Now what, looking for non-sugar coated truth!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

I went in yesterday for my monthly follow-up appointment and am down another 7lbs, which puts me 10lbs below my goal weight. I never thought I would get here and I'm thrilled, I haven't been this weight since I was like 14:-)

Here comes a statement I never thought I would say..... I don't want to lose any more. I'm happy where I'm at right now, I don't want to lose and I don't want to gain, I just want to stay here. I'm not sure how to level this thing out:-) I asked my doctor and he said the band will stop at a certain point but that doesn't mean it will stop at MY point so, he suggested I start adding in more calories, which of course is the logical thing to do BUT it scares the **** out of me! Since I've completed my once a month follow-up care plan for the 1st year I know the typical thing is for them to see you every quarter for the second year, so I asked my doctor if it was ok with him if I just kept coming in every month and he said absolutely, he would do whatever made me feel more comfortable and if that's what I needed to do then he was good with that. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to figure this out. My doctor basically told me I just need to relax a little and things will fall into place, but you see I'm such a control freak that the thought of not being in control and flying by the seat of my pants has got me in a whirlwind. I feel like being out of control with my eating is what got me at 289lbs in the first place so I need honest truthful advice. Am I just making more of this then I should or is this a typical concern? @@2muchfun @@B-52 @@catfish87 @@gowalking

@@CarolinaGirl

Edited June 3, 2014 by enjoythetime

[2muchfun 8,927]

I recommend keeping up the exercise routines no matter what. I envy you as I don't think I'll ever get to the point you're at now? I think once I get to my goal weight my struggle will continue.

I agree with your doc. Relax, start eating real eggs, maybe 2 instead of 1? Add a little bigger dash of cheese on that taco? Throw in some healthy Snacks like nuts, eat more than 2! Just keep the trigger foods out of reach. Maybe just let the issue take care of itself?

I can understand the fear you're having but it's not a reality for me and probably never will be, so it's like me feeling for a woman having a baby, I'll never really understand?? My fear is 180° from yours.

[betty_s 476]

I'm no where near this, but I can understand your fear. I'm either all or nothing, so I would be afraid cutting some slack would make me re-gain all the weight. But I think tmf 's plan sounds good, add a few things here and there.

Oh what it would feel like to NOT want to lose weight!! Do you think your body will level out on its own? Or do you think its wants to be way smaller than you want to be?

[gowalking 10,790]

You are right tmf...you are not a woman and have no understanding...lol. I however, am a woman...I'm reminded every time I sit to pee...lol..and I understand what enjoy is saying perfectly. I too am 10 lbs. less than my doctor's goal of 150 lbs. I've decided to continue to eat as I have been and the weight loss will stop when my body simply is done giving it up. I'm in no danger of becoming anorexic...I love food too much for that. (Oh and I've been spoken to by friends who are concerned I might be headed that way. It makes me laugh inside...You don't know me vewwy well, do you?)

For enjoy however, she is truly ready to maintain and wants to make sure the scale doesn't creep up. Here's my advice darlin'...add Protein to your diet. Not carbs, not garbage. ...and you know what I mean by garbage. Don't have a larger helping of potatoes. Don't drink another glass of wine...or a cocktail. Holy Moley...cocktails have so much sugar and calories, it's nuts. Keep up your exercise. If you stop or slow down, it becomes a slippery slope.

Protein is easy to tweak. If you go up to 4 oz. for lunch or dinner and the scale goes up, then take it down a notch. I'm a carbaholic so it would be hard for me to be playing around with my Pasta. I so get you my control freak friend. We are sisters for sure. But at some time, we must give up some of that control and just try to live our lives.

Let me know how it goes, feel free to PM me if you need to so I can talk you off the ledge if necessary..lol. Have a good one today. Hope the weather is beautiful in MO. It's gorgeous here in The Big Apple today.

Edited June 3, 2014 by gowalking

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Thanks so much! You are very successful! You are mananging and maintaining and I haven't gotten to that point yet so you are a wonderful example of how it's done. Thanks for the advice. I do believe you're right. I just need to chill out:-) Maintaining is completely unknown waters to me. Both times that I've lost large amounts of weight, I ended up prego so there was no trying to maintain through that so I literally have no clue what it's about. Thanks as always for your help! I'm just going to take it one day at a time one meal at a time and see where it takes me.

