he was right. My family got sooooo many handmade Christmas gifts this year..I wonder why? Good luck and best wishes with your decision and job hunting.. Melinda in Florida

[superbariatricbabe 180]

Ladykatie, I shared your worries! I started therapy about two months ago and it is rough. I've actually gained weight since we're digging around in some traumatic stuff, which has triggered even more emotional eating than ever. I'm a mess, filled with shame and all kinds of nasty bubbling stuff.

But I think it's worth it. I keep going back for more. Because I want to be prepared for my surgery, and I want to have tools to use when I suddenly can't turn to food to anesthetize my feelings.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

Ladykatie, I shared your worries! I started therapy about two months ago and it is rough. I've actually gained weight since we're digging around in some traumatic stuff, which has triggered even more emotional eating than ever. I'm a mess, filled with shame and all kinds of nasty bubbling stuff.

But I think it's worth it. I keep going back for more. Because I want to be prepared for my surgery, and I want to have tools to use when I suddenly can't turn to food to anesthetize my feelings.

good for you! my cat of 22 years died about 3 weeks after my surgery and i wasnt prepared to deal with that without food. it was a rough time.