I should be thrilled

[loveurself1 21]

I started my journey weighing 246 before surgery, I'm 5'7. My surgery was April 25th & I went to see my doctors again yesterday & they told me that I have lost wonderfully so far. Yesterday I weighed in at 211lbs. I'm almost 5 weeks out. The docs had nothing but nice things to say about how great of a job I'm doing & that I'm healing so freaking fast. But I know I should be very excited but I don't know what's wrong with me. This weight loss is something that I've been praying for for a very long time. I've always been good at loosing weight but not keeping it off. My body has changed so much within this past month. I'm down to a size 12/14. But I just can't seem to grasp it yet & Celebrate my success. I'm not claiming depression, not at all but I just don't know what's going on with me right now! I should be ecstatic but I'm just ok right now. I know this is a tmi to some but I'm hoping it's just because of that time of the month and hopefully this feeling will past very soon!!!!

[joatsaint 2,814]

Even before I started losing a significant amount of weight, I was anxious. I had been overweight for 40 years. I knew how to be fat. Now I had to learn to be thin. I don't know how to be thin!!!!!!! But I'm working on it.

Plus, after being overweight for so long, losing weight was a dream I had given up on. So for the longest time, I kept expecting something to go wrong and I'd gain the weight back.

It took me many months to embrace the idea that my weight was finally under my control and I was finally at a normal weight.

Take it a day at a time and eventually the dream will become reality.

Good luck on your weight loss.

[LynnRinKY 15]

For many of us we have been overweight for a long time. It has become part of who we are and in some cases we've let it define who we are. Suddenly losing that much weight is bound to cause some kind of emotional reaction/identity crisis. Yes, this is what you've always wanted but there is likely a part of you that is scared...you don't know who you are without the weight.

[loveurself1 21]

Even before I started losing a significant amount of weight, I was anxious. I had been overweight for 40 years. I knew how to be fat. Now I had to learn to be thin. I don't know how to be thin!!!!!!! But I'm working on it.

Plus, after being overweight for so long, losing weight was a dream I had given up on. So for the longest time, I kept expecting something to go wrong and I'd gain the weight back.

It took me many months to embrace the idea that my weight was finally under my control and I was finally at a normal weight.

Take it a day at a time and eventually the dream will become reality.

Good luck on your weight loss.

Thank you so much for sharing your struggles. Seems like you're on the right track no. And good luck to you too on your continued weight loss.

[loveurself1 21]

For many of us we have been overweight for a long time. It has become part of who we are and in some cases we've let it define who we are. Suddenly losing that much weight is bound to cause some kind of emotional reaction/identity crisis. Yes, this is what you've always wanted but there is likely a part of you that is scared...you don't know who you are without the weight.

I totally agree with you! This is finally becoming a reality for me & I just don't know how to deal with this right now. This is happening so fast but i know I'll eventually Celebrate my success. Thank you for helping me to understand this a little better.

[Tamosy 65]

This may be in part some melancholy from your cycle. However, there is a big adjustment in wrapping our heads around the fact that we are approaching a "normal weight" not just losing weight, but for most of us, doing it with confidence we will never again struggle like we have in the past to keep it off. What would that be like, to lose weight, get to a normal weight, wear normal clothes, shop like normal weight people, and do it all without the anxiety of knowing it is probably temporary.

That's a HUGE psychological shift. I still feel embarrassed when people talk about my weight and appearance. Its so personal... I don't want attention, but people can't help themselves. I can't wait to be normal for so long, people forget the old physical version and I am just me again.

I posted a picture on Facebook this past weekend of me and a friend enjoying ourselves at a concert and had a ton of comments from people about how skinny and hot I looked. I wanted to pull it down, but worried that would draw more attention. I felt for one, it must have been a crazy flattering picture because I do not see myself the way these people were commenting, you'd think I looked like a Baywatch star (I most definitely do not!). It was so freaking embarrassing to me. But I ran into someone who posted one of those comments the next day (she hadn't seen me since last summer) and she was very insistant that I need to get used to the fact I look good (she said amazing) and until I get used to that and accept that people are just happy for me, it will keep me feeling awkward. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I don't want to talk about my decision to have surgery with everyone under the sun. I don't want to talk about my weight, body, or appearance period.... I'm still the same person. It's a personal journey to me. One I share with people close to me, though I am a very sociable and widely networked person.

We all have to make adjustments and psychological shifts as we can't hide that we are physically changing and people want to talk about it.

I will say this though, I had a lot of odd fluctuations in my emotional state during month 2 and 3, I suspect from the shock of surgery, hormonal fluctuations from weight loss etc. I was a low BMIer so maybe it is longer for others with more weight to lose. I'm losing about a pound a week now and have been for a the last month (totally fine with that)... I feel great, totally normal. I wouldn't care if I stayed just like I am for the rest of my life.

[lcoll 12]

Its a huge change. Dropping pounds and sizes is a wonderful feeling however for me the mental change is a hard one to manage sometimes. I think about food all the time now.. just in a different way. I worry about not getting enough in... i worry about not being hungry... I even worry about the flabbing skin my weight loss is leaving behind.

Some days its hard to be happy about it all because there is so much to think about. I just try to focus on the wins... the days i look in the mirror and i kinda almost like my body. I am not avoiding the full lenth mirror anymore and today... I saw some space between my thighs!!

Im 4 months out now and i have to say its gotten easier. Focus on your health and living a happy life... the other will come!!

You are doing great! keep posting here... when I feel lost or down or even the few times I thought- why did I do this... My PALS always pull me through... they know how I feel!

Good luck and hang in there!!!

[loveurself1 21]

Thank you all sooooooo much for your stories and encouraging words. It means a lot to have people other than your family that can & will lift your spirits from time to time. You guys don't know how much that means to me. And I will continue to posts & also read & comment on you guys posts. Thanks a whole lot for making me feel better. :-)

[dfwtxmissy 108]

I still have this insane dream that it will all come back, but it hasn't..

Don't psyche yourself out.

I hit a stall and was concerned until it dawned on me that I was under alot of stress of house hunting which would drive anyone nuts..

Now that we found a house and I can relax, pounds have started falling off and have found I need a size 12 in pants...

So don't psyche yourself out. Enjoy the ride even with the occasional bump, you will be ok.

[is it just me 80]

I'm 7 months out and 90lbs done... Went from size 26 to size 14 and I still feel the way u do.............. In my head I think I'm still overly fat, so lately I been taking pictures of myself so I can see myself.................

[losingsoon 30]

Wow, This is just the thread I needed. I am just getting started on this journey. I have been thinking a lot about what I will feel like when the weight is gone. I am only 4' 10" and I weigh 267. I have been obese all my life. Only once in my adult life did I get close to being at a reasonable weight and that is when I was on the weight loss clinic diet and went down to 142. When I was there I could not see the "thinner" me. I'm concerned I will be in the same place now and will still feel like a fat person. More importantly, I won't feel like ME. I can see that it is a huge relearning process. I'm just turning 65. I hope I this surgery gives me the time to relearn who I am and can finally feel like a normal person.

[KrissySMD 38]

Anyone else a new sleever (less than 10 days) that's still in pain and hard to get outta bed? Also having trouble getting all my requirements in. My tummy is just not ready I think.