Ponder this...

[Stevee 0]

This isn't a rant or a rave...just something i want to get thoughts on... i respect everyones opions here and would love to get some feedback. Lets get deep in thought this morning.... i heard the following in a song and want to see what ya'll think of it....

"Is it only love when you're loved in return?"

thanks in advance for any and everyones responses!

[Kat817 19]

In my opinion no.

I realize there are many types of love, and therefore this could be taken in many ways....but I beleive in all cases, your feelings do not necessarily hinge upon theirs.

I loved my child before it was born. My DH once told me he loved me before he even knew it---that he loved the kind of person I was, and wanted the kind of relationship we had, before we ever had it.

If you read posts, or talk to a friend who has had a relationship go bad, you can see the love they still have....or it wouldn't hurt so badly. Even if they aren't still loved in return.

So in my opinion No, if you love, you can love without the feeling being returned.

Kat

[Stevee 0]

thank you! i love deep thoughts like this!

[Carlene 12]

Literature is full of stories of unrequinted love. So sad....to love someone who does not love you in return. People sometimes get taken advantage of in these situations, like poor Christina Onasis. She loved Thierry Roussel and was so keen to be his bride, she paid him $30 million dollars to say "I do".

I would say, though, that it's not a love affair unless you're both onboard the Love Boat.

[anonemouse 1]

I am honestly not sure if real romantic love exists. I think there are feelings out there that we classify as "love" when we feel them, but an actual emotion called "love"? I don't know. I think that lust exists, and infatuation, and friendship and comfort, and I think that if we experience all those at once toward a certain person, we call it "love", but I really don't think that any of us have a "true love" out there.

[Stevee 0]

i would disagree there. i think true love does exsist. but most dont get to experience it. i hadnt until my current relationship. and in my 2 previous relationships i knew it wasnt true love and that it ultimately wouldnt last. but with my g/f we share something so great, something i wish everyone could feel. a connection beyond connection, a love so strong that even when we are away from each other we still feel as though we are together, as though we are inside of each other, a love so strong that the minute we are apart we already miss each other, a bond so tight that we always finish each others sentenses or even say something the other was about to say, a connection so deep that honestly sex has nothing to do with. i believe there is such thing as true love. i dont so much think love is an emotion as it is an action word. to love someone truely means you will do anything and everything for that person and with every inch of your body mind and soul you feel deeply for that person. And Monique if you get to read this.. that is what I feel for you. you are my rock, my safe place, my landing pad. Thank you

I wish that EVERYONE gets to feel this at some point in their life!

[foodstampchamp 3]

I am honestly not sure if real romantic love exists. I think there are feelings out there that we classify as "love" when we feel them, but an actual emotion called "love"? I don't know. I think that lust exists, and infatuation, and friendship and comfort, and I think that if we experience all those at once toward a certain person, we call it "love", but I really don't think that any of us have a "true love" out there.

This is just a guess. Not trying to be insulting in the least. But do you have children? I'm guessing no. Because I don't think I ever really, truly , knew what full on unconditional love was until I had my first child. Except of course for my wonderful, loving mother. But I loved my newborn even though she didn't really knew I existed. I mean I was probably just a heartbeat sound to her at the beginning.

[anonemouse 1]

This is just a guess. Not trying to be insulting in the least. But do you have children? I'm guessing no. Because I don't think I ever really, truly , knew what full on unconditional love was until I had my first child. Except of course for my wonderful, loving mother. But I loved my newborn even though she didn't really knew I existed. I mean I was probably just a heartbeat sound to her at the beginning.

That's why I qualified my statement by saying "romantic love". I'm just guessing here, but I doubt you love your kids romantically.

[neveragain 9]

I was going to put a whole thing about how love is, simply, a chemical reaction and, make no mistake, it may very well be. Why, though, would I want to put all stock in that? I don't know. I'm bitter.

Now, to more specifically answer your question about what I think:

I think that love can be felt by one person, but I think that it intensifies if both involved parties felt the same.

[Morsaille 4]

To be in love by yourself is a wasting disease.

You really don't mind it, but to give all that time, attention and energy to someone who doesn't give in return will eventually kill you; your soul can starve. Devotion is different than love - it is a religion of sorts.

The lyric, IMO, was 'right' in that LOVE is self-sustaining. Obsession is dangerous.

[Autumn444 0]

I believe love is a blessing.... feeling it is wonderful, but truly accepting ones love is something so few people can do. There is to many things flooding their ability to open themselves up to ones complete and pure love. Its magic.... its beauty, its truth, ITS LOVE!!!!!!!!

[foodstampchamp 3]

That's why I qualified my statement by saying "romantic love". I'm just guessing here, but I doubt you love your kids romantically.

lol, true, I do not love my kids romantically. lol

[musicalmomma 1]

I'm a little late getting on the love boat here...

There are different types, stages and degrees of love. The emotion of love is the baby stages of love. That's the stuff that gives you the butterflies and makes you pine away when you're apart. Most folks who have been married for decades will tell you that they had to "work at it". This indicates that more mature love, the kind that is meaningful and lasts, is a choice. I know my husband and I love each other with a mature love. How do I know this? Because even though our huge stomachs make the physical love difficult...I KNOW that man would be there to change my diaper and push my wheel chair if I was too fat or too old to do it and I would do the same for him. He is worth the choice...he's more than an attraction for me. He is a precious man. He is a man I admire, trust and confide in.

I will say, I can't wait for the stomachs to disappear (he's getting banded too) cuz I'd sure like more physical interaction...he's a darn good lookin man and I ain't so bad myself

Back to original question...Yep, I think you can love someone that doesn't love you back...actually, it happens all the time.

[Daisalana 33]

It sounds cliche, but when I think about love.. real love.. you can't sum it up in words. That's how I feel about it. If I had to put on paper how I felt about my fiance, there's no words that feel adequate, big enough, strong enough, and 'felt' enough to explain what I feel. This song always summed up my relationship with fiance.. (more than words by extreme)

Saying I love you

Is not the words I want to hear from you

Its not that I want you

Not to say, but if you only knew

How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real

Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me

Cos Id already know

My family is big on saying I love you everytime we talk, and that's fine.. but with fiance, couple years ago, we weren't saying I love you, but we lived together and had been together a while.. and one day we talked about it.. And he said "If I have to say I love you, for you to know, I'm doing something wrong". Ever since, whenever it's an 'I love you' kind of moment, he just gets this soft look and nuzzles me. I know it's gooey LOL. But saying I love you just doesn't do justice sometimes. I don't think I answered the original question, I'm off on my own tangent..