Anyone else not want family sticking around after surgery?

[NicoleSW 78]

Apparently I am a bit strange in that I don't want my family hanging out after I have surgery. My boyfriend is mad at me because I told him that he can come for the surgery and afterwards I want him to go home and care for my furbabies. I am the type of person that if I'm in pain or sick I just want to be left alone and I have a habit of being a complete b*tch after anesthesia. (I don't mean to be...). I don't want my family to see me all gassy and doped up on pain meds, nor do I want them in the room when they are checking incisions and whatnot. Plus I feel like he will be better off at home if I'm getting up every two hours to walk. I'm not trying to be mean or insensitive but I had a stereo-tactic breast biopsy done in 2011 and I refused to allow anyone to go (not for lack of their trying). I drove myself there, drove myself home and cried afterwards only because I couldn't go into Wal-Mart before going home because I bled on my favorite shirt haha. When I brought that up, he states it was different because it was outpatient and I was awake the whole time which was still traumatizing after I dropped my boob through a hole in an elevated table and saw the size of the ummm...extraction tool(?) they were using. Am I being unreasonable? We've had this same conversation a couple times and each time he acts like he hasn't heard a word that I've said. Maybe security can kick him out? Lol...KIDDING! Kinda...

[tigerlily14 35]

Girl I told my family the same thing ill be in for 48 to 72 hours and its just going to be me and God. I wanna be by my self I'm sure ill get lonely but I got a phone lol I can call them

[ladykatie_ 117]

I think you know yourself better than anyone and your boyfriend should respect your wishes. Right after my surgery and throughout the night of, people came and visited me and I hardly remember it because I was in so much pain and on meds. I appreciated it, of course, but it might've been better if they had all just waited to visit me at home so I was at least conscious.

[NicoleSW 78]

Thanks for the input ladies. I will have to show him that I'm not the only one.

[momohime 121]

I felt pretty much the same way. I didn't want my surgery to be a big production.. that being said, I did have my best friend stay with me. I trusted her and knew she wouldn't hover over me. I was pretty wobbly for the first day after my surgery because of anesthesia though, so walking by myself wasn't a good idea. I also couldn't bend easily or get out of bed without a little assistance.. I preferred my friend's help over having to call a RN/CNA every time I needed something, but that might just be me.

But anyway.. it's your surgery day. Do what YOU need to do to decrease your stress and be as comfortable as possible.. even if that means not having anyone there, including your BF. He might just need to feel like he's doing something for you though.. so tell him there are important things he can be doing for you at home, like taking care of your fur babies so you don't have to worry about them! Or if you haven't bought jell-o and popsicles or whatever else, give him a list that of things he can pick up and have ready for you when you get home. You know, just.. something to keep him occupied while you're in the hospital that can distract him from worrying about you!

[shmily 424]

I was fortunate that the hospital I used did not allow anyone there the day of surgery and the next day except for the caregiver, who was my husband and was an absolute angel

[Wallflower7522 328]

I felt the exact same way. Unfortunate it didn't work and people still showed up anyway but not as many as I think would have if I wouldn't have told them not to. I initially told my husband not to stay, but I was grateful that he didn't listen. You might need help in the hospital and the nurses won't always be there, so that's one thing to consider.

[jtickle 295]

I told my husband to go home after my surgery since there will be nurses to care for me and I will be sleeping most of the time. He was fine with that plus we have dogs so he will have to care for them for a couple of days. I am only staying in the hospital overnight, so he said he would be back in morning when I am feeling better. Obviously, he will have to drive me home.

[bapzz34 5]

I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks so it's a good thing my husband and family stayed visiting me.

[Angelkeeper4 69]

Being alone is my plan...we'll see if they cooperate

[NicoleSW 78]

I'm all for visits, but I just need to have them go home after a certain, per agreed upon time hahahaha!

[blackonynx 27]

I laughed out loudly when I read your post..I just want you to know that you definitely are not alone. I don't even want mine there while I'm in surgery.

[lisad97411 5]

I sent my husband and friends home too. I just wanted to sleep and not feel like I need to entertain. Even on phone I kept nodding off and shut of my phone. I would post an update a day on Facebook to keep friends and family updated.

[lauramae 26]

I haven't had my surgery yet but I don't think I could keep my family away if I wanted to. We are a close family and I'm the youngest at 52. Each of my sisters have indicated that they will be at the hospital as well as some friends. I'm ok with that as long as they don't expect me to entertain them.

[DaronB 103]

Your family and boyfriend should respect your wishes, but their resistance is understandable. They just want to support you!

As for me, I love being the center of attention so for those that I HAVE told can feel free to be there when I have it done lol.