Getting tired of personal questions regarding my weight loss.

[terry1118 1,274]

I've pretty much lost all the weight I need to - my labs are perfect, all my former health issues are resolved, I feel amazing, and I like how I look. My surgeon, my endocrinologist, and my PC doc are all pleased w/my results. They have no concerns whatsoever about my health and/or wellbeing. So, why is it people feel the need to express concern about my weight loss? Why do they feel they can tell me I look 'anorexic' (I don't - I still have a comfortable amount of 'padding'). They tell me they're 'praying for me' or 'don't lose any more weight' or 'are you okay?' or 'you look haggard - are you sick?' or the outright 'do you have cancer?'. I work in a bank so I see many people in the course of each day. These people are not friends. My friends and family are not that insensitive. What makes perfect strangers feel they can ask such personal questions and/or make such stupid insensitive comments? I'm getting tired of it...

Anyone have any one-liners I can respond with that'll shut them up?

[Marathongirl 106]

I've pretty much lost all the weight I need to - my labs are perfect, all my former health issues are resolved, I feel amazing, and I like how I look. My surgeon, my endocrinologist, and my PC doc are all pleased w/my results. They have no concerns whatsoever about my health and/or wellbeing. So, why is it people feel the need to express concern about my weight loss? Why do they feel they can tell me I look 'anorexic' (I don't - I still have a comfortable amount of 'padding'). They tell me they're 'praying for me' or 'don't lose any more weight' or 'are you okay?' or 'you look haggard - are you sick?' or the outright 'do you have cancer?'. I work in a bank so I see many people in the course of each day. These people are not friends. My friends and family are not that insensitive. What makes perfect strangers feel they can ask such personal questions and/or make such stupid insensitive comments? I'm getting tired of it...

Anyone have any one-liners I can respond with that'll shut them up?

"All my doctors say everything is great with me!"

They can't argue with a doctor, because they don't have a medical degree. My friends and family are still all upset about how many calories I eat. They just can't wrap it around their heads that I have a much smaller stomach and I don't absorb as many calories. They don't understand because they haven't been through it themselves. I hope everyone will just let you be.

[James Marusek 5,244]

I am a year post-op and have lost a goodly amount of weight. I am about the right size now. Most of the time, I notice people do not recognize me. They stare at me and try and figure out who I am. My wife made the comment one time that I looked so skinny that I reminded her of an (Auschwitz) concentration camp survivor. This was when I went to church and wore a suit. The only suit I had at the time was one of my old suits that was now 10 times too large. But it was all I had. Well that was an excuse to buy a new suit. In general, I am having a blast. I have replaced all my wardrobe over the past 6 months. The new clothes really adds to my appearance.

[Cupcake 801]

Congrats to you both I cant wait to see the same results you have and for those insensitive people who ask personal questions s well as make inappropriate comments , I would tell them simply thank you for your concern but I love the way I look I am healthy.

[JanetteH 80]

They tell me they're 'praying for me' or 'don't lose any more weight' or 'are you okay?' or 'you look haggard - are you sick?' or the outright 'do you have cancer?'.

Hi Terry

Congratulations on the new you - that's fantastic! I can imagine how annoying those comments are but I have to tell you about when I was on the other side of things.

An older male friend of mine visited after a year and didn't tell me he'd had surgery - he'd lost over 100lbs and compared to his usual plump round cheeks, he looked almost gaunt - then he told me why. What a relief to find he'd had WLS - the other explanation that jumped to mind was that he had cancer. Recently another work acquaintance had the surgery and when I went to a meeting I literally didn't recognize him across the room. It wasn't until he walked up to me and said hello that I realized who it was!

Now in both cases I kept my mouth shut - always a good policy - until it was appropriate to say "you look great - you've lost a lot of weight". So I'm prepared for the comments - just put a positive spin on it and think that these people care about you.

[esskay77 785]

I don't have a snappy answer and haven't lost enough weight yet to be in that dilemma but a coworker is about 5 pounds from his goal from doing Jenny Craig and he is getting the same comments. Our receptionist told me to make sure he eats because she is worried about him. I finally told her that he eats way more than the rest of us, he just eats the right things.

Personally, I can't wait for those comments! I'm down about 65 pounds and yet nobody has noticed.... lol.

S

[terry1118 1,274]

It's just getting a little irritating that people think there's something wrong. Thirty years ago I was a tiny person - barely 5' tall and 107 pounds. This is how I always mentally pictured myself. The 235 pound me always horrified me because I never thought of that person as ME. Now I'm closer to the 'me' I used to be. I still can't fit into the leather coat my husband bought for me our first year together (35 years ago) and I can't fit into my wedding gown either. I'm okay with that because I'm older and shaped differently. But I'm me again and I feel content with myself now. Maybe it bothers me more that these people who only ever knew the obese me think of that fat, unhealthy, miserable person as the 'real me'?

[greensleeve 457]

It's just getting a little irritating that people think there's something wrong. Thirty years ago I was a tiny person - barely 5' tall and 107 pounds. This is how I always mentally pictured myself. The 235 pound me always horrified me because I never thought of that person as ME. Now I'm closer to the 'me' I used to be. I still can't fit into the leather coat my husband bought for me our first year together (35 years ago) and I can't fit into my wedding gown either. I'm okay with that because I'm older and shaped differently. But I'm me again and I feel content with myself now. Maybe it bothers me more that these people who only ever knew the obese me think of that fat, unhealthy, miserable person as the 'real me'?

It might be the speed that it's coming off. It might be they wonder if you had WLS and they are trying to get you to say it.

I'm sorry they are bothering you so much.

[Writerjennifer 107]

I like the band name origin idea... REM, I think it was, gave a different origin every time someone asked how they got the name. I think I might have fun telling strangers different ridiculous reasons for the weight loss.

like...

I only eat oranges.

I took up pole dancing

Sex

I haven't lost any weight *blink*

Yeah, I found an awesome website that burns calories super fast.

[terry1118 1,274]

I didn't lose it fast, at least not that anyone noticed. My surgery was over a year ago. I've lost 115 pounds. Being short and a bank teller, I'm behind a high counter and people only see my face. The weight loss is more visible in my face now and it's only in the last couple of months that anyone has noticed it.

I've been fielding questions several times a day lately. Some people are really nice and genuinely concerned. To these I say I was on a doctor supervised weight loss plan. To people who seem to be genuinely looking for a solution to their own weight problems I share the fact of my surgery. It's the others that bother me. The busybodies, the gossips, the catty, the loudly opinionated, the rude and obnoxious - these are the ones I'm getting tired of. There seem to be an overabundance of this type of person when you work with the public. These are the ones who ask you point blank the kinds of questions that put you on the spot. And they're loud, usually asking questions in such a way that it attracts the attention of everyone in the lobby. Like the not-so-nice elderly lady who says "You poor girl - I'm praying for you! You look very sick. You should go to the doctor!" Then she says loudly to one of my coworkers "What's wrong with her? Don't you think she looks terrible? You should make see a doctor!" To which all I can say is "Thank you, have a nice day!" while smiling with my teeth clenched. ??????!

Seriously, there are a handful of people who have done this, or something quite like it, to me! It's embarrassing! :-p

I need a nice job in a private cubicle where I don't need to see people...

[terry1118 1,274]

I like the band name origin idea... REM, I think it was, gave a different origin every time someone asked how they got the name. I think I might have fun telling strangers different ridiculous reasons for the weight loss.

like...

I only eat oranges.

I took up pole dancing

Sex

I haven't lost any weight *blink*

Yeah, I found an awesome website that burns calories super fast.

I like "I haven't lost any weight *blink*" :-)