I recommend keeping up the exercise routines no matter what. I envy you as I don't think I'll ever get to the point you're at now? I think once I get to my goal weight my struggle will continue.

I agree with your doc. Relax, start eating real eggs, maybe 2 instead of 1? Add a little bigger dash of cheese on that taco? Throw in some healthy Snacks like nuts, eat more than 2! Just keep the trigger foods out of reach. Maybe just let the issue take care of itself?

I can understand the fear you're having but it's not a reality for me and probably never will be, so it's like me feeling for a woman having a baby, I'll never really understand?? My fear is 180° from yours.

Edited June 3, 2014 by enjoythetime

[enjoythetime 1,457]

gowalking I am literally cracking up right now, this was hilarious!!! I've been stressing since yesteday so I needed this!! It was so funny because yesterday before I left for my appointment I remember reading your post saying you were down to 139.6.....congrats!! and then when I got on the scale and it said 140.0 I just giggled and thought yep here we are together again:-)

You're absolutely right, I just need to be smart on how and where I increase my calories and I should be just fine. I know what you're saying about the alcohol. We went to a BBQ this past weekend and the cocktails and shots were flowing and everyone was asking me why are you drinking Water and my response was do you know how many calories your pounding down....lol

I guess this means I really do need to invest the purchase of a scale so that I can monitor and find out what works and what doesnt. I'm not messing with the Pasta, bread, pizza, etc. because those are all trigger foods for me and I know that if I start adding those back into my lifestyle things could get ugly, like I said I chose to give those up forever when I decided to have this surgery and I need to stick with that.

It's so refreshing to hear that I'm not alone, that it's not just me being OCD. I know you completely get where I'm coming from. Like we've said so many times we are as close to identical as two people can be on this journey.

Thanks for your advice and encouragement. We will figure this out. I may take you up on the PM:-) You feel free to do the same!!!

The weather is fantastic here in MO 90 degrees today, which is right up my alley, swimming with the kiddos this afternoon and I can't wait!

Have a great day!! ((hugs))

You are right tmf...you are not a woman and have no understanding...lol. I however, am a woman...I'm reminded every time I sit to pee...lol..and I understand what enjoy is saying perfectly. I too am 10 lbs. less than my doctor's goal of 150 lbs. I've decided to continue to eat as I have been and the weight loss will stop when my body simply is done giving it up. I'm in no danger of becoming anorexic...I love food too much for that. (Oh and I've been spoken to by friends who are concerned I might be headed that way. It makes me laugh inside...You don't know me vewwy well, do you?)

For enjoy however, she is truly ready to maintain and wants to make sure the scale doesn't creep up. Here's my advice darlin'...add Protein to your diet. Not carbs, not garbage. ...and you know what I mean by garbage. Don't have a larger helping of potatoes. Don't drink another glass of wine...or a cocktail. Holy Moley...cocktails have so much sugar and calories, it's nuts. Keep up your exercise. If you stop or slow down, it becomes a slippery slope.

Protein is easy to tweak. If you go up to 4 oz. for lunch or dinner and the scale goes up, then take it down a notch. I'm a carbaholic so it would be hard for me to be playing around with my Pasta. I so get you my control freak friend. We are sisters for sure. But at some time, we must give up some of that control and just try to live our lives.

Let me know how it goes, feel free to PM me if you need to so I can talk you off the ledge if necessary..lol. Have a good one today. Hope the weather is beautiful in MO. It's gorgeous here in The Big Apple today.

Edited June 3, 2014 by enjoythetime

[enjoythetime 1,457]

You nailed it with your statement "I'm all or nothing"....me too girl! Im sure eventually my body will level itself out that's what the Dr. said but I just feel that I'm at my sweet spot right now and honestly with this big coconut head filled with big curly hair I'm not sure I would look right if I lost much more...haha, so I don't want to find myself there either.

