No support from my husband and best friend!

[supremeh 30]

So recently I posted that I was starting my path to WLS again.I didn't want to tell my husband or best friend because last time I tried they did not support my decision.My first appointment with the surgeon is today. I told both of them and as usual they think I'm taking the "easy way out". What is easy about getting your stomach cut open???? My husband is really upset but says he is supportive,wtf!!! He thinks I'm going to die, or that I'll have complications, and he doesn't want to go to a support group meeting with me.I'm so frustrated, but I'm doing this for me, no matter what this time.I'll post a picture of me once I've come from my appointment along with my starting weight.

[shmily 424]

I also used to believe it was the easy way out until I checked into it for myself. It isn't. Ask you husband if he could survive on the restrictions that you will have..

[supremeh 30]

I also used to believe it was the easy way out until I checked into it for myself. It isn't. Ask you husband if he could survive on the restrictions that you will have..

You kno what,I love that!!!! I'm going to do just that!!#

[greensleeve 457]

Are they over weight too? I think spouses who object usually are scared that you will leave them when you reach goal.

Friends are usually threatened by your possible success.

I would talk to him about the actual numbers such as what your risk is from dying early due to obesity vs what the surgery risks are. If he is truly worried about your safety then he will at least listen to that. If he doesnt want to hear it, I would think there are deeper reasons like insecurity going on.

[supremeh 30]

Are they over weight too? I think spouses who object usually are scared that you will leave them when you reach goal.

Friends are usually threatened by your possible success.

I would talk to him about the actual numbers such as what your risk is from dying early due to obesity vs what the surgery risks are. If he is truly worried about your safety then he will at least listen to that. If he doesnt want to hear it, I would think there are deeper reasons like insecurity going on.

My husband is about 20 pounds overweight and my friend is bigger than me.and my husband has said things like u might leave him when I lose the weight

[greensleeve 457]

Are you happy in the marriage?

[supremeh 30]

I am, things are better with him.he says he is scared of the risk of surgery but I keep trying to tell him the risk of obesity

[greensleeve 457]

I would just reassure him that you are losing weight for your you, not to find a new man. Tell him that you want to be healthier and feel better about yourself.

[supremeh 30]

Good deal I will certainly give it a try

[supremeh 30]

Ok here are my stats

Bw: 302

Cw: 275.3

I have 5 more appointments before surgery

[ATTACH]45405[/ATTACH]

[healthyme1963 136]

It sounds like your husband is concerned about the risks of major surgery. Encourage him to attend your appointments with you so he can ask the surgeon/nurse/dietician/PT all the questions that he has. If he hasn't been to an informational seminar, drag him to one of those as well. Once he understands the risks of the surgery vs. the risks of morbid obesity, he will probably relax a bit. Good luck!

[Baconville 578]

I would have been ready for surgery a long time before I had it, but my husband was not on board and I wouldn't do it without his support. My weight got to a point that it was really effecting our lives. I lived on Advil and had constant knee and back pain. I tried to lose, but could not exercise at all. I finally convinced my husband to attend the informational seminar with me. We have gone though the process together. He was a bit overweight and has lost weight along with me. His support and encouragement have been a critical part of my success. If you have a healthy marriage, he should value your health, and he will come around. One thing that helped me was pointing out that they call it Morbid Obesity because it kills. If he wants you around to grow old with, he needs to allow you to have the surgery that will save your life. If you needed heart surgery, he wouldn't hesitate. This is really no different.

Good luck!

Carol

[AshleePage 65]

You always have us to support you & root you on!

[supremeh 30]

Thank you everyone for your kind words.I told my husband last night about a cousin who had very negative things to say about my decision to have wls and he got angry.this morning he went to the store to buy the foods that I need for the liver reduction diet! I guess he saw that it was hurtful to feel like he was against me, so I hope it continues