Family NON-Support

[embracing skinniness 4]

I am starting the gastric sleeve journey and have been at it for about 2 months. I was approved by Kaiser and I am now waiting to hear from them to take my options class. I let my mom know what I am doing and she seemed excited for me, my husband it super supportive, and our 6 boys say "whatever makes you happy mom, but we think you are beautiful."

My mom told my dad, Aunt and Uncle (who we are all close to) and everyone says "why can't she just diet and excersize." When my mom told me this it left me furious, I felt that it was not a fair statement to make and for the past 11 years I have done all of that, it didn't work.. obviously.

My question is, who has gone through this and what did you say to them? I am so mad I don't even know what to say to them and I tell it like it is even if you don't want to hear it so I don't want to pop off at the mouth and say something I may regret!

[supremeh 30]

I am starting the gastric sleeve journey and have been at it for about 2 months. I was approved by Kaiser and I am now waiting to hear from them to take my options class. I let my mom know what I am doing and she seemed excited for me, my husband it super supportive, and our 6 boys say "whatever makes you happy mom, but we think you are beautiful."

My mom told my dad, Aunt and Uncle (who we are all close to) and everyone says "why can't she just diet and excersize." When my mom told me this it left me furious, I felt that it was not a fair statement to make and for the past 11 years I have done all of that, it didn't work.. obviously.

My question is, who has gone through this and what did you say to them? I am so mad I don't even know what to say to them and I tell it like it is even if you don't want to hear it so I don't want to pop off at the mouth and say something I may regret!

I just posted the same topic.I can't stand that people think we haven't tried everything! Clearly we have or we wouldn't be on this step.the same people are going to be telling you how nice you look later!!! Just don't say anything about your personal journey to them, that's what I'm going to try to do.it's going to hard tho, because it's my husband and best friend who think I just need to hit the gym

[Bufflehead 6,358]

"You're so kind to take an interest in my health. This is a medical decision I've made together with my doctors in order to improve my health. I'd really appreciate any support you can give me. Thanks." repeat as necessary.

[blondiebabs 214]

Only 4 people know I am doing this and 1 had a super negative response. I'll admit that I had a bit of a melt down and popped off with some true statements about myself and she hasn't talked to me since. I'm not too worried about it because if she cares about me she will get over it since this does not affect her. I wouldn't have said those things to just anyone though, some people will take the things you say and try to hurt you with them, so I would be selective about how you phrase certain things. I like Bufflehead's suggestion. I'm just being super selective about who I'm going to let into my "circle of trust" now and the people who I've trusted with the information I made it very clear that I didn't want everyone to know right now.

[Mary Cade 23]

I haveno family member in my corner. My aunt told my mom about this women who died from wls and now my mom thinks I am going to die can't I just be happy being fat. No I will die being overweight.

[supremeh 30]

I haveno family member in my corner. My aunt told my mom about this women who died from wls and now my mom thinks I am going to die can't I just be happy being fat. No I will die being overweight.

Omg say it again!!!!!I keep saying if I stay fat I'll die for sure,I can't think of any fat 80 year old people!!!!

[embracing skinniness 4]

There is nothing like not having your damn family support you, it sucks!! I guess we just have to remember that this is OUR decision and OUR health and forget what they are going through!!

Yes, if we don't do this we will and not even live to be old. OBVIOUSLY we have tried everything if we hadn't then we would be healthy and physically fit but we aren't so we need help. Lets all stay focused and Im going to Buffleheads quote so I am being nice and honest but also telling them to shut it at the same time!!! Everyones comments are well appreciated thanks!

[bikrchk 1,313]

"You're so kind to take an interest in my health. This is a medical decision I've made together with my doctors in order to improve my health. I'd really appreciate any support you can give me. Thanks." repeat as necessary.

Yep. ^^^ That.

Additionally, if it's coming form someone who's opinion you care about, (my mother was incredibly scared for me when I first told her even though she was on board with the need), make an attempt to educate them. I took my mom to visit with my bariatric Nurse Coordinator, (who is a R\Y survivor of 13 years). That did wonders to relieve her fear.

[embracing skinniness 4]

"You're so kind to take an interest in my health. This is a medical decision I've made together with my doctors in order to improve my health. I'd really appreciate any support you can give me. Thanks." repeat as necessary.

Yep. ^^^ That.

Additionally, if it's coming form someone who's opinion you care about, (my mother was incredibly scared for me when I first told her even though she was on board with the need), make an attempt to educate them. I took my mom to visit with my bariatric Nurse Coordinator, (who is a R\Y survivor of 13 years). That did wonders to relieve her fear.

Yes, I am taking my mom to the Surgeons class I have to attend. I told her she needs to go and doesn't have a choice! If she talks to the doctor then I know she will be able to stick up for me a little more.

[TonyaNKy 79]

My mom tried to talk me out of it. My husband is super supportive. However, if I had done this when I was married to my ex, I wouldn't have gotten anything but lip.

I had talked to his grandmother about it and she said, Well, I think wls is just a cop out. God, that made me so mad. Thank GOD that family is out of my life!!

[countrygrl1978 26]

My family doesn't know. I have no intention of telling them. My mom and sister are very into appearance, and have had a lot of plastic surgery. And they bash...the easy way out. So why go through the bs.

[embracing skinniness 4]

My family doesn't know. I have no intention of telling them. My mom and sister are very into appearance, and have had a lot of plastic surgery. And they bash...the easy way out. So why go through the bs.

I think all women in my family have had some sort of plastic surgery except me, Im not saying its bad because I would love some myself but you're right don't bash because I don't look like you! Being in San Diego for some reason I think makes it worse to be overweight and not have plastic surgery.

[countrygrl1978 26]

I lived in north county for years, and it seemed like everywhere I went I got looks. Now I live about 90 minutes from there and I get worse comments and looks from family than strangers

My family doesn't know. I have no intention of telling them. My mom and sister are very into appearance, and have had a lot of plastic surgery. And they bash...the easy way out. So why go through the bs.

I think all women in my family have had some sort of plastic surgery except me, Im not saying its bad because I would love some myself but you're right don't bash because I don't look like you! Being in San Diego for some reason I think makes it worse to be overweight and not have plastic surgery.

[par1959 470]

Maybe it an age thing. At 54 and 13 days post op I really dont care what others think about my decision. My family is very supportive and I dont make a habit of telling others my medical issues, but if some one does make a negitive comment I am not going to let it bother me. I know they are ignorant and if they press the issue I have no problem telling them so. I got the same thing when I finished raising my kids and decided to start riding a motorcycle again. I swear everyone knows someone that has been killed or seriously injured riding and has to mention it. That can also be said about riding in a car. Big deal, life is full of risks. Happy are those that dream dreams and are willing to pay the price for them to come true.