You will be here before you know it!!!

I'm not sure

I'm no where near this, but I can understand your fear. I'm either all or nothing, so I would be afraid cutting some slack would make me re-gain all the weight. But I think tmf 's plan sounds good, add a few things here and there.

Oh what it would feel like to NOT want to lose weight!! Do you think your body will level out on its own? Or do you think its wants to be way smaller than you want to be?

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@enjoythetime @@gowalking Ok I guess I could tell you both that I could stand to be more like you both. Then again after thinking about that for a minute...nope I don't have time in my life for obsessions, passions maybe not obsessions about any one thing

The serious point here friends, ALL friends is that this behavior is not good for you. Underweight is as dangerous as overweight. I'm sorry to be the one to bearer of the bad news here, but you asked for not sugar coated right?!

Part of this whole journey was psychological care, and maybe it's time for a bit of follow up now that your on the other side of the obesity marker. I'm not saying your nuts..so don't think that... but it doesn't take bones protruding to have an anorexic like thoughts or behavior, and often times we can switch out one eating behavior for another all too easily.

Eating only tiny amounts of food, and eating less and less when your body needs more and more is what anorexia nervosa is. By definition "Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder that causes people to obsess about their weight and the food they eat."

Your body won't level out for you when your don't losing weight. You have to know when your too thin when to listen to your Dr. and eat more. Do it nutritiously, make good choices of food, things that fuel your body and make your body happy. Proteins, fruit, vegies, sometimes a treat or two. Whatever that means to you and it doesn't have to be trigger foods...and if your obsessing or upset about it, feeling off give yourself a break and have a talk with a friend, see a therapist, go for acupuncture, get a massage, and just live your life and be happy!

How's that for sugar free????

Edited June 3, 2014 by lisacaron

[catfish87 3,471]

Congrats again on your remarkable success....you are a great example of what giving "100%" means.

I don't think your concern is unusual at all. I've read 100's of post about this very topic over the years. However, I haven't ever had a fear of not being able to level off or stop losing.

You've gotten some great advice already from your surgeon and friends above, just relax a little and enjoy your new life.

How much do you think your band has limited your eating vs self control? The reason I ask, is for me, self control is a limited quanity. Willpower only last(ed) so long. Thats why I'm so glad our surgery is adjustable.

again....CONGRATS! You've earned it!

[gowalking 10,790]

@@enjoythetime @@gowalking Ok I guess I could tell you both that I could stand to be more like you both. Then again after thinking about that for a minute...nope I don't have time in my life for obsessions, passions maybe not obsessions about any one thing

The serious point here friends, ALL friends is that this behavior is not good for you. Underweight is as dangerous as overweight. I'm sorry to be the one to bearer of the bad news here, but you asked for not sugar coated right?!

Part of this whole journey was psychological care, and maybe it's time for a bit of follow up now that your on the other side of the obesity marker. I'm not saying your nuts..so don't think that... but it doesn't take bones protruding to have an anorexic like thoughts or behavior, and often times we can switch out one eating behavior for another all too easily.

Eating only tiny amounts of food, and eating less and less when your body needs more and more is what anorexia nervosa is. By definition "Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder that causes people to obsess about their weight and the food they eat."

Your body won't level out for you when your don't losing weight. You have to know when your too thin when to listen to your Dr. and eat more. Do it nutritiously, make good choices of food, things that fuel your body and make your body happy. Proteins, fruit, vegies, sometimes a treat or two. Whatever that means to you and it doesn't have to be trigger foods...and if your obsessing or upset about it, feeling off give yourself a break and have a talk with a friend, see a therapist, go for acupuncture, get a massage, and just live your life and be happy!

How's that for sugar free????

..and that's why I love ya truthspeaker!! I've made steps in the direction of 'the rest of my life'. No more myfitnesspal, no more daily or even weekly weighing. I eat till I'm not hungry and then I stop. Some days this is easier than others but that's still my goal for each day.

All you have to be is happy with yourself and healthy. If you achieve that, you've achieved success.

OOOhhh...a GREAT topic for a later support group! LOL!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

@@lisacaron

Yep, sugar free, just as I requested, I want honest feedback and you provided it and I appreciate that!

