Do I need a therapist?

[ladykatie_ 117]

I was discussing this with my hubby and he doesn't believe that a therapist would have anything to say that could help me.

I just get so sad and depressed because I can't eat. I know the first few weeks are the most difficult in any case but when he eats normal food in front of me (especially some of my favorite things), I just get so sad. It's pathetic, I know. I don't know how to deal with that feeling. I still want to eat the bad food (not that I crave it, I don't think?) and I want to eat a normal size portion. I'm already sick of taking tiny little bites and getting so full on nothing. Then being hungry like 30 minutes later!! It's driving me crazy.

I don't know what to do. I'm still on the pureed stage and I want to eat everything. Eating was such a joyous occasion for me and now it's just depressing.

It probably doesn't help that I don't have a job at the moment and no real hobbies to occupy my time. I want to take a class or start a hobby but that usually costs money and I'm saving for going out of town in a couple weeks. I'm hoping that will distract me from all of this.

Advice on how to deal is much appreciated.

[BeagleLover 1,020]

Sounds to me like your gut feeling about seeing a therapist is right on. Do you have insurance, and could you afford the co-pay? Do you have a connection with a bariatric center of excellence? I was thinking they would be able to refer you to a therapist that has bariatric experience.

Do you have any pets?

[ladykatie_ 117]

I have Tricare and I'm not sure if there would be a co-pay. I'm not quite sure about a bariatric center of excellence but I would love a referral to a therapist that deals with these kind of patients.

I do, I have a kitty and I love her. She's my baby!

[gowalking 10,790]

Yes...I think therapy is something for you to explore. You are having separation issues. You need to create a new relationship with food that isn't so emotionally based. A professional can help you work this issue out. Good luck my dear.

[ladykatie_ 117]

@@gowalking Thank you. I knew going in it wasn't going to be easy but I guess I wasn't emotionally prepared.

[gowalking 10,790]

@@gowalking Thank you. I knew going in it wasn't going to be easy but I guess I wasn't emotionally prepared.

Sweetie...I'm very open on this forum. I see a therapist. I have plenty of body issues and self esteem issues even with the weight loss. In fact, it's the weight loss that's bringing it all bubbling up to the surface. We all have unhealthy relationships with food...it's why we needed surgical intervention in the first place. It's a wise woman who realizes she needs someone with experience to help deal with all of this. Good luck my dear. Keep me posted.

[Natasha Estrada 36]

Sounds like you might benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy.

In the book they give us to read preop with my program there is a section on grieving the loss of being able eat the way we used to. A therapist might help with that.

[ladykatie_ 117]

I'm going to call my doctor's office tomorrow and see if they can recommend me someone.

[sunnkistme 76]

Missing food is one of my biggest worries. I appreciate your honesty and would also like to hear updates if you do or do not seek some professional support. I am several months out from surgery (even approval for surgery). I am going to try going to one of the support groups within the next few weeks because I want to know how others are dealing with the loss of the relationship with food.< /p>

[terrydumont46 1,954]

I don't think we would be normal if we didn't have food envy. you are not in the green zone yet is why you are hungry after eating. talking with someone who has experience with wls would be beneficial,, I talk with my psychiatrist who than gives me some things to think about or do when I get to feeling anxious about the eating changes. also the PA at my surgeons office spends up to a hour discussing food, feelings, moods and body functions which is also helpful. you need to get your village together so you can be successful.

[SillyAuntDi 1,610]

No shame in visiting a therapist. I have an appointment today. She is one of my most important tools. I've had such anxiety associated with this whole process. She has given me tricks and tips. I would be so lost without her.

We have a lot to talk about today...like how I want to eat myself into a coma to deal with the nervousness of changing jobs. You know, little stuff like that...lol. Take care of yourself.

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi there, I really benefitted from seeing a therapist. I wanted some one to go through the process with me as I went through all the hoops leading up to surgery. I was brutally honest about everything -- no more excuses for my weight (it was the Prednisone, blah blah) -- it was my dependence on food to tamp down emotions. We really worked on the triggers and it felt a bit tedious at times. The where and when -- and we broke it down to specifics. I'm in the kitchen, the phone rings, it's my mother and I look for food. Or I'm doing something I don't want want to do, like a conference call, so I find food to prep myself. And reward after, or before and after a meeting, etc. So it was anxiety for me, tamping down that emotion. Now I let it come up and it's not so bad -- that overwhelm that felt like a tidal wave coming is like a Brook now. I look at it and try to relax. The food didn't really help anyway. Good luck to you! You have chosen your healthy future, you are choosing yourself. Sometimes our partners are a little nervous about this. Mine is a gem but even he was worried somewhere deep down that I wouldn't want him anymore once I shed the weight. He needed a little reassurance.

[KateB 63]

I've had the same problems. You just have to hang in there. It's all in our head and therefore you have to do a lot of self talk. And it is tiring. I clean, organize a closet, a kitchen drawer instead of doing a hobby. Distract myself from thinking about food. The pureed stage is tough just remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place. And the band will make it easier. I was mad that I couldn't eat the way I used to but I had to tell myself that that is what got me here in the first place. But I also know that it isn't a forever "no". I can eat whatever I want, in moderation. Especially when I get to my goal. I still have another 100 lbs. It will be worth it!!

[sophie'sChoice 269]

pureed stage is so hard. You finally get a bit of variety in terms of flavor but you still don't get to chew. It's rough getting through those first stages while your tummy heals. I say go for it in terms of the therapist. You might want to consider some sensitivity training for the hubby too! ha ha....shame on him for eating your favorites in front of you! Hang in there....it will get better!

[Terribj 208]

Yes, food envy is a constant. I'm almost 3 months post-op and I really hate eating. My husband is the cook (thank goodness) and is very fit and health aware. His meals are very good and nutritious. I feel bad because I eat so little.

I'm still working on my relationship with food and know that it will take time - just like it takes time to break old habits. I've had bad eating habits as long as I can remember. Thinking about ding dongs in grade school still make me smile.

I am still very happy with my decision, but I still have to work on those old habits.