Failure

[Averiex 26]

I feel like a big, heavy, sad failure. I always set myself up for things to go wrong. It is sort of as though my brain does not want my heart to be happy; they cannot seem to get along. I feel guilty. Did I waste my Dr's time? His staff? My family? Myself? I had surgery May 8th, and although I know it is a tool, not a cure, I just feel lost. Sometimes I think I'm doing well. I feel thinner. But the scale says I have gained weight since starting the pureed part of the journey. I feel like I have failed and I have only just ended week 3 of my journey.

[2muchfun 8,927]

I'm really trying to be sympathetic here but come on, you're only 3 weeks post op? Did you think the band would go on and presto, you're skinny?? This might take years to lose all the weight. That's the tough love.

Your journey does not start till your band is adjusted properly. That could be no fills or 10 fills. Many and I mean many people do not lose weight at this stage of their journey. Some gain and if you're watching the scale every day it might go up and down for several months. Nothing to worry about and you're not a failure till you give up.

Your weight will never go down every day or every week. It just doesn't work that way. Good luck.

tmf

[Averiex 26]

I know; I never expected a presto moment. I'm just disheartened to have started gaining the weight back already.

[2muchfun 8,927]

Regardless of what your doctors or nutritionists told you, you won't start losing weight till your band is adjusted properly. Unless, you want to D-I-E-T! And we all know how successful we were at dieting? This is the phase of your journey no one tells you about and almost all of us went through it.

Try to eat healthy foods and you may not gain any weight. But this is the phase many of us call Bandster Hell. You're hungry as hell and your band isn't adjusted yet, so you can still eat bowls of food with no problem. But don't. Eat healthy and try to fill up on lean meats and veggies.

[Wendydarling19 310]

Welcome to Bandster hell

[B-52 7,113]

First month after surgery I lost weight, hard not to following a strict post-op liquids then mushie diet ordeal....

Then a 4 weeks, I got my first fill...4 cc's, was also able to start solid foods again.....after which I gained weight.

I came back 4 weeks after that, 8 weeks from surgery, for my second fill...reported in heavier than last visit....

To say I was very upset is an understatement....I too felt this was not going to work...and what made matters worse was the staff at the center started telling me about dieting, counting calories, measuring portions...WHAT??? I NEEDED SURGERY TO DO THAT????

That was exactly what I did for 30 years with no success....I thought surgery would get me away from all that....

It took me about 12 weeks, and 3 GOOD fills before things really started to be noticeable.....and then other problems arose where some people would have went back for an un-fil....but that's another story....

Today, I can say this thing truly does work....just have to give it time, get it adjusted, and change your ways in order to let the band work it's magic.....

!2 months after surgery I was a different person living in a different world...unbelievable!! But I was not so sure early on....

[Bandista 7,466]

@@Averiex, you have made the choice to change your life and that is very powerful -- pat yourself on the back, thank yourself for having the courage to get weight loss surgery. This can be a hard time -- all the hoopla and excitement have passed and the band is installed but not adjusted properly yet. All I can say is hang on, be good to yourself, work on listening to your band and start exercising. You will be surprised at how much exercise you will be able to do months from now. This will help with self-esteem as well as weight loss and toning. Eat well, make good choices and keep every appointment with your surgeon. The two of you will get your band working properly and then the appetite will dim and you will have an easier time.

[betty_s 476]

@@Averiex I had surgery the same day as you. I have lost some weight, but thats because I have been dieting, not relying on the band. I have cut out almost all carbs out of my diet. The only carbs I get are from veggies and I have had some watermelon/cantaloupe. Some meals I'm only getting my Protein in, and I'm stopping when I feel NOT HUNGRY, not when i feel FULL. I'm also already working out 5x a week, cardio HIITs + lifting.

I've kept a positive outlook this whole time, because i know as soon as it shifts to negative, the weight will pile back on. Stay positive, this isn't a magic pill.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

I say this over and over. You are newly post op. You are not going to lose weight every day, every month or every years. Sometimes it takes over three years to lose all your weight with many stop points. You can't get discourage this early in the game. If you are then you probably will fail. You haven't even had a fill yet. So put on your big girl panties and stop being a downer. You have to lose what took you years to gain. Its not going to happen over night or in three weeks.

[Lady VS 1,147]

There's nothing more to add except keep following your doctor and nutritionists orders. You will lose in time. Stay encouraged and not discouraged. Blessings

[Averiex 26]

Thank you everyone for kicking my butt. Sometimes I forget to look at the overall journey. I get stuck every few steps. Thank you all for being the guiding hands helping me to keep going.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@Averiex You got lots of sound advice here. Remember you just had major surgery and give yourself a break. You need some TLC not more bad feelings.

You have not failed you have not even begun this journey. Surgery is but the open doorway that you have just caught a breeze from and have yet to cross the threshold of. As many have said it takes time, you did not get to be the size you are over night and it will not go away over night. If it did you would be just as unhappy for the results as I have heard many other friends who have had alternate surgeries and lost weight quickly only to find themselves struggling years out with weight gain.

The beauty of the band is that as you lose slowly and adjust to your optimal fill levels you learn the basic mechanics of the band and you have the time to make the life style changes and learn to work along with your band in harmony.

This is something that other WLS modalities don't necessarily have afford you the time to learn, and patients find themselves learning after their initial weight loss that it takes that permanent life long lifestyle change not just a diet mentality to keep them healthy and their weight maintained.

So don't feel down, come to the boards and share your journey and seek support that's why we are here! You have a great group of people who have been down the road are on the road and we are always learning and growing and sharing with each other!

[Averiex 26]

Thank you everyone. I think i just needed someone to put things into perspective for me. I am doing much better and have even lost a pound since actually facing the truth that I was telling myself I was doing the right thing when I wasn't. Thanks!