Judgemental People

[shardy727 6]

How is everyone handling telling people about their sleeve surgeries? I am still not sure if I want to tell everyone or not. Unfortunately, I work at the hospital that I'll be getting mine done at so all of my coworkers will know. There are also family members that work there as well so I feel like complete secrecy will not be an option. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, I'd rather not deal with the judgment from people who don't understand or the people who are just jealous and/or rude. Also, there will inevitably be comments made afterwards about my appearance so I'm not sure what approach to take.

[Asdf12345 12]

I know exactly what you mean. I had originally wanted to keep it secret, if for no reason other than I didn't want to have to talk about it. Everything about being fat is judged negatively in this world, so I'm sure having WLS would be too. I have come to the conclusion that keeking it secret wasn't going to be possible. I often go out to lunch with my co-workers so keeping it secret wasn't going to happen. I ended up telling those around me (in the office) just so I didn't have to worry about them figuring it out when I couldn't eat like I did before, and pretty much wouldn't be able to eat at all for weeks.

I've told just about everyone in my group, including my boss who is a bean poll, tri-athelete. I thought for sure he would judge me, and maybe he has, but it sure makes things easier on me not to have to hide something that really couldn't be hidden.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Asdf12345

[brownj15 9]

I have slowly started to tell people. I go in for surgery in 2 days- gulp. My mistake was telling my 9 year old daughter what I was doing and she keeps telling everyone even thought I asked her not to tell people! However, I have found that the people that I was nervous would be judgmental have been supportive. I had to laugh because the 1st person I told said "I am so glad you are doing this" and the second person said "you don't really need to get that." I am not sure what the better reaction is But overall, everyone that knows about it has been very supportive and offering to help out with food for my family and help with kids.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Honestly it is a relief not to go around talking about the surgery. My husband made the decision he did not want me to tell anyone his business, so I agreed. We recuperated in the winter months, said we were dieting, and now all anyone wants to do is oooh and ahhh (trust me, it gets OLD fast!). Thank God I am not having to discuss my surgery with them. Working in a hospital makes it tough, but I had so many nurses there tell me they had or are having the surgery so it seems it is well accepted in the medical community.

[NYCVSGGirl87 24]

I have only told my family, boyfriend, best friend and therapist. I honestly don't feel that anyone else needs to know. People can be so judgmental. I feel like people are ok with people getting nose jobs and boob jobs but if someone is getting a surgery to improve their health, then you get judged. I also feel that there are people that are comfortable with you being the "fat friend" and feel threatened if you do something about that. I am very wary of telling people that I am not close with.

[Jentodream 3]

Agreed! I have told only my circle. Everyone else can wait until later. People are very judge and think it's the easy way out!! Anyone who has had it knows that is NoT the case!!!

[Pugmadkate 61]

I'm telling everyone but I have a little statement prepared that I stick too. I end it by asking if they have any questions. So far, so good. I am a confident person and I find being upfront puts me in control of the conversation.

Of course, to tell or not is a very personal decision.

[shardy727 6]

I'm trying to be more confident and I think I'm doing a good job but I'm also a people pleaser at heart. Sometimes I find it difficult to think about people's negativity. But I agree that being upfront gives you control. It might just surprise people and leave them unable to be negative! Lol

[Easterli 12]

I'm pre-op. My husband knows and I told my boss. That's it. I don't think it is anyone else's business. If/when some comment about the weight loss afterward,I plan to say thanks,and change the subject.

[belunos 93]

I put it in everyone's face and almost dared them to get snide about it. But, I'm kind of a dick so I don't imagine many will take that road.

People were really more curious than anything though.

[thesuse2000 698]

Would you be willing to share the key points you include in your prepared statement? I was just thinking today that I might just tell people at work and was starting to think about what I would say - but I didn't get too far... if I imagined what I would say to sort of proactively state my reasons for doing it, it ended up feeling too defensive...

I'm telling everyone but I have a little statement prepared that I stick too. I end it by asking if they have any questions. So far, so good. I am a confident person and I find being upfront puts me in control of the conversation.
Of course, to tell or not is a very personal decision.

[Easterli 12]

When someone asks me how I lost all that weight., I'm going to give them a puzzled look aand say,"what weight?".