I'm happy where I'm at right now, I don't want to lose more weight. My thinking was that if I were to continue eating the 1200 calories I've been consuming as recommended by my doctor throughout my journey that eventually my body would level out and at some point I'm sure it will but I'm ready to level out here and my body wants to keep going. Do I obsess about it? At times absolutely, I'm concerned about leveling out and maintaining where I am right now. I treat myself now and then, I don't deprive myself, but even with those treats factored in, I'm still losing and that's what I'm trying to figure out which brings me to what you, 2muchfun and gowalking said about taking my Dr.'s advice and adding in more calories in the way of nutritious choices and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I need to let go, I need to enjoy where I am right here and now. I'm just a worry wart, I worry about everything, which is probably another reason I was 289lbs, so obviosuly that's not healthy either:-)

This feedback is exactly what I needed. It helps me put things in perspective. I will probably need to be reeled back in now and then so I may be asking for more of your truthfulness in the future!

Thanks so much!

@@enjoythetime @@gowalking Ok I guess I could tell you both that I could stand to be more like you both. Then again after thinking about that for a minute...nope I don't have time in my life for obsessions, passions maybe not obsessions about any one thing

The serious point here friends, ALL friends is that this behavior is not good for you. Underweight is as dangerous as overweight. I'm sorry to be the one to bearer of the bad news here, but you asked for not sugar coated right?!

Part of this whole journey was psychological care, and maybe it's time for a bit of follow up now that your on the other side of the obesity marker. I'm not saying your nuts..so don't think that... but it doesn't take bones protruding to have an anorexic like thoughts or behavior, and often times we can switch out one eating behavior for another all too easily.

Eating only tiny amounts of food, and eating less and less when your body needs more and more is what anorexia nervosa is. By definition "Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder that causes people to obsess about their weight and the food they eat."

Your body won't level out for you when your don't losing weight. You have to know when your too thin when to listen to your Dr. and eat more. Do it nutritiously, make good choices of food, things that fuel your body and make your body happy. Proteins, fruit, vegies, sometimes a treat or two. Whatever that means to you and it doesn't have to be trigger foods...and if your obsessing or upset about it, feeling off give yourself a break and have a talk with a friend, see a therapist, go for acupuncture, get a massage, and just live your life and be happy!

How's that for sugar free? ???

[enjoythetime 1,457]

@@catfish87 thanks so much! Funny you should ask the question about whether the band is limiting my eating or if it's me, because my doctor asked me the same thing. A majority of the time I'm stepping in and stopping myself before the band does so maybe I need to stop trying to control the band and let it do it's thing:-) Yes, thank goodness it's flexible because obviously I'm not so great at that:-)!!! Thanks for your feedback I really appreciate it!

You're 100% right, I need to relax and enjoy life afterall this is what I did this for not to set here and worry about this and that.

Congrats again on your remarkable success....you are a great example of what giving "100%" means.

I don't think your concern is unusual at all. I've read 100's of post about this very topic over the years. However, I haven't ever had a fear of not being able to level off or stop losing.

You've gotten some great advice already from your surgeon and friends above, just relax a little and enjoy your new life.

How much do you think your band has limited your eating vs self control? The reason I ask, is for me, self control is a limited quanity. Willpower only last(ed) so long. Thats why I'm so glad our surgery is adjustable.

again....CONGRATS! You've earned it!

[Bandista 7,466]

Are you eating healthy oils and nuts, avocados, etc.? This might be a good time to introduce those -- so good for you in every way.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I went in yesterday for my monthly follow-up appointment and am down another 7lbs, which puts me 10lbs below my goal weight. I never thought I would get here and I'm thrilled, I haven't been this weight since I was like 14:-)

