Bariatric Bullies--You know who you are!

[Time4Kindness 48]

Just to let you Bariatric Bullies know--when someone posts a question here it is because they truly don't know or want constructive criticism! Not to be laughed at or made fun of or be answered condisendingly! Some of us know more than others and that's why we are here! You are not supposed to be a BULLY about it! I for one have been talked down to and literally laughed at for my question about protein!! I was new an knew very little about it and thought I was safe to ask anything here! BOY WAS I WRONG!!! There a quite a few Bariatric Bullies here! Grow up and be an adult already! I wondered why children bully and now I see its adults as well! =

Edited May 31, 2014 by anitasdream

[Kissifur 244]

Thank you, I am scheduled for surgery on June 5th and have been apprehensive about posting questions because of what you have described. The site is not very user friendly in terms of searching so I can see why some people find it easier to post a question.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I can see what you mean about searching this site. I've found it easier to look up topics using Google.

I search Google this way - site:bariatricpal.com "keyword"

Example:

site:bariatricpal.com Protein powder

Doing a search this way makes life easier. After I ran the search, I saved the Google search results page as a bookmark, it will save the entire search phrase and I don't have to type it in again. All I have to do is replace the keywords to run a new search.

[rome 156]

Some people forget that they were right where we are at some point in their journey....it's called the beginning! Somehow some seem to forget that. Remember for every bully there is a nice guy :-). I won't let the bullies silence me so I just disregard them and move on. This is your journey! Don't let anyone silence you and don't run from some great support on here. Maybe seek a few of those people out and friend them.

Good luck!

[thesuse2000 698]

My advice is to keep asking questions - and if people make comments that aren't nice or helpful, just try your best to ignore them and focus on the helpful ones. Keep in mind that it's also easy to have misunderstandings when you communicate in writing, instead of face-to-face.

[Pelicanlady 122]

Great post. Most of us that grew up heavy were bullied enough and don't need it now.

[woo woo 872]

Maybe I have just missed it, but I haven't seen the bullying.

I do agree that the search function leaves something to be desired.

Plus I think sometimes people want specific replies to thier own question, and to me there's nothing wrong with it either

[InfiniteButterfly 438]

I haven't seen any bullying either. I've asked numerous questions on here, and always had a positive experience. This is one of the most positive places I've found thus far online for support. YMMV

[Nicey2u 228]

I haven't seen any bullying either. I've asked numerous questions on here, and always had a positive experience. This is one of the most positive places I've found thus far online for support. YMMV

I agree.. I haven't seen any type of bullying with the threads I have been reading? I have learned so much from this site and have met a lot of kind helpful people. It made my post op and pre op phases so much easier!! It's hard because there is no voice inflection in typed words and just like text sometimes they are misunderstood. I would certainly hope this is the case.

[snochick2005 172]

People say things bluntly at times. They also sometimes react to a post rather then passing it by or letting them go, particularly the "I cheated posts." If someone is actually concerned about damage to their sleeve, they know to contact a doctor. I feel like most people post those because they either want validation that it's ok or they need a swift kick in the *ss. In case people haven't figured it out yet, you will get both reactions if you post that on here...

As for the other topics that get heated at times, read the responses that are helpful and ignore all the other stuff. That's all you can do. Don't worry about the stuff you can't control.

[LivingFree! 478]

Personally, I like to see the GOOD in all people, and just will not accept that people intentionally set out to bully their fellow WLS partners in health on this forum. I'm sorry for the people who feel bullied and choose to leave Bariatric Pal. I do not for one second believe that there is one person who posts here who believes they are perfect, or who have all the answers, or who is better than anyone else. We are all on the same journey, and care about each others' health and success.

It has been my experience in exploring other online WLS forums that their administrative monitoring is lacking compared to the professionalism with which Bariatric Pal is conducted. But, bottom line, everyone needs to find and use the resources that work for THEM and that will give them the best possible outcome they deserve to enjoy for the rest of their lives.

.

We cannot control what other people say, but we can control how we react to it. That was a hard, hard, hard life lesson for me to finally learn years ago. But I have learned it, and it has given me much peace. Peace to all . . .

[Time4Kindness 48]

I'm not saying everyone here is a bully! I'm just saying there are those small few that ruin it! I mean for someone to laugh and say mean things because of the way I worded something and call me dramatic is mean! I was really serious and looking for advice! Most here are very helpful but there are some that are mean with their answers! JUST SAYIN!!

[Jersrose43 837]

I haven't been bullied yet but still pre-op

I've asked questions that have been asked before and get answers people are tired of giving.

I have tried to do searches as well before posting something. But really people do come on here looking for validation they ate French fries ice creams and whatever

[Nicolanz 1,484]

My opinion, if you aren't breaking any rules laid out by the creators of this site, ask whatever you like. Some members like to make their own criteria as to what should be asked, how it should be asked, and when. Who are they? If they aren't contributing to your resolution, ignore their remarks. Let them be miserable on their own. Just remember that those with low self-esteem usually try to belittle others to feel superior. It isn't your fault. This is an exciting yet terrifying journey, don't be afraid of the "bullies". There's usually someone willing to give you a compassionate answer or suggestion. Good luck!

[Healthy_life2 8,327]

As a newbie myself have I made post that I regret? I'd have to say yes!

I'm a bit over exited about all of this. It's still so fresh and new. I took a snap from a senior member I just took it as a teachable moment. am I perfect? Is anyone on here perfect?

I just don't take a negative post to heart.

Reality for me?..... This is just another forum. you take the good with the bad. Choose the post that help you the most. I surround myself with the positive and let the negative go. Have you ever been to a forum that was drama free? I'm finding there are a few that have forgotten what its like to be a newbie and that's ok. There are people that are supportive as well.

So with that off my chest, I'm off tomorrow for surgery,

everyday is a clean slate. moving on,

Jenn