Here comes a statement I never thought I would say..... I don't want to lose any more. I'm happy where I'm at right now, I don't want to lose and I don't want to gain, I just want to stay here. I'm not sure how to level this thing out:-) I asked my doctor and he said the band will stop at a certain point but that doesn't mean it will stop at MY point so, he suggested I start adding in more calories, which of course is the logical thing to do BUT it scares the **** out of me! Since I've completed my once a month follow-up care plan for the 1st year I know the typical thing is for them to see you every quarter for the second year, so I asked my doctor if it was ok with him if I just kept coming in every month and he said absolutely, he would do whatever made me feel more comfortable and if that's what I needed to do then he was good with that. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to figure this out. My doctor basically told me I just need to relax a little and things will fall into place, but you see I'm such a control freak that the thought of not being in control and flying by the seat of my pants has got me in a whirlwind. I feel like being out of control with my eating is what got me at 289lbs in the first place so I need honest truthful advice. Am I just making more of this then I should or is this a typical concern? @@2muchfun @@B-52 @@catfish87 @@gowalking

@@CarolinaGirl

well speaking for myself, i tend to make tidal waves out of a slight wave..i think you do need to relax..continue to exercise..continue to eat clean *leave the processed/boxed items on the shelves at the store*, eat fresh fruits, veggies and lean Proteins..i think you need to look at yourself and see where you are now and you are sitting pretty on a healthier weight.....

i do not have to go to my dr except as needed.....that being said i go every month because i want to and i like knowing where i stand and let them know i am okay...i get an xray under fluro every 3 months to be sure all is well..its called being responsible and that my dear is exactly what you are .......besides being gorgeous...and you are in control of yourself..you are controlling what you put into your body (eating wise) and the WLS is helping you say when..what a great thing.

now chin up, shoulders back, slide those tootsies into some high heels and work it girl and encourage those on this forum who need it...as you are a success story..proud of you..

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Thank you so much! I did ask my doctor for an x-ray and he graciously went along, he showed me everything was right where it was suppose to be and then asked if I wanted to do a Barrium swallow and I said no that's ok, this is all I needed to know. Now, Deep breathe, moving on, got my cutsie shoes on and I'm ready to keep rolling! Don't know what I would do without your encouragement!!! ((Hugs))

well speaking for myself, i tend to make tidal waves out of a slight wave..i think you do need to relax..continue to exercise..continue to eat clean *leave the processed/boxed items on the shelves at the store*, eat fresh fruits, veggies and lean Proteins..i think you need to look at yourself and see where you are now and you are sitting pretty on a healthier weight.....

I went in yesterday for my monthly follow-up appointment and am down another 7lbs, which puts me 10lbs below my goal weight. I never thought I would get here and I'm thrilled, I haven't been this weight since I was like 14:-)

Here comes a statement I never thought I would say..... I don't want to lose any more. I'm happy where I'm at right now, I don't want to lose and I don't want to gain, I just want to stay here. I'm not sure how to level this thing out:-) I asked my doctor and he said the band will stop at a certain point but that doesn't mean it will stop at MY point so, he suggested I start adding in more calories, which of course is the logical thing to do BUT it scares the **** out of me! Since I've completed my once a month follow-up care plan for the 1st year I know the typical thing is for them to see you every quarter for the second year, so I asked my doctor if it was ok with him if I just kept coming in every month and he said absolutely, he would do whatever made me feel more comfortable and if that's what I needed to do then he was good with that. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to figure this out. My doctor basically told me I just need to relax a little and things will fall into place, but you see I'm such a control freak that the thought of not being in control and flying by the seat of my pants has got me in a whirlwind. I feel like being out of control with my eating is what got me at 289lbs in the first place so I need honest truthful advice. Am I just making more of this then I should or is this a typical concern? @@2muchfun @@B-52 @@catfish87 @@gowalking

@@CarolinaGirl

i do not have to go to my dr except as needed.....that being said i go every month because i want to and i like knowing where i stand and let them know i am okay...i get an xray under fluro every 3 months to be sure all is well..its called being responsible and that my dear is exactly what you are .......besides being gorgeous...and you are in control of yourself..you are controlling what you put into your body (eating wise) and the WLS is helping you say when..what a great thing.

now chin up, shoulders back, slide those tootsies into some high heels and work it girl and encourage those on this forum who need it...as you are a success story..proud of you..

Edited June 4, 2014 by enjoythetime